If you have a non-coaching or technical related question, please email email@example.com. The old ask Maggie page has been sunsetted, however you can still search the archive below.
Use the form below to ask your questions.
You are going to have to continue to tinker with the right balance while working with a medical professional. The thing is that everything I teach in Vibe Club still applies. Food freedom is not progressing to diabetes. There is balance of carbs that can feel good in your body. Overeating is very unhelpful to prediabetes as well and very stressful on the body. Your plan will probably include certain types of food that support your condition. It is not diet mentality to eat in a way that improves your health. Your plan needs to take into account finding that balance which may include checking blood sugar etc (again something to talk to your MD about). The thought work I teach will also be of utmost importance. What you tell yourself will determine whether you give up or figure it out. The right blend is there, you just have to play around to find it. Treat all of this like you are a scientist. Be curious. Experiment and be compassionate with yourself as you do.
Thoughts are tricky to give to other people because they have to work for you based on your current thoughts. We want to try to ladder them up to something believable to you but that also feels better. Default thoughts aren't a problem, believing them is. I want you to challenge each one.
"I just want to eat it"- is that true? Is that what you want most? Does you tomorrow feel good about that choice?
New thought- I just want to eat it, and that makes sense because I have told myself that for a long time. But when I check in with myself that is not what I really want and this is my opportunity to tell myself the truth. What do I really want?
Use that same format with the other thoughts you listed.
I think that you are exactly where you are supposed to be in the process. Your diet brain is lying to you that you are a loser because you cant do something you have never practiced after just 2 weeks. You are learning something new. How long would you give yourself to learn how to play the piano? Would you beat yourself up every time you played a note wrong? If you did, you would create a very frustrating experience. Your biggest work will be telling your diet brain to shut TF up and bring a compassionate conversation to a new process. Vibe Club is not another diet. Don't let your brain tell you that it is.
No it does make sense. The process I teach includes building a foundation via planning. If you keep weightloss as the primary main focus vs building the habits I teach here, Its going to backfire. It's easier to follow a laid out plan by someone else but it isn't an actual solution is the results don't last which sounds like the experience you had prior, along with not addressing the body image issues and perfectionist mentality.
What I teach helps you to develop trust in yourself vs a coach or meal plan or macro calculation and that takes willingness to face the brain drama head on. If you view VC as another diet, you will be disappointed and feel lost. Continuing to think "macro counting works" when it didn't actually work (sustainably/longterm) is going to affect the action you take here, so I would definitely explore that. If you desire more structure (rules), really go back through module one because the structure is there. I teach you to plan all meals for the day and then check in with your body before and during eating. And then through the evaluation you can get deeper into what is working and not working. Trust me on the building the foundation!
I understand your frustration. With diets like optavia that have you massively undereating, weight is bound to come off quickly and aggressively (but only if that is all that is being consumed). The issue I see with those diet though is that they create binge and overeating for most. So while people feel like they are eating 1000 calories for the time they are able to, the rubberband will break and overeating will compensate for the undereating which has people not losing weight. Unless you have tracked that you have eaten NOTHING but those meals for 2 months straight, I'm talking 60 days, then you are eating to maintain with any overeating you are doing. You can not eat 1000 calories a day and not lose weight. And if that is not the case, and you have eaten only those meals and have not deviated at all, I would see a medical professional.
Those things need to be addressed before the Vibe Club process can work. I don't coach on restrictive diets like optavia nor do I coach on calorie tracking. The focus on using short term fixes to lose weight before healing your relationship with food is rooted in that diet mentality.
You have to get clear about if you are ready to stop counting. You have to get honest with yourself that it is harming you by driving binge eating. Your brain thinks that calorie counting gives you control when it actually makes you feel completely out of control. You have to be willing to release that false sense of control because its coming from a place of not trusting yourself. And learning to trust yourself requires building that trust slowly over time by listening to your body. Instead of focusing on NOT obsessing about calories, focus ON the process taught in this program. When your brain offers calorie counting, redirect it to the process of planning and tuning into your body. The more you interrupt that pattern, the weaker it will get and you will have built a new pattern of trust and peace around food.
I want you to ask yourself what thoughts you were having when you almost bough the plexus diet vitamins. What were you telling yourself? That it would be easy? That it would be a shortcut? I'm curious about how much time you spend thinking about the WHOLE process of however much weight you want to lose vs asking yourself what is one thing you can do TODAY. When you say you know the answer, what is it? There is a reason you can't get moving and I would need to ask you some questions to figure that out. If there is any possible way you can get coached on Friday, please submit to be coached. Until then, I want you to make a plan tomorrow and I want you to evaluate that plan. Thats all. The way to get unstuck is to move that ass. Once you get moving, its easier to get momentum. Don't give up and please get coached.
Absolutely! You are handling it perfect. You told yourself its ok to want the cake but its not on the plan for today. Something that is great to add onto the end of that is "and I can put it on my plan for tomorrow." The goal is to not react to your urges and to make an intentional choice but giving yourself some space. Tomorrow, when you have your cake, eat it mindfully, pay attention to each bite, and stop when you've had enough. Enjoy it!
That is absolutely something to pay attention to. When it happens, review your daily plan. Try to make guesses with what it could be and what patterns you notice. There may be foods that you love that absolutely don't love you back. In that case, you probably don't want to plan those foods too often. If it feels serious, I would def consult with your primary care doctor to maybe look into food sensitivities.
I don't have a specific recommendation for probiotics. I would just pick one and see how it works out for you. What I do want to add though, is that I promise it isn't your gut standing in the way or preventing you from getting started. I'm not saying it doesn't contribute but watch for your brain being tricky with not only getting A probiotic but also getting the RIGHT one. Don't let your brain get held up here.
The way I did it was just starting to eat breakfast! It started as a very small breakfast. Then it got a little bigger and in time lunch shrank a little bit. But I think you may be right about how late you eat! You may just not get hungry until later in the morning. I stop eating around 6pm for the day and then eat breakfast at 7 next day. No need to force yourself to eat breakfast if it doest feel right. What time are you normally eating for your first meal? But to answer your question as directly as possible- I ate breakfast consistently.
Here is a post from a Canadian Vibe Club member from Canada! "Staples printed the entire 60 day planner with clear plastic front and back cover and bound it for just shy of $40.00 - for anyone in Canada looking to print a planner."
Shipping to Canada was super pricey for me and took a really long time to get to people. So that seems like a comparable option! You can also use the app "good notes" to edit the PDF.
But we are phasing out the printed planner. Once they are sold out, I will not be doing a reprint. They will be available to clients to print or get printed, but I encourage you to use the app! Everything will be moving there in time. And you can get started with planning and evaluating asap! Additional worksheets can be printed from the planner page in your member portal.
What other people say would be considered a circumstance. The Think Feel Do lesson talks briefly about this. It is the fact. So, for example, someone says the words "hey have you tried this diet? Maybe it would be good for you." (we cant change what people say). But the power of what happens next is in your control. What are you currently making it mean when you hear a comment like that? One thought you have is "man she sees me as super big". How does that thought feel for you? The current thinking you have is feeling hurtful for you. The way you dont internalize it is you make it mean something that wont be hurtful. You cant control other peoples opinions or the shit they send out your mouth. But you can choose what you will think and if you will do or say anything to them. You can always say something like "I would appreciate if you dont make comments about my body." You can change the subject. Does showing up for yourself include asking them to stop? Telling them that was rude? Letting them know it hurt your feelings? But most important is that you have your own back. What is the conversation you will have with YOU after people make those comments. What do you need to hear in those moments to remember you are completely whole and worthy. Are you willing to let people be wrong about you?
(FYI this is not medical advice)
I love this question because you have so much power here. It would be easy to want the doctor to be different, but let's go ahead and assume that he's going to be the exact same way he always is. He's going to give you all the ways you could lose some weight and he's going to focus a solid amount of time on it. You are feeling dread, why? What is it that you are telling yourself about the words he says to you? What do you make his words mean about you? You have all the power with choosing what you are going to think and it seems like you have a great story about that. "I'm healthy", tests are good, you're feeling good. Can you allow him to give his feedback as a doctor and know that you get to make it mean whatever you want. "Its part of his job, he's trying to be helpful, hes making suggestions and I get to decide what I do with those suggestions if anything." You get to respond however feels best to you. And you also get to choose a meaning about the appointment that leaves you feeling empowered instead of dreadful and rubbed the wrong way. I hope the appointment goes well for you!!
Overthinking it is normal, you are trying to learn something new. So this is not a dumb question! This process is a lot of trial and error.
Here is a resource that will help! It is a cheat sheet with all different potential signs.
For some, the growling is a sign that you're actually too hungry. You can re-train you body's hunger cues if you start eating breakfast again. I was able to do that and it dramatically decreased nighttime eating. I would explore that first and see how it goes and explore that cheat sheet to see if any of it resonates while you listen and learn your body's unique signals.
For the most part the body is going to balance itself out. So if you skip dinner or undereat on one day, its not abnormal to be starving the next day. If all you have is a little snack and protein shake all day, I would consider that not enough fuel for the day. Do you have a history of ignoring or overriding your hunger signals? If so, you may have to train your body a bit to eat consistently. I would probably still have a small dinner if I barely ate anything throughout the rest of the day.
The main focus in Vibe Club is emotional overeating. Focusing on the times you are eating but you aren't actually hungry and when you are eating past the point when your body has had enough. Consistent planning and data tracking helps you identify if/when there is a need to eat less. If I wanted to lose weight vs maintain, I would have to plan and eat less food. I rarely had to plan less food as I lost weight. My extra weight was due to all the emotional eating and eating beyond my plan. But since you are just starting, really focus on the emotional eating you are doing! Its going to be a new skillset and once you get to maintenance you just continue listening to your body! It becomes second nature and not something you have to really focus on once you have built that trust with your body.
This form is anonymous so I am not able to see your name or your info to contact you directly. If you go to Vibewithmaggie.com you will see that the total to join is $199. Its $160 join fee and your first month of $39. This is of course in USD so it may be more if you do not reside in the United States due to exchange rates. To help you further, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
This is so normal. But I want you to let that be the first thought you question. Were you really a failure in the past? Or were you just not set up to succeed? Or were you managing a lot mentally? If you didn't "fail" in the past, what else could be true? I like to believe, "I'm learning. I'm doing this in a different way. For the first time ever, I am going to start listening to and honoring my body instead of overriding it." Every day is a chance to feel successful in SOME WAY, you just have to direct your brain to see it.
There was a good coaching call around this same thing December 29th that I think would be super helpful for you. Its the first woman I coached, so I would check that out!
You are hearing an old voice and I want you to start identifying it as that. It could be a voice you developed growing up or the way someone else spoke to you but it isn't YOU, its default thinking. I cant't offer advice to make it stop because when that conversation has been practiced over so many years, it becomes habit. But you can definitely turn the volume down on it and shift away from it so its not the default anymore. It takes time.
You don't need to jump from that conversation to a conversation of love and adoration from your body. But I'm wondering if you can bring in some neutrality to your thinking? Your brain says "omg look at your belly, look at those hips and thighs, you're so weak and lazy." You can notice those thoughts and respond " Yes I have a body with a stomach and hips and thighs. I am strong and I have been through a lot. I am learning a new way to talk to myself. And I am becoming someone who doesn't participate in talking about my body like this." What would supporting yourself look like in that moment? What would you tell someone you love immensely who was struggling with the same thing? Getting a few lbs off will not change that conversation, this IS the real work.
I want you to really pay attention to the bonus podcast on Monday Feb 13th because it is an overview about nervous system dysregulation. When you described how you feel in your body it sounds like fight or flight energy to me. Your system is getting triggered and introducing some exercises to help signal safety to your brain will help you have a new conversation and drive new action that isn't eating to feel calm.
Use what you learned from adding more protein! I try, as much as possible to prioritize protein at all my meal and snacks. It helps so much with satiation and feeling my best. I know Im not getting enough protein when I get hungry pretty fast. When you make your daily plan, prioritize protein! Our brain says we need to focus on exact grams and track it all and eat so much, but most of us do well to increase it by making it the main focus we plan our meals around. So yes, I do let my body decide what I need is enough. And when your hair was thinning, that was your body telling you it wasn't enough. So I would keep planning your meals similar to how you have been but that doesn't require tracking.
It seems like you are thinking the "right" thoughts but they aren't creating an emotion that leads to following through with your plan. I think even after you have that thought, another thought is coming up that is more appealing and negotiating for the overeating instead. Can you identify what those thoughts are? Not the right ones, the ones that are taking the right ones place? If you have doubt because you are regaining your weight and are believing more and more that you cant trust yourself, that will drive eating off plan and overeating as well. What if the right thoughts that worked before aren't the right thoughts for now? What would you need to think to create trust and follow though instead of doubt and distrust? I love the thought "I have done it before, and I can absolutely do it again." Don't resist whats happening right now. Really lean into it because there is def something here. "i've worked so hard on this process but I'm struggling again" that thought creates shame and shame drives overeating. You did work hard in the past and you were successful. Circumstances have changed now but use it as a reason to figure it out vs a reason to shame yourself for being a human who is struggling. Compassion and curiosity! Removing the thoughts creating shame while working with building the trust will be the ticket here.
I answered this on the Q+A kickoff on February 1st. I know you were on that call but I would also encourage you to listen to the replay. I would love to hear the strategies you are going to try for interrupting the middle of the night eating habit. Post in the FB group if you are in there!
What if there isn't a right answer here? What do you think the longterm looks like for you with the scale? Does your future self weigh herself? If so, How often? This isn't a permanent decision. If you brought back the scale and changed your mind, you could put it away again. I would just check in with your reasons. Are they driven by curiosity? Or a lack of self trust? Or something else? Make the choice that feels the most empowering for you.
What I want to offer here is ask yourself "Am I doing this because I dont trust myself?" Honor the feelings you have that it is scary to let go of what you know. But also ask yourself if what you know is working for you. I found with myself and many clients that IF drove overeating and bingeing. It felt like I had more control but that was a lie I was telling myself. Does IF cause you to ignore hunger signals? If so, that will stand in the way of learning how to truly honor your body. There isn't a right/wrong here. There is just exploring your reason for your choice. Does it serve you? Do you want to spend more time practicing IF when your ultimate goal is to trust yourself and not use it in the future? If so, you are delaying the inevitable. We don't focus on deficits or calories in Vibe Club mainly because the way I help you lose weight is by reducing emotional overeating and reconnecting to your body instead of outsourcing to apps to tell you when to stop eating. The best advice I can give to you as a noob is to not view everything I teach through a dieting lens. Thats a surefire way to slow things way down. I am so glad you are here! Give yourself time to learn and practice and I promise it gets much less scary.
This is something I want you to play around with. If being super specific hasn't been working, explore why. Do you like what is on your plan? If you are changing things constantly, why? Just get curious. For some, the specificity is helpful, for others, broad works. Ultimately not overeating is the goal you are after and so craft your plan in a way that supports that outcome for you. For me, specificity was helpful for a very long time. Now I am still pretty specific, but if I'm not, it doesn't mean I overeat. I use planning specifics more for how it helps me prep for the day and make less decisions all throughout the day. If protein, carb and fat is enough for your brain then go for it!
I relate completely to this. I feel like a different human between the first and second half of my cycle. You need to adjust you plan and workouts for those times. I am prepared for the worst but plan for the best case scenario- but the best case is I am going to be tired, I am going to turn inward, I am going to be more all over the place mentally... and thats ok. The biggest shift I made was accepting it, then I didn't have to eat over it. You need to make a plan that is doable and realistic for those 2 weeks. It could be your "luteal phase protocol". It will take time to create. I am finding that limiting sugar is helpful for me (not eliminating, but reducing) I also don't push nearly as hard in the gym. I take advantage of my added energy and strength during the first half of my cycle though. The goal remains the same- focus on honoring hunger and stopping at enough and it doesn't have to derail you at all. Ultimately, its not expecting your capability to be the same every day of the month. Its accepting that this IS what your energy does. And its creating a gameplan overtime that gives you what you actually need during that phase of the cycle. But what you do may be different than what I do. I highly recommend the book "period power" by maisie hill. She goes so in depth into each phase and what to expect and how to support.
I would try both ways. So much of what I'm seeing lately indicates that its actually better to eat before coffee! You could also try waking up and hydrating and see how your body reacts. Its normal to be mildly dehydrated upon waking up and that could possibly help to push that meal out. But remember to honor your hunger. Don't be afraid to play around with what works best for you. There isn't a "right" choice, there is just a choice that works based on your preferences and the schedule of your day.
I do not currently do any 1:1 coaching. I love the group coaching model and how many people can benefit from both submitting to be coached and how many can benefit from observing the coaching. If I ever open up 1:1 coaching spots, VC would be first to know, however I don't have that intention at the moment.
This is one of those scenarios where you have to just do your best and plan in advance when you can. There are times where I know I will have calls or appts and wont be able to eat when I normally get hungry. In those times, I eat before I'm hungry. The only thing it really affects is when I get hungry again or maybe the size of my next meal. I would probably start eating early morning. You will retrain your hunger signals to present themselves at that time after a while of doing that. Underfueling and getting hangry absolutely will drive overeating later. So really ask yourself, how can I really do my best to give my body consistent energy? Where can I find 5 minutes to eat a satiating snack during my schedule? And then your main focus will be not eating past enough,
I recommend incorporating it only for mental health/physical health reasons, but not for weightloss reasons. In fact, I encourage your mental energy to be spent focusing on reducing overeating instead of exercise. Its not something I would force. An easy place to start is just walking. It is amazing for your health and heart. I make it more enjoyable by blasting music, some people love a good podcast. How can you combine it with things that would make it more enjoyable? Use it to compliment what we do here in Vibe Club but not as a main focus for weightloss.
Yes, search for workouts that use progressive overload with compound movements. I love having an adjustable dumbell set. Make sure you have rest days. I love lifting 3x a week. Submit another ask maggie if there are any other specific questions. Or post in fb or on a Q+A.
The way you will lose the last 20-25 lbs is be reducing the overeating you are currently doing. I think a "strict round of whole 30" could very easily have rebound effects once it ends. What if you didn't need a strict round? What if your protocol can just utilize a lot of those foods that make you feel really good? The way you mesh the two is by eating foods that make you feel good, being realistic with a doable plan and then honoring your hunger and enough signals. I would just explore if you love your reasons for that commitment. What will determine the weightloss is if you stop overeating so make that your focus.
To cancel your membership you can login to your member portal at vibewithmaggie.com. You will click "your account" and then "view or cancel plans" to cancel your membership.
I used EMDR therapy to process childhood trauma that was having an effect on my nervous system now as an adult. It is a therapy that allows you to process trauma while stimulating both sides of your brain so that it essentially gets the trauma unstuck and allows it to move through. It helped me to remove the emotional charge from those memories. It took about 5 months before seeing major results. I highly recommend it as a therapy as someone who tried nearly everything to deal with my anxiety in my life. That anxiety was due to underlying trauma. Hope that helps!
So you have identified that you are not eating enough. I want to challenge you on not knowing what the answer to "have I had enough" is. It's leading to feeling frustrated when the answer is "no I haven't had enough." Finding enough will include many times of eating shy of enough and eating past enough. You want to learn what your signals for enough are. Are you familiar with any signs that you have had enough? Revisit the lesson "have you had enough?" and check out the cheat sheet below. This will help you identify some specific signals to look for. Lean on patience vs frustration. You can figure it out! But frustration is one of those emotions that causes us to quit. If you are frequently hungry after meals, you may be eating to neutral. If you know you are undereating, your focus should be eating more. Eat more and then pay attention to the signs from the cheat sheet below. https://uploads-
The struggle that you are having allowing yourself to have them and actually planning them is putting them on a pedestal. It is not on an even playing field with all food and kind of has a forbidden vibe. That increases desire. If you are tempted to have even more, and you do, that is a choice you are making and not something that happens just because you ate the food earlier. More desire is being created because you are telling yourself you should have waited and savored it which feels unfair. Get clear on how you want to eat those chocolates. Its ok for your brain to say "we want them now" and to have a conversation at that point. "no, we don't want them now. We like eating them later in the day when we can really be present with the experience and then move on." You sold yourself this time on eating them early, how do you sell yourself next time on eating them in the way that serves you best? Take that to your journaling and get clear on it so "i want them" doesn't win the convo next time.
I love that you enjoy it for your mental health and that your body comp is changing. The scale changing will be determined by how much you eat. Since you are new to this process, I would give yourself time to practice and collect data so you can see how often you are overeating and start there. Also keep in mind that the type of workouts you do could increase hunger, so pay attention to that as well. It was normal for me to see a bit of a stall in weightloss for 2 weeks ish when I started a new workout routine. Collect a month of data and then go from there. Welcome to Vibe Club!
This form is anonymous so I am unable to email you (because I don't have your name). I emailed new members who joined on Black Friday. Check your spam email box to see if you have an email from email@example.com. If you don't, please email firstname.lastname@example.org and we will help you out!
I want you to question whether it is relaxing and helping you unwind to eat foods that make you feel like shit. There are two options here: don't eat the foods that make you feel like shit and are allergic to and explain to yourself that its an act of love because you care how you feel. Or you can plan to eat those foods sometimes but explain to yourself that there will be effects with how it makes you feel (this is also a completely fine option).
Also the thought "if I don't eat the foods I like over the weekend come Monday, I feel like I've missed out and couldn't truly unwind". Explore that in your journaling. What would you be missing out on? You have to stop telling yourself it helps you unwind to eat food that makes you swell up and get irritable. Is there a way to create balance? Have you tried truly eating small amounts without overeating? The way you can actually enjoy the weekend is by planning in a way that makes you feel good. You have to determine how much leeway you have there.
I think we need to address your calorie budget mindset before we can really tell what is and isn’t working in regards to portion size. I know you’re eager to see results— but doing this up front work is in your best interest in losing weight and keeping it off forever.
Let’s get rid of your calorie tracking device/apps, or find a way to hide the calorie burn (my oura ring has that option). If you're using the walking pad to earn food or burn food, I would consider not using that for the time being. It's so important to not treat the process I teach like a diet. I want you to focus more on how you made a plan and crushed it.
I don't want you to reduce portions at all until you are able to break the focus on calories and make the shift of listening to what your body is telling you through cues vs what your brain is telling you about calories. You will have to challenge your brain every time it wants to mentally track as you plan and eat and move your body because you have been practicing the habit of excessive focus on calories. What I am teaching you is a completely different skillset, it will take time and practice to learn it but I know you can do it!
It will just be a balance of learning how to make sure you are good and hungry by dinner, but not too hungry. When it comes to listening to your own hunger cues when eating with your family, stopping at enough will be most important. Does your family have a certain time of day that they eat dinner? Are you not normally hungry at that time? You may be eating too close to when dinner is. This will come with practice and experimenting. If you have more questions or details around this, post in the FB group, get coached or submit your question for the next q+a!
Absolutely work through the planner without focusing on weighing and measurements. Weight loss comes from learning and practicing the tools and for some, the scale is not helpful in the beginning or maybe ever. And you can trust that if it feels right for you!
Lowering sugar doesn't lead to binges, our thoughts about lowering sugar does. So it's one thing to reduce sugar because you are afraid it will make you fat or that you can't lose weight while eating sugar (both are diet thoughts), reducing sugar for health reasons is a different perspective. I'm not saying that your brain won't interpret the change the same way but that is just because of your dieting history. But having the thought "I am going to try a gentle reduction of sugar to see if it helps to alleviate some issues I have been having" is not diet mentality. In order to not have it lead to binges, you will have to remind yourself of that. And that you aren't "taking sugar away", you are experimenting for health reasons.
I’ve listened to a lot of your podcasts and finally decided to join Vibe! I’ve gone through the course, ordered my planner and not sure where to start. Should I just start planning? I am going out of town this weekend and I have no idea what, where or when we will be eating. I just feel a little lost. I am sure getting my planner will help.
I recommend having an alternate protocol for your period if that is something you struggle with. But also remember that food won't solve for anxiety or hormones. So I suggest having a good combo of a realistic period protocol and including ways of self care that will help with anxiety, moodiness, brain fog etc. Do you need to eat a bit more during that time of the month? Planning an extra treat? Really ask your body what it needs. Awareness that this is an obstacle for you is the first step, and choosing what you will think about it is the second step. I totally relate to this and have struggled in the days leading up to my period. Some changes I have made are reducing sugar and caffeine, staying hydrated with electrolytes and not overcommitting. I know my energy will come back and my anxiety will go back down after this period but I am so gentle with myself during the challenging part. Start playing around with a protocol for your period and evaluate and adjust moving forward.
The reason for the extra weight is due to the overeating. So if you eat to enough, you will reduce the overeating which reduces the extra weight. There are points where enough maintains your weight and then yes, you play around with the tools to eat less without feeling like your eating less (leaving bites behind, setting timers, etc) But until then, main focus is learning the signals of true hunger and the signals of enough food where you aren't eating more than your body needs for fuel.
I would relisten to lessons 5,6, and 7 in the weightloss course. Deciding to eat because "It looks good" isn't physical hunger. Practice hearing those thoughts in your head and presenting new thinking in the moment. "It looks good... BUT I'm not hungry. When I am hungry, I will make something that looks and tastes amazing. I am learning to honor my hunger". Many of the choices you are making to eat are based in fear. Fear that you will get too hungry later, fear you'll crave it later, fear you'll overeat. The decision to eat isn't coming from trusting your body, it's coming from doubting your body. Thats normal. Trust has to be built, and the way you build it is by listening to your body, not your brains thoughts about your body. If you continue eating when you are not hungry, you won't lose weight. So your work will be in creating a new conversation and trust with your body by listening to its actual signals instead of the mental drama your brain presents that you can't believe your body. This takes time and practice. What is one way you can start listening to your body today? Start there.
What I see most frequently is not a plateau but a habit of sticking to a plan for a bit and then eating off plan and doing that JUST ENOUGH to maintain a range of weight by a few lbs. I know you're new to Vibe Club so these are the things to look at first: Are you making and following a plan daily? Has there been any overeating/eating off plan? If the answer is no to those questions and you have gone 3 weeks following the plan and not overeating, it would be time to evaluate your "enough" as it may have changed. But you are probably just getting into all the content so focus on implementing this new process before troubleshooting for a stall because that normally works itself out after you follow the plan consistently and honor your enough signals.
I haven't ever taken either. If you feel like they are serving a purpose with how your stomach feels and helping your digestion, then I don't think they are a problem. At some point you may want to try going without them to see how it feels and when you get hungry etc. But I wouldn't worry about it if it isn't a problem for you and isn't driving overeating.
It may not be eating MORE at breakfast, but more satiating foods. So I would either try adding more protein and decreasing something else, or dont worry about it! If you have to eat 2 hours later, that may be a good time for a snack to hold you over until you get physically hungry! Honoring physical hunger is most important.
Decide in advance what you will do when the snacks are brought in. You wont know when they will be there, but you can plan in advance what you will do when they show up. When you eat food from a place of stress, it doesn't create a great relationship with those foods. I would recommend deciding do you want to eat those snacks if you are physically hungry? And deciding that if you aren't physically hungry, you wont eat them. Sometimes that frees up some brain space and helps you make the decision. Your brain will still try to convince you that you ARE hungry to justify eating them- what can you say back to your brain to calm it down? "Its not that we cant ever have these delicious snacks, its just that we wont be having them if we aren't physically hungry for them." Adding this caveat can be part of your protocol.
This would be amazing to submit for the coaching call on Wednesday at 10am EST. The coaching calls can be used for Life Coaching as well. If you can make that call, look out for the Coaching submission form that will be sent out Sunday morning. If you are wanting written coaching, you can resubmit in Ask Maggie with what is coming up for you and what you feel like the "problem" is that you're wanting to solve for. But I def think many people would benefit from seeing you be live coached through this!
I want you to journal around the thought "I have to eat gluten free". When It comes to health conditions that are improved by the way we eat, choosing foods that support our body is a gift. But it's very common to not feel that way and to describe it as something that isn't fair. The binging is an action created by telling yourself "I deserve this because Im so limited on what I can even have". That thought will absolutely drive up the desire. Your brain believes they are dangerous so you always binge them, and you need to create safety in your brain. You could plan a GF treat every single day if you wanted. The scarcity mentality is kicking in "better eat it now because you don't know when you will have it again." Are you ever putting those GF treats on your plan? Use the worksheets this month to uncover your thinking and plan intentionally. And please use the cheat sheet as well. It's going to be very helpful for new ways to learn to eat those treats mindfully vs mindlessly and help you create that trust. If you need more help, get coached this month. It's the perfect month to practice eating those foods on purpose. Be patient with yourself while you learn and practice. :)
I may need more context for this but I'm going to answer it the way I understand it. Were you only eating the cookie because you put it on your plan? You do not have to eat the cookie if you don't want it or aren't hungry for it. The only part I want you to explore is "should I try to avoid the dessert if I could have with no problem?" It isn't whether or not you eat the cookie. It's the reason why you choose to eat it or not eat it. Why would you be trying to avoid the dessert? Is that choice coming from diet rules or from you legitimately not wanting the cookie? There are many times I put dessert on the plan and choose not to eat it because I don't want it or I'm not hungry for it. Some reasons I don't want you skipping foods on your plan is because you are afraid to eat it, you think you won't lose weight eating it, or you are trying to go without it to lose weight as fast as possible.
What matters most is the reason why you do something. Eating low carb isnt good or bad. But the reason you have for eating low carb is because Its what you think will work. I assume you have tried low carb. Has it worked long term for you or have you fought against it because it was challenging to sustain? Remember that to lose weight, you have to stop overeating. But if you know your future includes rice, oatmeal, and quinoa, you are postponing doing that work and making peace with those foods and learning that they don't prevent weight loss. If you love to eat low carb, then that is great. What would be the issue with including rice, oatmeal and potatoes occasionally to practice eating those foods? Nothing changes once you lose weight. What if you can lose weight and enjoy those foods? (you can) Your best plan moving forward is a plan you can follow while honoring your body's hunger and fullness. Perhaps that plan includes both low carb foods (if you truly enjoy them) and higher carb foods you mentioned.
You had health issues and your doctors advised against keto and gave you specific recommendations based on testing. Those are the facts. Diet mentality is when you make decisions based on weightloss and past diet history. So your brain is interpreting these recommendations from your doctor, for health reasons, as all the "stuff youre not allowed to have." But what if there is a completely different way to think about it? You don't have to follow any recommendations of your doctor. But it sounds like you value having a solution that could help with your health issues. It seems like its worth giving a try. Your work will be around creating a juicy story around these changes. One where they serve your highest good and who you want to be vs restrictions. Sometimes the way you learn to love your plan if you love the results it gives you. Instead of focusing on all the stuff you can't have, I want you to make a list of all the things you can have. Make your plan from that list. It's ok to feel disappointment and frustration. Allow yourself to process those feelings. But then decide how you want to show up that allows you to feel amazing. You are worth that. Get coached on a coaching call if you need more support with this!
This is a very common part of the process. As you allow yourself to enjoy foods you previously restricted, you start to actually be able to feel how they feel in your body and make a choice as to whether or not you WANT to include them after weighing the pros and cons. A desire to have more energy and less hunger are great reasons for the foods you put on your plan. But the mindset you have around a "low carb protocol" is triggering your diet thinking and your brain is panicking. I think you are right on about upleveling more slowly. What if you just take it a day at a time starting with your first meal of the day or first 2 meals of the day? What if you didn't have to see it as a "low carb protocol"? I eat many low carb meals, but I don't think about it that way. They are just meals that make me feel great. Watch your brain when it offers that there are only two options here: Plan foods you love and all the flour and sugar... or low carb protocol with exceptions. What if there's a perfect YOU protocol and you are still just finding out the balance of that? You have to have the conversation with your brain that this isn't a tightly controlled diet, this is you experimenting with what balance looks like for you. And again I want to remind you that this is totally normal. Start from where you are at and uplevel 1-2 things at a time. Start slow and be willing to have the conversations with yourself that this is not what you have done in the past so that your brain calms down.
First off, I know how hard that transition can be. Having all the foods available can feel challenging and it may also seem like the reason you are up is because of the carbs, but the reason it is up is because of overeating. And that can be a totally normal part of the process. It’s doesn’t really matter whether you are low carb, no carb, complex carb or all carbs, your work is to honor your hunger and stop at enough/satisfied. What will determine gaining more is if you continue to overeat. If you want balance, it’s important to plan in a balanced way. Include foods you love. Practice eating those foods while really listening to your body while you eat. There isn’t a right answer on “what to eat” other than what makes you feel good and what you enjoy. Use what worked from keto when it comes to foods you like. Add in carbs that you enjoy. Don’t overeat. Your brain will want to complicate it. But the way you break food rules is by showing your brain that it is safe to eat those foods. Give yourself time. If you just decided in May to change what you are doing, make sure you allow yourself the time it takes to learn something new.
Vibe Club will absolutely help you if you work the process that I teach in the weightloss course. Visit the "start here" page and get started. You do not need to give up your favorite foods like cheese and peppermint mochas to lose weight. But I want to invite you to be willing to release the story you have about why you can't lose weight and how nothing has worked and why there is so much standing in the way. If you continue believing that story, you will apply it to your experience in Vibe Club as well and experience the same outcome. You will be quitting before you even get started here. Can you be willing to trust that this is different and cant be compared to the other things you've tried? Vibe Club isn't a diet. It's a place where I help clients unwind their diet thinking and reconnect to themselves after years of being out of touch with their body. Going all day without eating will always drive overeating at night. Vibe Club will give you a process for listening to your body's hunger and enough signals if you're willing to give yourself time to learn and listen. Welcome to Vibe Club!
The way you make it easier is to create a very juicy story around your health. That story will have to be more compelling than eating whatever you want. If it feels heavy and like an unfair obligation, you will push back against it. Spend some time journaling and making a list of your "whys" that will carry you through when your brain starts to complain. I am glad you are noticing the all or nothing possibility that may be triggered by your decision. The cool thing about keto is that if you get fat adapted, your body switches back into ketosis quicker. So staying keto 4 weeks before eating off of keto may be helpful. But remember that advice wont help if that's simply not doable. You will have to play around with the frequency that works best for you and your body.
I drink pruvit ketones, mainly as a pre-workout and moodboost. I do not use them for weight loss. Link is thelowcarbllama.shopketo.com and my referrer code is: thelowcarbllama
What will always answer the question of "is this diet rules/mentality?" is what is the reason I am making this choice? "I can only allow those things if I earn them with a workout" is a diet rule around carbs. Aka: I can have carbs but only if I earn them. And even still they are low carb carbs. You are keeping a very tight grip on the rules of allowance. You don't have to earn food. My challenge to you is to add more carbs on days when you are not lifting. It will make your brain explode a little bit and we want that. Those negative feelings that come up are showing you the diet rules. The way to make peace with food is by challenging the rules and showing safety around the food. As always, listen to your body while you eat and stop at enough.
Give yourself credit for everything you are doing and how you are already thinking about it.Your planned exception doesn't have the power to derail you, but what you tell yourself afterwards does.
So def decide what you are going to think afterwards. What are the sneaky things your brain usually says that leads to binging sugar for days? "it doesn't matter" "not in ketosis (if you're keto)" "enjoy yourself before you have to get back to being strict)-- figure out what the thoughts are for you and what to say back.
I also want you to go to the place in your mind where you plan the exception, don't over eat and then get right back on your plan the next day. How proud are you? How good does it feel to have new evidence that you can have a different experience? Spend some time in that place.
And remember that this is a learning experience and it takes practice.
No such thing as messing up and I truly mean that.
I want you to consider that it not possible to change years of behaviors in a week or from watching a video.
You’re feeling awful and disappointed because the story you’re telling is “I already messed up twice”
What about this story: “I am really becoming aware of the specific instances where I get tripped up with following my plan. And I’m reaching out for coaching so that I can overcome these things and get momentum. I’m proud of myself”
I like that description so much more and I believe it’s absolutely true.
I want you to go to the worksheet section and print some curiosity worksheets out and do one for this situation. Let me know what insights you get from it.
Hi Jennifer! This is such a great question. First I want to show you some thoughts that are standing in the way of getting to the bottom of this:
"choczero is a food that is turning into addiction"
"I cant seem to stop with choczero chocolate"
"I cant seem to stick to one"
"I really feel like I cant stop"
"I cant talk myself out of buying it"
It absolutely makes sense that you arent stopping when you believe those things. And you are believing them because thats what you currently have evidence for. But you are not at the mercy of choczero. Each time you eat one, you are making a choice and that choice is probably fueled by one of the thoughts above.
So two places to look: Kari was dead on that sometimes what is actually happening is ou didnt eat enough at prior meals so start there.
second place is: if you didnt keep eating them, what would you have to feel? Deprived? Fomo? Disappointment? You may not feel like its emotionally driven but you may be continuing because you dont want to stop for an emotional reason even if its not super deep. But you dont get to avoid the disappointment or fomo. Because you are disappointed that you arent losing weight and youre missing out on the results you want. You get to choose your flavor of disappointment here.
So start at those 2 places. TFD + feelings module could be helpful.
I want to acknowledge that you did choose to stop. You may not like your reason for it, but you did. So take credit for that.
Second it is normal to have slip ups. Look at how you’re describing this as the “worst” you’ve been. What if we removed all the judgement? The fact is “I overate on my birthday”… what else could you make it mean?
Could It just be that because you forced yourself to eat dinner you weren’t hungry for, you brain went crazy with the story of “well we’ve already overate and we’ve been so good since January. May as well eat all the things we haven’t been allowing?” What if that’s ok? That’s not an abnormal thing on this journey.
What if in the future you simply say “I’m not hungry and I don’t want to eat or I won’t love how I feel”.
Don’t ruin your day ruminating ❤️ The hindsight you have already gathered will help you next time this happens. And it will happen again at some point. And that’s ok. You are doing great. Enjoy the rest of your birthday weekend!
If it were my honeymoon, I would absolutely prioritize enjoying the food and drinks. But I would also prioritize how I wanted to feel as well. My protocol would prob look something like the 50/50 protocol I discussed in the vacation module! Half of the day would be what I would normally do and most likely dinner and dessert (and a drink) would be just enjoying myself without overeating.
Do you have your current protocol decided? What parts of your current protocol will work for you honeymoon?
Overeating and binging on past vacations probably came from not having a realistic plan as well as feeling like you may as well go all out while you're eating all the things. It's absolutely possible to have a balanced vacation. You will need a thought plan too. What are the thoughts you want to have on your trip so that you can prioritize following your plan knowing that it is a fabulous doable mix of food that makes you feel great and food that is super fun.
You also could decide to eat fun food at every meal and watch portions without overeating. That is an option as well. A honeymoon/vacation doesn't make or break your journey. If you aren't overeating constantly, you aren't going to gain a bunch of weight.
I feel like this podcast will be super helpful as a resource:
At the end of the day the only thing that will determine how you feel about it is your thoughts about it. So pics aren’t good or bad. They are neutral. Our thoughts about them will create how you feel.
My thoughts after I had my second baby and saw pics from before I got pregnant were “I can’t believe I have to do this again” “I can’t believe I gained 55lbs, I said I wouldn’t let this happen” “I looked so much better then” so for me, not helpful. I could have worked on changing my thoughts about those pics but I decided a better use of my time was focusing on who I would be every day and who I was becoming, not who I had been.
If you’re drinking regardless, plan a drink. Then it’s a choice and there is permission there. You can still lose weight while drinking but normally the issue isn’t the drink it’s drinking too much and then eating a bunch that we didn’t plan. Best way to figure it out is to practice and collect feedback!
This is really a great question and will be helpful to so many people who have changes in routine coming up with the summer.
You already have identified the issue. Two things you are believing is that you have difficulty making and following a plan and you treat it as a vacation when he is home.
But it's not any harder to make and follow a plan when he is home. You are just telling yourself those things above and then making choices not to prioritize sleep, eating or a routine. They don't have an ability to go out the window without your consent.
You have a certain routine you've created when he is home. And its not currently working.
So if you don't want your husband being home to activate yolo mode, you will have to change your thoughts about him being home.
When he is home, you deprioritize your habits. If you want to do something different, you will have to choose to think something different.
What changes do you need to make to your protocol/plan so it is realistic for when he has time off? Plan more fun food? Eat breakfast? There is going to be a balance of making the plan more doable and managing your brain around the fact that when he is home it isn't eat all the things time and put yourself on the back burner.
How can you enjoy your husband and keep your promises to yourself so that you don't find yourself feeling terrible come august?
Have you finished the weightloss course? I would go back through the feeling the feels lesson + the urges lesson.
Your brain is presenting food as a solve. That makes sense. It's a well practiced pattern. So if you were absolutely unable to solve with food, how would you solve it?
The alternative to eating emotionally is allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling without judgement. When you practice that you realize that you are capable of feeling any feeling. What is wrong with being sad? or stressed? Those are normal human emotions. But when we judge them as something going wrong, we use food to escape.
Have you finished the weightloss course? I would go back through the feeling the feels lesson + the urges lesson.
Your brain is presenting food as a solve. That makes sense. It's a well practiced pattern. So if you were absolutely unable to solve with food, how would you solve it?
The alternative to eating emotionally is allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling without judgement. When you practice that you realize that you are capable of feeling any feeling. What is wrong with being sad? or stressed? Those are normal human emotions. But when we judge them as something going wrong, we use food to escape.
Absolutely take into account the strength training. That always throws things off for me for a bit. But thats when I have to have the conversation that its very likely I am losing fat and gaining muscle. When ryan got his follow up dexa scan last year it showed that he had only lost 14 lbs but that was because he put on muscle and lost fat. Overall I think he lost 28 lbs of fat. The scale is not a good representation of fat loss. Stick it out.
I would revist your original post from before your honeymoon. Reexamine what you planned to do. Are you doing that? What you are feeling in your body could simply be more bloat and water retention than youre used to. It could be digestion related (mine always gets jacked on vacay).
You dont have to do anything drastic. Make a plan daily and while youre eating pay attention not to overeat. I dont want you ruining A TRIP IN PARIS with thinking that youve messed something up. Make sure to hydrate and give yourself credit for noticing what is happening you joined VC right before this trip so its probably not the easiest situation to learn hunger and fullness on your honeymoon. But as Becky said what happens on this trip does not determine your ability to be successful. As you have said, you are not going yolo mode. Celebrate that.
Enjoy yourself and your honeymoon!
I want to take a second to just acknowledge what you are noticing. It is so normal for your brain to offer this. It’s something you have done and practiced. You brain hears “vacation in two weeks” and says ok it’s go time to lose weight as fast as possible!
But you are noticing your diet thinking. And interrupting the pattern. Deciding not to crash diet leading up to the event and then deciding not to throw common sense eating out the window on your trip will create new evidence. And when we create new evidence we create a new identity!
If it worked in the past, you wouldn’t be here doing this work. I’m so glad to hear planning and following your plan is going so well. What if instead, you spent the next 2 weeks really honing in on hunger and fullness so that you are fully prepped to show up for yourself on your trip?
Really dig into that question “why can’t I just do what I plan?” What’s the answer? What are the obstacles standing in the way?
You’re doing the work and not every day will be easy. Not every day will be hard either.
You know what to do next ❤️ Make a plan and dust yourself off.
If your body isn’t hungry, you don’t want to eat because then it’s being over fueled. However if there is a snack you love, I would account for it at dinner but possibly eating less. But the real way to know if it is a problem is if you are planning it and eating it, is your weight still going down?
I would check out amazon for books on intuitive eating for kids! I am def not an expert at this. The changes I have made are having more nutrient dense snacks available, buying less processed snacks (but not eliminating them. they still have plenty of snacks) and not pushing that they finish their food. I also speak very openly about paying attention to how food makes you feel in your body so my 6 year old can start noticing and he def has!
It’s normal to feel like your kids are causing frustration but kids don’t cause feelings, thoughts do.
Spend sometime exploring the frustrating thoughts you had. They will come up again. What can you choose to think on purpose instead? TFD Will come in handy
You’re right, we can’t change how the kids behave. You can ONLY change how you respond. This is great news because it means you have the power!
The issue is that you would have had to sit with that frustration if you didn’t keep eating. It’s also worth exploring, what’s so bad about frustration? It’s a vibration in your body. What if you got really good at handling frustration without eating? Who would you be on the other side of that frustration? (knowing it will pass for sure)
You never need to start over! Just pick up exactly where you left off. And meet yourself where you’re at.
Revisit the weightloss course where I teach all the tools. Make a plan. Follow that plan and listen to hunger signals. That will obvs be a bit wonky for a bit while you’re recovering❤️ feel better soon!
Here’s the start here link!
Are you filling out curiosity worksheets each day? What are you finding out? What are the thoughts that drive the urges to eat off plan?
When I find that I am feeling all wonky for days in a row I really hone in on planning filling meals so I know I am managing physical hunger and I can rule out that it’s not a hunger issue. And then beyond that, I identify the thoughts that are screwing me. “It doesn’t matter” “it won’t hurt” “I’ll start over tomorrow”. And I sell myself on the opposite.
You’re talking yourself into eating off plan. How can you talk yourself into following the plan instead? Juicify that story.
You have a good story about being on the trip but your thoughts about the travel home arent as juicy..
"My downfall is the travel home"
"none of it matters once I see the candy and chips"
"I need massive amounts of sugar"
"just another chance to make an unhealthy decision"
Those are the thoughts I want you to look at. They are setting you up to not trust yourself in advance. So instead of your brain imagining success its imagining doing what you dont want to do.
Heres what I want you to question... does sugar and a big family size of jelly beans help you not be tired? Does it help you feel focused and great while youre driving? I know for me it would make me crash and get super fuzzy brained. Your brain is saying you will fall asleep or starve at the wheel, is that true? These are just thinking errors that if you evaluate you will see arent true. They are based off your old identity and what youve done in the past. But we are shifting that!
Why are you totally strong enough to follow your traveling home day plan? How would it feel to come back from your trip and post here and say "I DID IT! I followed my plan and I didnt believe the old story my brain gave me!"
What if instead you saw this as your opportunity to practice something new? What would you have to think instead to successfully follow your plan?