Ask Maggie

If you have a non-coaching or technical related question, please email hello@vibewithmaggie.com. The old ask Maggie page has been sunsetted, however you can still search the archive below.

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Search previously asked questions

Pre-Diabetes

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Hi Maggie, I made a comment on Vibe Club this week about moving from Keto to what is the right amount of carbs. And I know you can’t give medical advice. Where I’m having a problem is I am pre-diabetic and want to prevent this from moving on so I am having difficulty finding the right blend to have the carbs and not overdo the carbs so I get insulin spikes. It was interesting though that even on for keto, my hemoglobin A1c was not better,. I find myself having difficulty with the diet mentality, mixing in the medical and finding the right blend.

Maggie's Answer

You are going to have to continue to tinker with the right balance while working with a medical professional. The thing is that everything I teach in Vibe Club still applies. Food freedom is not progressing to diabetes. There is balance of carbs that can feel good in your body. Overeating is very unhelpful to prediabetes as well and very stressful on the body. Your plan will probably include certain types of food that support your condition. It is not diet mentality to eat in a way that improves your health. Your plan needs to take into account finding that balance which may include checking blood sugar etc (again something to talk to your MD about). The thought work I teach will also be of utmost importance. What you tell yourself will determine whether you give up or figure it out. The right blend is there, you just have to play around to find it. Treat all of this like you are a scientist. Be curious. Experiment and be compassionate with yourself as you do.

New thoughts when you have the desire to overeat

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I have become really aware of my thoughts when I have the desire to overeat, and usually my thoughts are "I just want to eat it", "I deserve this", "this will help me relax". I'm sure there are more versions of these, but those feel the most consistent. I'm proud to be recognizing these thoughts but I was wondering if you could share some examples of thoughts that I can redirect to, to avoid following through with the action of overeating.

Maggie's Answer

Thoughts are tricky to give to other people because they have to work for you based on your current thoughts. We want to try to ladder them up to something believable to you but that also feels better. Default thoughts aren't a problem, believing them is. I want you to challenge each one.

"I just want to eat it"- is that true? Is that what you want most? Does you tomorrow feel good about that choice?

New thought- I just want to eat it, and that makes sense because I have told myself that for a long time. But when I check in with myself that is not what I really want and this is my opportunity to tell myself the truth. What do I really want?

Use that same format with the other thoughts you listed.

New to Vibe Club

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Hi! I have a hard time following my plan and feeling my hunger and fullness cues. I have been in VC for 2 weeks and feel like such a loser because I have failed at times. What do you think?

Maggie's Answer

I think that you are exactly where you are supposed to be in the process. Your diet brain is lying to you that you are a loser because you cant do something you have never practiced after just 2 weeks. You are learning something new. How long would you give yourself to learn how to play the piano? Would you beat yourself up every time you played a note wrong? If you did, you would create a very frustrating experience. Your biggest work will be telling your diet brain to shut TF up and bring a compassionate conversation to a new process. Vibe Club is not another diet. Don't let your brain tell you that it is.

Planning

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Hi Maggie- Thanks for your content. I have struggled with body image issues for years along with perfectionist thinking- so I have that going for me:) As of recent I had a strength and macro coach and leaned out over COVID times and changed my body with lifting in ways I never had. Then my coach dumped me, in a good way, she basically told me you know what to do and I shouldn’t be paying her money. Of course I’ve gained the weight back (10-15lbs) and I want it back off. I’ve wanted to hire her back but also know I need long term plan. Going from specific macro tracking to this type of planning is really leaving me feeling lost and feeling like I’m also “eating off plan”. I’m finding my self planning some meals then leaving snacks and other meals open because I don’t want to set in stone what I’ll eat and if something looks good I just add that to plan which probably isn’t ideal. However this prevents me from beating myself up because I eat off plan. Also, I’ve not really lost any weight and per my usual thought patterns I beat myself up and want to do macro counting again because it works. So I guess the planning part is messing me up bc I need more rules maybe?? Hoping this chaos makes sense!!

Maggie's Answer

No it does make sense. The process I teach includes building a foundation via planning. If you keep weightloss as the primary main focus vs building the habits I teach here, Its going to backfire. It's easier to follow a laid out plan by someone else but it isn't an actual solution is the results don't last which sounds like the experience you had prior, along with not addressing the body image issues and perfectionist mentality.

What I teach helps you to develop trust in yourself vs a coach or meal plan or macro calculation and that takes willingness to face the brain drama head on. If you view VC as another diet, you will be disappointed and feel lost. Continuing to think "macro counting works" when it didn't actually work (sustainably/longterm) is going to affect the action you take here, so I would definitely explore that. If you desire more structure (rules), really go back through module one because the structure is there. I teach you to plan all meals for the day and then check in with your body before and during eating. And then through the evaluation you can get deeper into what is working and not working. Trust me on the building the foundation!

Can I be eating TOO little?

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Not sure where to start. Much as I have furiously been studying the HAES and Intuitive Eating principals for the past few years I STILL just want my body to be smaller. I am at my heaviest. I thought I would hop on 1 more diet (Optavia), quickly release the weight and then join VIBE club and work on my relationship with food. So here I am eating an average of just 1000 calories a day for the past 2 months and the weight is not falling off. Maybe I have released 5 pounds. I had to stop with the scale because it made me a momster (so I'm not sure what Ive lost at this point)! I'm so confused. Also I don't know how NOT to care about the size of my body. I never wanted to do that stupid plan to begin with but I felt I would use it as MY tool instead of a surgery or freaking shot that suppresses your appetite. None of this is sustainable. But HOW am I eating so little and not loosing fat?

Maggie's Answer

I understand your frustration. With diets like optavia that have you massively undereating, weight is bound to come off quickly and aggressively (but only if that is all that is being consumed). The issue I see with those diet though is that they create binge and overeating for most. So while people feel like they are eating 1000 calories for the time they are able to, the rubberband will break and overeating will compensate for the undereating which has people not losing weight. Unless you have tracked that you have eaten NOTHING but those meals for 2 months straight, I'm talking 60 days, then you are eating to maintain with any overeating you are doing. You can not eat 1000 calories a day and not lose weight. And if that is not the case, and you have eaten only those meals and have not deviated at all, I would see a medical professional.

Those things need to be addressed before the Vibe Club process can work. I don't coach on restrictive diets like optavia nor do I coach on calorie tracking. The focus on using short term fixes to lose weight before healing your relationship with food is rooted in that diet mentality.

Calorie Counting

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Hi! I have counted calories since 3 years back and my binge eating started through tracking (triggerd all or nothing). My biggest problem is that I focus on weekly calories which lead to compensate. How do I stop obsessing over calorie/ weekly calories? Thank you so much! Wish you all the best😊

Maggie's Answer

You have to get clear about if you are ready to stop counting. You have to get honest with yourself that it is harming you by driving binge eating. Your brain thinks that calorie counting gives you control when it actually makes you feel completely out of control. You have to be willing to release that false sense of control because its coming from a place of not trusting yourself. And learning to trust yourself requires building that trust slowly over time by listening to your body. Instead of focusing on NOT obsessing about calories, focus ON the process taught in this program. When your brain offers calorie counting, redirect it to the process of planning and tuning into your body. The more you interrupt that pattern, the weaker it will get and you will have built a new pattern of trust and peace around food.

I almost ordered plexus

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Maggie- I’m doing awful. I’ve been in vibe club since November and haven’t done much to help myself. I have zero motivation and feel stuck. I think about my goals constantly, make lists and really want it but haven’t given any real effort. I know you can’t gift that to me- I need to do it myself but damn girl- I got wrapped up in a plexus diet vitamin ad and had to snap myself out of it. I’m currently 5’6 249 lbs. my heaviest. I feel like shit. I’m on blood pressure meds, borderline diabetic, terrible acid reflux. I need to make a change for major health issues. I feel like I know the answer but I just can’t get moving. Halp. Jill

Maggie's Answer

I want you to ask yourself what thoughts you were having when you almost bough the plexus diet vitamins. What were you telling yourself? That it would be easy? That it would be a shortcut? I'm curious about how much time you spend thinking about the WHOLE process of however much weight you want to lose vs asking yourself what is one thing you can do TODAY. When you say you know the answer, what is it? There is a reason you can't get moving and I would need to ask you some questions to figure that out. If there is any possible way you can get coached on Friday, please submit to be coached. Until then, I want you to make a plan tomorrow and I want you to evaluate that plan. Thats all. The way to get unstuck is to move that ass. Once you get moving, its easier to get momentum. Don't give up and please get coached.

Is this allowed as part of the planning process?

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So today at work there was a birthday cake. I didn’t know that the cake was going to be at work so obviously I didn’t plan it. But I had an urge to have it and I feel like I dealt with the urge well because I didn’t resist it I just allowed it and told myself it wasn’t on the plan and I feel like it really worked. But I know there will be cake at work tomorrow. So it is okay to plan a slice and have it tomorrow? Or is that just giving in to the urge but in the future? I am not craving it or thinking about the cake like if I don’t have tbe cake tomorrow it will be fine. But can I plan it?

Maggie's Answer

Absolutely! You are handling it perfect. You told yourself its ok to want the cake but its not on the plan for today. Something that is great to add onto the end of that is "and I can put it on my plan for tomorrow." The goal is to not react to your urges and to make an intentional choice but giving yourself some space. Tomorrow, when you have your cake, eat it mindfully, pay attention to each bite, and stop when you've had enough. Enjoy it!

Bloating

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Sometimes when I eat something, even if not I've not overeaten, I feel and look bloated (think extended belly). Is this bad? Is this a reaction to something that I should be more curious about and what should I be asking myself?

Maggie's Answer

That is absolutely something to pay attention to. When it happens, review your daily plan. Try to make guesses with what it could be and what patterns you notice. There may be foods that you love that absolutely don't love you back. In that case, you probably don't want to plan those foods too often. If it feels serious, I would def consult with your primary care doctor to maybe look into food sensitivities.

Probiotics

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Hi Maggie, wondering if you have any recommendations for a probiotic. In order to be able to begin this, I need to get my gut in a healthier state. There are SO many out there it's overwhelming and my doctor is vague when I have asked her - totally understand if you do not have a recommendation.

Maggie's Answer

I don't have a specific recommendation for probiotics. I would just pick one and see how it works out for you. What I do want to add though, is that I promise it isn't your gut standing in the way or preventing you from getting started. I'm not saying it doesn't contribute but watch for your brain being tricky with not only getting A probiotic but also getting the RIGHT one. Don't let your brain get held up here.

Training yourself for breakfast hunger

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Hi Maggie, in your last podcast you talked about how you can train and prep yourself to be hungry for breakfast. Could you give a little more detail around this? When I get home from work at 5, I have an awkward break until 7 PM for my workout class so I usually have a protein packed snack before hand. I normally eat dinner pretty late (8:30ish) because I typically don't get hungry until then. I think this is why I am not super hungry for breakfast? Help!

Maggie's Answer

The way I did it was just starting to eat breakfast! It started as a very small breakfast. Then it got a little bigger and in time lunch shrank a little bit. But I think you may be right about how late you eat! You may just not get hungry until later in the morning. I stop eating around 6pm for the day and then eat breakfast at 7 next day. No need to force yourself to eat breakfast if it doest feel right. What time are you normally eating for your first meal? But to answer your question as directly as possible- I ate breakfast consistently.

Best way to use planner

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Hi Maggie, I’m based in Canada and I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to use the 60 day planner you’ve provided. I see you only ship in the USA? Do you know any programs that would allow me to edit a pdf? I tried printing it myself but it’s super expensive. Would love your thoughts.

Maggie's Answer

Here is a post from a Canadian Vibe Club member from Canada! "Staples printed the entire 60 day planner with clear plastic front and back cover and bound it for just shy of $40.00 - for anyone in Canada looking to print a planner."

Shipping to Canada was super pricey for me and took a really long time to get to people. So that seems like a comparable option! You can also use the app "good notes" to edit the PDF.

But we are phasing out the printed planner. Once they are sold out, I will not be doing a reprint. They will be available to clients to print or get printed, but I encourage you to use the app! Everything will be moving there in time. And you can get started with planning and evaluating asap! Additional worksheets can be printed from the planner page in your member portal.

External Pressure

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Hello! So I have a question, I would say about external pressure. A brief preface is I was adopted when I was 8 by my aunt is was extremely critical of my weight, what I was eating and how much I was eating from a small age. I wasn’t ever actually overweight, just more developed and it severely effected my perception of myself. I considered myself morbidly obese when in reality I was a size 8 or 9. Anyways, a lot of years of diets and thousands of dollars later. (With some weight loss here and there, weight gain and pregnancies) I have gained quite a bit of weight. I have also been into some intuitive eating IG accounts for a while and have learned so much about it, and now joining vibe club I have really finding acceptance in myself. I haven’t binged in a few weeks and feel really strong and happy to be on this journey. But I get a lot of pressure from others and talked down to A LOT. It’s crazy because I still consider myself fairly averaged sized, maybe plus sized but I am shocked at the amount of people who think it’s okay to comment on my body. I will be referred to as a “big girl” or asked “hey you tried this diet? Maybe it would be good for you.” Or I have a family member had even bought me some clothes they were too large for me and I just thought man she really sees me as super big. I don’t know how to handle it or let it effect me. It’s always unprompted and is very hurtful. I need advice on what to say (I lead with love and won’t ever tell anyone to eff off lol) and also not internalize it. It’s hindering to me process. Thank you so much!

Maggie's Answer

What other people say would be considered a circumstance. The Think Feel Do lesson talks briefly about this. It is the fact. So, for example, someone says the words "hey have you tried this diet? Maybe it would be good for you." (we cant change what people say). But the power of what happens next is in your control. What are you currently making it mean when you hear a comment like that? One thought you have is "man she sees me as super big". How does that thought feel for you? The current thinking you have is feeling hurtful for you. The way you dont internalize it is you make it mean something that wont be hurtful. You cant control other peoples opinions or the shit they send out your mouth. But you can choose what you will think and if you will do or say anything to them.  You can always say something like "I would appreciate if you dont make comments about my body." You can change the subject.  Does showing up for yourself include asking them to stop? Telling them that was rude? Letting them know it hurt your feelings? But most important is that you have your own back. What is the conversation you will have with YOU after people make those comments. What do you need to hear in those moments to remember you are completely whole and worthy. Are you willing to let people be wrong about you?

How to respond to my GI specialist who is always (not-so-gently) reminding me to eat healthfully, exercise, and continue working on weight loss...

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I have a GI doc whom I see a couple of times a year. At every visit, he is very clearly (in words and tone) reminding me to do all the things I need to do to lose more weight. I get that this is part of his job. Absolutely. But, this is more than just a quick reminder. And, he's done it when I was at my goal weight, too. I'm about 15 pounds above my desired weight of 145. For reference, this is slightly above a healthy BMI for my 5'3" height, but I've been as high as 240, so I'm thrilled with 160 let alone 145. I'm due to see him soon, and I'm dreading it. He just rubs me the wrong way. My lipids and hemoglobin A1C are great. My vitals are healthy. I'm healthy. I don't have fatty liver disease (part of the reason I was referred to him and he ruled it out). How do I work on my mindset about this??? I'm not really losing weight right now. I'm more or less maintaining as I am working on healing my relationship with food and learning to maintain my weight without MFP. I've been a member since 12/16/22. My brain keeps trying to tell me that I should shift into restriction mode to get some weight off so I can show him progress, but I know that's not healthy for my brain or my body. And, I'm confident it would set me back in terms of quieting the diet mentality thoughts that I'm working on reducing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Maggie's Answer

(FYI this is not medical advice)

I love this question because you have so much power here. It would be easy to want the doctor to be different, but let's go ahead and assume that he's going to be the exact same way he always is. He's going to give you all the ways you could lose some weight and he's going to focus a solid amount of time on it. You are feeling dread, why? What is it that you are telling yourself about the words he says to you? What do you make his words mean about you? You have all the power with choosing what you are going to think and it seems like you have a great story about that. "I'm healthy", tests are good, you're feeling good. Can you allow him to give his feedback as a doctor and know that you get to make it mean whatever you want. "Its part of his job, he's trying to be helpful, hes making suggestions and I get to decide what I do with those suggestions if anything." You get to respond however feels best to you. And you also get to choose a meaning about the appointment that leaves you feeling empowered instead of dreadful and rubbed the wrong way. I hope the appointment goes well for you!!

Hunger Cues

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Hi Maggie, So I started Vibe Club at the beginning of February and so far the process has been going interestingly-- I'm learning a lot about myself, but I'm having some troubles with understanding my hunger cues. I feel dumb asking about it, because I feel like it's kind of obvious that when you're stomach growls that's a cue. But I was wondering if there are cues to look out for that come before the stomach growling. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not hungry at all and then like 10 minutes later my stomach growls and I'm ravenous. I think it makes it harder to stop the urges and thoughts to overeat. I also find myself thinking that I should eat something for breakfast, because while my stomach isn't growling, I know I haven't eaten anything for more than 8 hours and I should be hungry, but I'm so unsure of if my body is actually hungry-- so then I feel like I should eat, but then I worry that I'm eating when I shouldn't be. I may be overthinking this, but I hope that makes sense. Thanks! Kaysee

Maggie's Answer

Overthinking it is normal, you are trying to learn something new. So this is not a dumb question! This process is a lot of trial and error.

Here is a resource that will help! It is a cheat sheet with all different potential signs.

https://uploads-ssl.webflow.com/5f6d4c179b4e532689cf344c/631a1114a4f10e6ea984d8a9_Hunger%20Cheat%20Sheet%20PDF.pdf

For some, the growling is a sign that you're actually too hungry. You can re-train you body's hunger cues if you start eating breakfast again. I was able to do that and it dramatically decreased nighttime eating. I would explore that first and see how it goes and explore that cheat sheet to see if any of it resonates while you listen and learn your body's unique signals.

Working out

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Ok so…I’m working out and have a few questions as I’m new to this. Today I waited till I was hungry which was around 11:30am, then I was a little hungry before working out had a little snack, then protein shake after working out. Then I really wasn’t hungry for dinner. So my question is do I eat dinner even though I’m not hungry?

Maggie's Answer

For the most part the body is going to balance itself out. So if you skip dinner or undereat on one day, its not abnormal to be starving the next day. If all you have is a little snack and protein shake all day, I would consider that not enough fuel for the day. Do you have a history of ignoring or overriding your hunger signals? If so, you may have to train your body a bit to eat consistently. I would probably still have a small dinner if I barely ate anything throughout the rest of the day.

Fat loss vs maintenance

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Hey Maggie! Newbie here. Very excited about is lifestyle change and healthy work towards food acceptance. But one question I had was what is the difference between doing this for fat loss and doing this for maintenance? As I begin my final fat loss journey of which is so crazy to say, I understand this is a total lifestyle of thinking and will continue after the fat loss but what changes or mind set come after I get to a place of happy fat loss for myself?

Maggie's Answer

The main focus in Vibe Club is emotional overeating. Focusing on the times you are eating but you aren't actually hungry and when you are eating past the point when your body has had enough. Consistent planning and data tracking helps you identify if/when there is a need to eat less. If I wanted to lose weight vs maintain, I would have to plan and eat less food. I rarely had to plan less food as I lost weight. My extra weight was due to all the emotional eating and eating beyond my plan. But since you are just starting, really focus on the emotional eating you are doing! Its going to be a new skillset and once you get to maintenance you just continue listening to your body! It becomes second nature and not something you have to really focus on once you have built that trust with your body.

Membership

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I became a member for approx. 10 days ago, I saw on my account that a lot more was withdrawn than I understood. It said 160 dollars - but 210 dollars was withdrawn. I can't afford to invest that much in a course right now, then I can't afford my fixed expenses. I think it was misled - when it said $160, so I want to cancel and get my money back. Thanks in advance!

Maggie's Answer

This form is anonymous so I am not able to see your name or your info to contact you directly. If you go to Vibewithmaggie.com you will see that the total to join is $199. Its $160 join fee and your first month of $39. This is of course in USD so it may be more if you do not reside in the United States due to exchange rates. To help you further, please email hello@vibewithmaggie.com.

Failure

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Hey there Maggie, I’m new here, started like 2 days ago lol But I wanted to ask how do you kick start the feeling of being a failure in the past so I can use this plan differently

Maggie's Answer

This is so normal. But I want you to let that be the first thought you question. Were you really a failure in the past? Or were you just not set up to succeed? Or were you managing a lot mentally? If you didn't "fail" in the past, what else could be true? I like to believe, "I'm learning. I'm doing this in a different way. For the first time ever, I am going to start listening to and honoring my body instead of overriding it." Every day is a chance to feel successful in SOME WAY, you just have to direct your brain to see it.

There was a good coaching call around this same thing December 29th that I think would be super helpful for you. Its the first woman I coached, so I would check that out!

Body Image

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Hi Maggie. I've been here less than a week and some pretty interesting things have come to the surface already. I discovered today that I have a LOT of painful anxiety around getting ready in the morning. I have found myself even putting off taking a shower, so I don't have to look at myself in the mirror. My brain is saying, "OMG, look at your belly, look at those hips and thighs. You are so weak and lazy". When I do finally get my clothes on, my brain still says, "I know you can still feel that belly roll, look at your rear....you are ugly and disgusting." I feel myself wanting to go back to my old restrictive diet rules (which have caused me to loose and gain and loose and gain for my entire adult life - I'm 64) JUST to get a few pounds off, so that my brain will stop talking and let me do the "real work". I don't know how to turn off this conversation. Just writing about it makes my heart beat fast and my chest and throat hurt. This is only one of my problems, but it is an all day inner dialogue. Then I want to go eat, just to feel calm for a little while, which, as I learned from you, only makes two problems out of one. Making a plan and following a plan is great and I'm working on doing that, but I don't see how it helps with this immediate problem. What advice do you have to make it stop? TYIA.

Maggie's Answer

You are hearing an old voice and I want you to start identifying it as that. It could be a voice you developed growing up or the way someone else spoke to you but it isn't YOU, its default thinking. I cant't offer advice to make it stop because when that conversation has been practiced over so many years, it becomes habit. But you can definitely turn the volume down on it and shift away from it so its not the default anymore. It takes time.

You don't need to jump from that conversation to a conversation of love and adoration from your body. But I'm wondering if you can bring in some neutrality to your thinking?  Your brain says "omg look at your belly, look at those hips and thighs, you're so weak and lazy." You can notice those thoughts and respond " Yes I have a body with a stomach and hips and thighs. I am strong and I have been through a lot. I am learning a new way to talk to myself. And I am becoming someone who doesn't participate in talking about my body like this." What would supporting yourself look like in that moment? What would you tell someone you love immensely who was struggling with the same thing? Getting a few lbs off will not change that conversation, this IS the real work.

I want you to really pay attention to the bonus podcast on Monday Feb 13th because it is an overview about nervous system dysregulation. When you described how you feel in your body it sounds like fight or flight energy to me. Your system is getting triggered and introducing some exercises to help signal safety to your brain will help you have a new conversation and drive new action that isn't eating to feel calm.

Protein Tracking

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Hi Maggie! I'm new and want to cancel my MyFitnessPal. I downloaded it only a few months ago because my hair stylist noticed my hair thinning a little and recommended getting more protein in my diet. She uses a formula of your ideal body weight divided in half to equal the number of grams you should get. Before joining the program, I started tracking my protein, immediately realized I wasn't eating that much, started eating more, and my hair has improved, I feel more energized, etc. Now though that I've joined the program, I want to stop tracking in MyFitnessPal (or tracking much in general), but I'm concerned about how to make sure my protein stays up/is adequate and it's hard to use indicators like my hair because that changes so gradually over such a long period time. I keep hearing you talk about listening to your body to decide what you need/is enough - is it that simple for protein? How can I refocus here to make sure I get enough protein, but also ease up on/remove the tracking? Thank you!

Maggie's Answer

Use what you learned from adding more protein! I try, as much as possible to prioritize protein at all my meal and snacks. It helps so much with satiation and feeling my best. I know Im not getting enough protein when I get hungry pretty fast. When you make your daily plan, prioritize protein! Our brain says we need to focus on exact grams and track it all and eat so much, but most of us do well to increase it by making it the main focus we plan our meals around. So yes, I do let my body decide what I need is enough. And when your hair was thinning, that was your body telling you it wasn't enough. So I would keep planning your meals similar to how you have been but that doesn't require tracking.

Help with new thoughts

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I’m new to Vibe Club but not new to mindfulness approaches to weight loss. A few years ago, I lost 30 pounds changing my thoughts and using the think feel do model. In the last few months, I’ve been gaining weight and seem to be struggling in the 5th Stage of Progress. I know what my triggers are and know the thoughts I should be thinking when they happen. For example, when my kids spontaneously decided to bake cookies this afternoon, I knew that I was going to want the cookies and told myself (before they even started baking) that I wasn’t going to eat any of them today because they weren’t on my plan but that I could add them to my plan for tomorrow. But lately, I find myself thinking that “correct” thought (which was helpful for me for years) but then overriding it and eating the cookies anyway. And then I feel guilty and discouraged and end up bingeing on the cookies, almost like I’m punishing myself for eating 2 cookies by making myself eat 10 of them. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m overriding the helpful thoughts and resisting (and then giving into) urges more frequently lately. I think the urge resistance is probably coming from fear about regaining all of the weight that I’ve lost and not trusting myself like I used to. There’s probably some shame mixed in, too, since I’ve worked so hard on this process in the past but am struggling with it again. (I also know that’s not a helpful thought!) I’d appreciate advice about new thoughts that might help me work towards my goals and re-establish my faith in myself.

Maggie's Answer

It seems like you are thinking the "right" thoughts but they aren't creating an emotion that leads to following through with your plan. I think even after you have that thought, another thought is coming up that is more appealing and negotiating for the overeating instead. Can you identify what those thoughts are? Not the right ones, the ones that are taking the right ones place? If you have doubt because you are regaining your weight and are believing more and more that you cant trust yourself, that will drive eating off plan and overeating as well. What if the right thoughts that worked before aren't the right thoughts for now? What would you need to think to create trust and follow though instead of doubt and distrust? I love the thought "I have done it before, and I can absolutely do it again." Don't resist whats happening right now. Really lean into it because there is def something here. "i've worked so hard on this process but I'm struggling again" that thought creates shame and shame drives overeating. You did work hard in the past and you were successful. Circumstances have changed now but use it as a reason to figure it out vs a reason to shame yourself for being a human who is struggling. Compassion and curiosity! Removing the thoughts creating shame while working with building the trust will be the ticket here.

Eating before bed

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I feel like I do so well until around 7pm. I have my dinner, and then for the next 4 hours before bed, food is in the back of my mind. I also tend to wake up in the middle of the night and eat, regardless of hunger levels. Any tips?

Maggie's Answer

I answered this on the Q+A kickoff on February 1st. I know you were on that call but I would also encourage you to listen to the replay. I would love to hear the strategies you are going to try for interrupting the middle of the night eating habit. Post in the FB group if you are in there!

Scale

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Should I bring the scale back after not using it for about 2 years I wonder if the data would be helpful…both for reflecting an objective piece of data & for helping me maintain where I am at…

Maggie's Answer

What if there isn't a right answer here? What do you think the longterm looks like for you with the scale? Does your future self weigh herself? If so, How often? This isn't a permanent decision. If you brought back the scale and changed your mind, you could put it away again. I would just check in with your reasons. Are they driven by curiosity? Or a lack of self trust? Or something else? Make the choice that feels the most empowering for you.

releasing the diet mindset is so scary...

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Hey Maggie! I'm Candace and I'm new here as of last week. I've been tracking macros since 2015 and tracking calories since 2011. During 2015-2021, I competed in weight-class strength sports and that obviously reinforced diet behavior for a long time. My problem now is that I am interested in cutting down a tiny bit (~10lbs) just for overall health and comfort, but I really want to intermittent fast as that allows me to more easily stick to a deficit. There's just less chance of overeating if I don't allow myself to eat until later in the day. Is that too much of a diet mindset still? Is this something I can slowly step away from? Can this be part of my protocol? I'm still going through the modules btw, so very much so a noob at this point. Love your content! Hoping to step away from tracking eventually. I think eventually with this program, I may also no longer find the need to intermittent fast as well. It's just all so freaking scary to let go of these things!!

Maggie's Answer

What I want to offer here is ask yourself "Am I doing this because I dont trust myself?" Honor the feelings you have that it is scary to let go of what you know. But also ask yourself if what you know is working for you. I found with myself and many clients that IF drove overeating and bingeing. It felt like I had more control but that was a lie I was telling myself. Does IF cause you to ignore hunger signals? If so, that will stand in the way of learning how to truly honor your body. There isn't a right/wrong here. There is just exploring your reason for your choice. Does it serve you? Do you want to spend more time practicing IF when your ultimate goal is to trust yourself and not use it in the future? If so, you are delaying the inevitable. We don't focus on deficits or calories in Vibe Club mainly because the way I help you lose weight is by reducing emotional overeating and reconnecting to your body instead of outsourcing to apps to tell you when to stop eating. The best advice I can give to you as a noob is to not view everything I teach through a dieting lens. Thats a surefire way to slow things way down. I am so glad you are here! Give yourself time to learn and practice and I promise it gets much less scary.

Follow up to last qa call- plans

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Creating place and how specific you are. Maggie mentions for some it’s as simple as carb, fat, and protein. Is that really how easy this is? Being super specific hasn’t been working for me. But in every meal I try for all 3 macro nutrients and for snacks I try for 2. Can you elaborate

Maggie's Answer

This is something I want you to play around with. If being super specific hasn't been working, explore why. Do you like what is on your plan? If you are changing things constantly, why? Just get curious. For some, the specificity is helpful, for others, broad works. Ultimately not overeating is the goal you are after and so craft your plan in a way that supports that outcome for you. For me, specificity was helpful for a very long time. Now I am still pretty specific, but if I'm not, it doesn't mean I overeat. I use planning specifics more for how it helps me prep for the day and make less decisions all throughout the day. If protein, carb and fat is enough for your brain then go for it!

Time of month

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How do you work through the emotions of PMS? This includes feeling like complete crap for almost 2 weeks and not wanting to follow plan or working out. The emotions can include depression, fatigue, pain, etc. This is not always the same symptoms and some months are a bit better but this month I just feel like a failure and defeated because of my period!!! Feeling frustrated and want to learn to cope with the hard months vs the easier ones. BTW these emotions do tend to also want me to eat comfort foods but for the win I did choose foods that were comforting and being able to still stop at enough - BIG WIN =)

Maggie's Answer

I relate completely to this. I feel like a different human between the first and second half of my cycle. You need to adjust you plan and workouts for those times. I am prepared for the worst but plan for the best case scenario- but the best case is I am going to be tired, I am going to turn inward, I am going to be more all over the place mentally... and thats ok. The biggest shift I made was accepting it, then I didn't have to eat over it. You need to make a plan that is doable and realistic for those 2 weeks. It could be your "luteal phase protocol". It will take time to create. I am finding that limiting sugar is helpful for me (not eliminating, but reducing) I also don't push nearly as hard in the gym. I take advantage of my added energy and strength during the first half of my cycle though. The goal remains the same- focus on honoring hunger and stopping at enough and it doesn't have to derail you at all. Ultimately, its not expecting your capability to be the same every day of the month. Its accepting that this IS what your energy does. And its creating a gameplan overtime that gives you what you actually need during that phase of the cycle. But what you do may be different than what I do. I highly recommend the book "period power" by maisie hill. She goes so in depth into each phase and what to expect and how to support.

Eating breakfast too early

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Hi Maggie! I usually go to bed around 9 and pop up at 4. I am working on staying in bed later bc I know my body could use more sleep, but my rhythm is off. When I wake up I immediately both want to eat & I do eat! Ha! I have a balanced breakfast of eggs & some form of fiber containing carb. I’ve learned that’s a great combo. Three hours later I have a snack with protein & carbs, (but I’m thinking it would feel okay to wait a bit longer to eat that snack) though not too much longer in order to avoid getting overly hungry. I like my daily rhythm except I find myself wishing that: 1. I would wait until after coffee to have breakfast so I wasn’t eating SO early & was more on everyone else’s lunch schedule (I make dinner time work whenever others are eating but I usually want lunch by 11) 2. I wasn’t so primed to want food right when I wake up. Sleeping later is something that ebbs & flows for me…but that’s would be ideal, ha! Even if I go to bed later I’m up same time. 🤪 My question is …should I keep doing breakfast right away or plan to eat it maybe 30 mins after coffee? Btw, I add collagen powder to my coffee so it’s got 18 g of protein in it:). I’ve heard coffee on an empty stomach isn’t great (though my stomach is steel, ha). Also, does coffee on an empty stomach help with getting digestion rolling…that’s maybe a medical question! Answer whatever part you feel is relevant :)! Thankful to have found you!

Maggie's Answer

I would try both ways. So much of what I'm seeing lately indicates that its actually better to eat before coffee! You could also try waking up and hydrating and see how your body reacts. Its normal to be mildly dehydrated upon waking up and that could possibly help to push that meal out. But remember to honor your hunger. Don't be afraid to play around with what works best for you. There isn't a "right" choice, there is just a choice that works based on your preferences and the schedule of your day.

Coaching

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Do you have a private coaching program??? Thank you

Maggie's Answer

I do not currently do any 1:1 coaching. I love the group coaching model and how many people can benefit from both submitting to be coached and how many can benefit from observing the coaching. If I ever open up 1:1 coaching spots, VC would be first to know, however I don't have that intention at the moment.

Eating when hungry

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Hi Maggie, I just joined vibe club and absolutely loving all the info and it really resonates. My one conundrum and I’m sure it’s not unique is that I have a very busy and demanding job and sometimes I don’t have time to eat for many hours. My question is, if I’m only to eat when hungry, what should I do if I’m not hungry when I have time to eat (I.e early morning) but know that I won’t be able to eat when I do get hungry? I plan snacks etc when I can but usually I’m in meetings where I’m the speaker and go between meetings back to back to back so really can’t be chewing at all during those times. I find myself so hungry after that I eat everything in sight and make myself sick or just eat foods that don’t feel good. How do I deal with this? Thank you!

Maggie's Answer

This is one of those scenarios where you have to just do your best and plan in advance when you can. There are times where I know I will have calls or appts and wont be able to eat when I normally get hungry. In those times, I eat before I'm hungry. The only thing it really affects is when I get hungry again or maybe the size of my next meal. I would probably start eating early morning. You will retrain your hunger signals to present themselves at that time after a while of doing that. Underfueling and getting hangry absolutely will drive overeating later. So really ask yourself, how can I really do my best to give my body consistent energy? Where can I find 5 minutes to eat a satiating snack during my schedule? And then your main focus will be not eating past enough,

Incorporating exercise

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How do you recommend incorporating more movement and exercise? I haven’t been able to find exercise I enjoy.

Maggie's Answer

I recommend incorporating it only for mental health/physical health reasons, but not for weightloss reasons. In fact, I encourage your mental energy to be spent focusing on reducing overeating instead of exercise. Its not something I would force. An easy place to start is just walking. It is amazing for your health and heart. I make it more enjoyable by blasting music, some people love a good podcast. How can you combine it with things that would make it more enjoyable? Use it to compliment what we do here in Vibe Club but not as a main focus for weightloss.

Weight training with hand weights

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Do you have any tips on workouts with hand dumbbells?

Maggie's Answer

Yes, search for workouts that use progressive overload with compound movements. I love having an adjustable dumbell set. Make sure you have rest days. I love lifting 3x a week. Submit another ask maggie if there are any other specific questions. Or post in fb or on a Q+A.

Whole30 VIBE

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I did my first Whole 30 about 5 years ago. I've never really lost much weight on the program but loved how it maked me feel and i gravitate towards those food in general now. It really helped me learn how to cook and basically eat healthier. However, you can (and i do) overeat healthy food so I've never been able to lose the 20-25lbs i need/want to. I am really enjoying Vibe Club and 100% believe this is the only way to lose weight and sustain it. That being said, I usually do a strict round of Whole 30 in January and September each year. Not necessarily to lose weight but to feel my best. How can i mesh Whole 30 and ViBe?

Maggie's Answer

The way you will lose the last 20-25 lbs is be reducing the overeating you are currently doing. I think a "strict round of whole 30" could very easily have rebound effects once it ends. What if you didn't need a strict round? What if your protocol can just utilize a lot of those foods that make you feel really good? The way you mesh the two is by eating foods that make you feel good, being realistic with a doable plan and then honoring your hunger and enough signals. I would just explore if you love your reasons for that commitment. What will determine the weightloss is if you stop overeating so make that your focus.

Stopping the club

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Can you let me know how to cancel the membership? Thank you

Maggie's Answer

To cancel your membership you can login to your member portal at vibewithmaggie.com. You will click "your account" and then "view or cancel plans" to cancel your membership.

EMDR Therapy

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Can you pls tell me a little More about your experience with EMDR? I googled it but curious how it worked for you. I’m considering it for myself. Thank you

Maggie's Answer

I used EMDR therapy to process childhood trauma that was having an effect on my nervous system now as an adult. It is a therapy that allows you to process trauma while stimulating both sides of your brain so that it essentially gets the trauma unstuck and allows it to move through. It helped me to remove the emotional charge from those memories. It took about 5 months before seeing major results. I highly recommend it as a therapy as someone who tried nearly everything to deal with my anxiety in my life. That anxiety was due to underlying trauma. Hope that helps!

Identifying what enough feels like

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I'm struggling with identifying what enough feels like, so I'm under-eating. I have snacks built into my plan, so this hasn't lead to me eating off-plan. However it is a frustrating process when I'm constantly asking myself "have I had enough" and not knowing what the answer is. Any suggestions?

Maggie's Answer

So you have identified that you are not eating enough. I want to challenge you on not knowing what the answer to "have I had enough" is. It's leading to feeling frustrated when the answer is "no I haven't had enough." Finding enough will include many times of eating shy of enough and eating past enough. You want to learn what your signals for enough are. Are you familiar with any signs that you have had enough? Revisit the lesson "have you had enough?" and check out the cheat sheet below. This will help you identify some specific signals to look for. Lean on patience vs frustration. You can figure it out! But frustration is one of those emotions that causes us to quit. If you are frequently hungry after meals, you may be eating to neutral. If you know you are undereating, your focus should be eating more. Eat more and then pay attention to the signs from the cheat sheet below. https://uploads-

ssl.webflow.com/5f6d4c179b4e532689cf344c/631a1114a4f10e6ea984d8a9_Hunger%20Cheat%20Sheet%20PDF.pdf

Allowance vs delaying gratification

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I allow myself to have a few delicious chocolates most days. I’m struggling a bit with the idea of allowing myself to have them and putting them on my plan, but then thinking about them all day until I get to have them. Today I had them early because I just wanted them, and now I’m feeling like I will be tempted to have even more because I should have waited and savored it. I don’t want to eliminate them but I also know I can’t just eat chocolates all day. Nor do I want to be thinking about them all day, that’s obviously not healthy. What’s the right balance? To where I’m taking care of myself, getting pleasurable treats, and also not having to make them so important

Maggie's Answer

The struggle that you are having allowing yourself to have them and actually planning them is putting them on a pedestal. It is not on an even playing field with all food and kind of has a forbidden vibe. That increases desire. If you are tempted to have even more, and you do, that is a choice you are making and not something that happens just because you ate the food earlier. More desire is being created because you are telling yourself you should have waited and savored it which feels unfair. Get clear on how you want to eat those chocolates. Its ok for your brain to say "we want them now" and to have a conversation at that point. "no, we don't want them now. We like eating them later in the day when we can really be present with the experience and then move on." You sold yourself this time on eating them early, how do you sell yourself next time on eating them in the way that serves you best? Take that to your journaling and get clear on it so "i want them" doesn't win the convo next time.

Weight training

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Hello Maggie, I just joined vibe club and I have a question about weight training, I absolutely love going to the gym for my mental heath. It has increased my muscle mass dramatically, but if I want to see the scale change should continue? I find it hard to lose weight while going to the gym. What would you suggest ?

Maggie's Answer

I love that you enjoy it for your mental health and that your body comp is changing. The scale changing will be determined by how much you eat. Since you are new to this process, I would give yourself time to practice and collect data so you can see how often you are overeating and start there. Also keep in mind that the type of workouts you do could increase hunger, so pay attention to that as well. It was normal for me to see a bit of a stall in weightloss for 2 weeks ish when I started a new workout routine. Collect a month of data and then go from there. Welcome to Vibe Club!

Black Friday

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Hello I joined on Black Friday before I saw the discount code, is there anyway I can the 50$ off?

Maggie's Answer

This form is anonymous so I am unable to email you (because I don't have your name). I emailed new members who joined on Black Friday. Check your spam email box to see if you have an email from hello@vibewithmaggie.com. If you don't, please email hello@vibewithmaggie.com and we will help you out!

Meal Plan

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Hi Maggie! I just listened to your 10/12/22 coaching call with Molly. I to have trouble during the weekends and feeling like I can eat all the food I don't eat during the week. The foods I eat during the weekend honestly make me feel like shit. lol I always get super puffy from them and irritable( even if I have a small amount). I have food allergies to corn, cheese, wheat, msg) I have that mentality of phew finally I can relax and unwind with the fun foods I like. If I don't eat foods I like over the weekend come Monday, I feel like I've missed out and couldn't truly unwind. It's so annoying and I'm in this stupidass loop. How can I make a plan I enjoy over the weekend and let go of the foods that don't love me back? Thanks again! :)

Maggie's Answer

I want you to question whether it is relaxing and helping you unwind to eat foods that make you feel like shit. There are two options here: don't eat the foods that make you feel like shit and are allergic to and explain to yourself that its an act of love because you care how you feel. Or you can plan to eat those foods sometimes but explain to yourself that there will be effects with how it makes you feel (this is also a completely fine option).

Also the thought "if I don't eat the foods I like over the weekend come Monday, I feel like I've missed out and couldn't truly unwind". Explore that in your journaling. What would you be missing out on? You have to stop telling yourself it helps you unwind to eat food that makes you swell up and get irritable. Is there a way to create balance? Have you tried truly eating small amounts without overeating? The way you can actually enjoy the weekend is by planning in a way that makes you feel good. You have to determine how much leeway you have there.

Calorie-tracking addict

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Good morning! I'm on day three of following my plan, so this is all very much fueled by anxious diet brain. For the longest time I've been a calorie tracker: I would aim to stay within a certain range, or check my calories burned throughout the day to see if I could justify more food in the evenings, which would usually result in my taking in just under my calories burned, or I'd say f it and go way over maintenance. To give myself an edge, a few months ago I invested in a walking pad/standing desk. For months I've been walking the entirety of my 8hr work days and it really racked up my calorie burn. However, it didn't solve for my calorie-budget mindset and I found myself still eating close to, at, and sometimes over my burned calories. Same problem, just with a higher "allotment" of calories. This morning I was checking my steps from yesterday and came across my calorie burn, which then prompted me to retroactively calculate the calories I'd eaten. I had made a plan and crushed it yesterday, but in hindsight I'm thinking I was likely in a calorie surplus. My questions is: when is a good timeline to start reducing portions or a protocol? I feel like a tracking addict and my brain is having trouble ditching the calculating when building my daily plan.

Maggie's Answer

I think we need to address your calorie budget mindset before we can really tell what is and isn’t working in regards to portion size. I know you’re eager to see results— but doing this up front work is in your best interest in losing weight and keeping it off forever.

Let’s get rid of your calorie tracking device/apps, or find a way to hide the calorie burn (my oura ring has that option). If you're using the walking pad to earn food or burn food, I would consider not using that for the time being. It's so important to not treat the process I teach like a diet. I want you to focus more on how you made a plan and crushed it.

I don't want you to reduce portions at all until you are able to break the focus on calories and make the shift of listening to what your body is telling you through cues vs what your brain is telling you about calories. You will have to challenge your brain every time it wants to mentally track as you plan and eat and move your body because you have been practicing the habit of excessive focus on calories. What I am teaching you is a completely different skillset, it will take time and practice to learn it but I know you can do it!

Balancing family dinner and listening to hunger queues

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Hi! I’m curious to know how I can find a happy medium between listening to my own hunger queues when I also want to eat dinner with the rest of my family.

Maggie's Answer

It will just be a balance of learning how to make sure you are good and hungry by dinner, but not too hungry. When it comes to listening to your own hunger cues when eating with your family, stopping at enough will be most important. Does your family have a certain time of day that they eat dinner? Are you not normally hungry at that time? You may be eating too close to when dinner is. This will come with practice and experimenting. If you have more questions or details around this, post in the FB group, get coached or submit your question for the next q+a!

Weighing/measuring as a trigger

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As I have been working through disordered eating, weighing and measuring is currently too much for me and is often a hinderance to my progress rather than a motivator. Can I work through my planner and reach my goals while momentarily holding off on weighing and measuring? can my goals be weight loss without the numbers attached in the beginning?

Maggie's Answer

Absolutely work through the planner without focusing on weighing and measurements. Weight loss comes from learning and practicing the tools and for some, the scale is not helpful in the beginning or maybe ever. And you can trust that if it feels right for you!

Avoiding sugar

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I am wondering how you have been able to have a lower sugar diet without it leading to binges. I feel like I could benefit from giving myself a period of time with no sugar to see if it helps to alleviate some issues I have been having, but I’m afraid of the restriction because I know what it leads to. I have actually tried a few times and sort of ended up binging. I don’t know how to get the difference between health and diet mentality to sink in

Maggie's Answer

Lowering sugar doesn't lead to binges, our thoughts about lowering sugar does. So it's one thing to reduce sugar because you are afraid it will make you fat or that you can't lose weight while eating sugar (both are diet thoughts), reducing sugar for health reasons is a different perspective. I'm not saying that your brain won't interpret the change the same way but that is just because of your dieting history. But having the thought "I am going to try a gentle reduction of sugar to see if it helps to alleviate some issues I have been having" is not diet mentality. In order to not have it lead to binges, you will have to remind yourself of that. And that you aren't "taking sugar away", you are experimenting for health reasons.

Getting started

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If you just joined and went through the course quickly, I would go back to module 1. Focus on planning to start. There are great threads in the FB group about planning while traveling or when you don't know what the plan will be, I would check those out if you can because there is a lot of great advice. When you go out of town, be realistic with the things you can plan and be flexible with the things you can. You are just starting this process so there is a lot to learn. A great thing to practice when you dont have much control over the what/where/or when is listening to your body. Ask yourself if you are physically hungry before you eat and pay attention while you eat so you stop at enough. You're feeling lost because you're telling yourself you don't know where to start, but you do! Start with planning and then start learning your hunger and enough cues. Don't put pressure on yourself to be perfect.

Maggie's Answer

I’ve listened to a lot of your podcasts and finally decided to join Vibe! I’ve gone through the course, ordered my planner and not sure where to start. Should I just start planning? I am going out of town this weekend and I have no idea what, where or when we will be eating. I just feel a little lost. I am sure getting my planner will help.

PMS

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How do you work through pms cravings? I tend to have them really bad both because of pms but also I have intense anxiety during that window of my cycle

Maggie's Answer

I recommend having an alternate protocol for your period if that is something you struggle with. But also remember that food won't solve for anxiety or hormones. So I suggest having a good combo of a realistic period protocol and including ways of self care that will help with anxiety, moodiness, brain fog etc. Do you need to eat a bit more during that time of the month? Planning an extra treat? Really ask your body what it needs. Awareness that this is an obstacle for you is the first step, and choosing what you will think about it is the second step. I totally relate to this and have struggled in the days leading up to my period. Some changes I have made are reducing sugar and caffeine, staying hydrated with electrolytes and not overcommitting. I know my energy will come back and my anxiety will go back down after this period but I am so gentle with myself during the challenging part. Start playing around with a protocol for your period and evaluate and adjust moving forward.

Stopping at enough

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How is it possible to lose weight if I am eating to enough? Wouldn’t this just keep me at my weight maintenance? If I listen to my body and don’t track calories, how can I possibly be in a calorie deficit?

Maggie's Answer

The reason for the extra weight is due to the overeating. So if you eat to enough, you will reduce the overeating which reduces the extra weight. There are points where enough maintains your weight and then yes, you play around with the tools to eat less without feeling like your eating less (leaving bites behind, setting timers, etc) But until then, main focus is learning the signals of true hunger and the signals of enough food where you aren't eating more than your body needs for fuel.

Emotional Hunger

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Hey Maggie. You mentioned next month you’ll talk more about hunger and hunger cues. It’s something I’m struggling with and I’m working on it. But I’m hoping you can address this in your next month’s podcasts. Sometimes I’ll wake up in the morning and I’m not hungry and I decide that I will eat breakfast later. But then while making breakfast for the kids, it looks good and I get “hungry”. Then I end up eating when I’m not really hungry. Since I started the program, I have been eating a lot when I’m not hungry and it’s just been a hot mess, but again I’m working on it and eventually I’ll get to it. I’ll eat because I’m afraid if I don’t at the time I’m supposed to eat, I’ll get too hungry later and overeat. Or I’ll the cookie I planned even when I don’t want to because I’m afraid if I don’t, I’ll crave it later and again, overeat something else. So it’s been a lot of eating because I’m afraid to get too hungry. So these are some of the points I hope you can address next month. Oh by the way, what’s so funny is that I was so excited to plan some of my favorite “bad” foods, but since I started this program, I haven’t been craving anything. I’ll be hitting 4 weeks this Saturday and may have not lost anything.

Maggie's Answer

I would relisten to lessons 5,6, and 7 in the weightloss course. Deciding to eat because "It looks good" isn't physical hunger. Practice hearing those thoughts in your head and presenting new thinking in the moment. "It looks good... BUT I'm not hungry. When I am hungry, I will make something that looks and tastes amazing. I am learning to honor my hunger". Many of the choices you are making to eat are based in fear. Fear that you will get too hungry later, fear you'll crave it later, fear you'll overeat. The decision to eat isn't coming from trusting your body, it's coming from doubting your body. Thats normal. Trust has to be built, and the way you build it is by listening to your body, not your brains thoughts about your body. If you continue eating when you are not hungry, you won't lose weight. So your work will be in creating a new conversation and trust with your body by listening to its actual signals instead of the mental drama your brain presents that you can't believe your body. This takes time and practice. What is one way you can start listening to your body today? Start there.

Plateau

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Hi Maggie! Open to your suggestions on breaking a plateau. Thank you!

Maggie's Answer

What I see most frequently is not a plateau but a habit of sticking to a plan for a bit and then eating off plan and doing that JUST ENOUGH to maintain a range of weight by a few lbs. I know you're new to Vibe Club so these are the things to look at first: Are you making and following a plan daily? Has there been any overeating/eating off plan? If the answer is no to those questions and you have gone 3 weeks following the plan and not overeating, it would be time to evaluate your "enough" as it may have changed. But you are probably just getting into all the content so focus on implementing this new process before troubleshooting for a stall because that normally works itself out after you follow the plan consistently and honor your enough signals.

Supplements

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How do you feel about supplements like greens powders and apple cider vinegar? They suppress my appetite for a couple hours so I’m scared of gaining weight going off of them but they do really help my digestion and help me to not get stomach aches when I drink them in the morning.

Maggie's Answer

I haven't ever taken either. If you feel like they are serving a purpose with how your stomach feels and helping your digestion, then I don't think they are a problem. At some point you may want to try going without them to see how it feels and when you get hungry etc. But I wouldn't worry about it if it isn't a problem for you and isn't driving overeating.

Hunger and Fullness

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Hi Maggie, Trying to troubleshoot hunger and fullness between breakfast and lunch. I notice more times than not, I only remain full for about 2 hours between my breakfast and my lunch. I'm stuck because part of me feels like I need to eat more at breakfast as I try to stay satisfied for 3-4 hours after a meal.. but I also want to honor that I eat a good size portion at breakfast already, and don't want to force myself to eat more if I stop at what feels comfortable in terms of my fullness. How would you recommend I troubleshoot this?

Maggie's Answer

It may not be eating MORE at breakfast, but more satiating foods. So I would either try adding more protein and decreasing something else, or dont worry about it! If you have to eat 2 hours later, that may be a good time for a snack to hold you over until you get physically hungry! Honoring physical hunger is most important.

WORK ROOMS

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I'm a teacher and there are also these beautiful delicious snacks brought it! They are usually a surprise and seem to be hard to turn away from when I'm stressed at work! I also have to pass by it several times a day so I end up almost CONVINCING myself I'm hungry to justify the snacking. Any advice is appreciated (:

Maggie's Answer

Decide in advance what you will do when the snacks are brought in. You wont know when they will be there, but you can plan in advance what you will do when they show up. When you eat food from a place of stress, it doesn't create a great relationship with those foods. I would recommend deciding do you want to eat those snacks if you are physically hungry? And deciding that if you aren't physically hungry, you wont eat them. Sometimes that frees up some brain space and helps you make the decision. Your brain will still try to convince you that you ARE hungry to justify eating them- what can you say back to your brain to calm it down? "Its not that we cant ever have these delicious snacks, its just that we wont be having them if we aren't physically hungry for them." Adding this caveat can be part of your protocol.

Coaching for non food related issues

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Hey Maggie, I am going through a huge transition in my life right now- from stay at home mom and wife for 20 years and now going back to work full time at an assisted living facility and looking at going back to school and becoming an LPN. Big change! I would love coaching for going through a change like this, with practical applications of the tools for things that will most likely come up!

Maggie's Answer

This would be amazing to submit for the coaching call on Wednesday at 10am EST. The coaching calls can be used for Life Coaching as well. If you can make that call, look out for the Coaching submission form that will be sent out Sunday morning. If you are wanting written coaching, you can resubmit in Ask Maggie with what is coming up for you and what you feel like the "problem" is that you're wanting to solve for. But I def think many people would benefit from seeing you be live coached through this!

Binging

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Hi, I find myself binging on sweets when I bring them in the house. I have to eat gluten free so if there is non GF foods in the house it’s not an issue for me. But if I buy and or make myself something sweet that is GF I end up consuming it in a binging fashion. In my brain I keep telling myself I deserve this because I am so limited on what sweets I can eat or I’m thinking “better eat it now because you don’t know when you’ll have it again.” I want to take back my control over sweets and enjoy them when I want them without the need to binge. Any guidance you have would be greatly appreciated.

Maggie's Answer

I want you to journal around the thought "I have to eat gluten free". When It comes to health conditions that are improved by the way we eat, choosing foods that support our body is a gift. But it's very common to not feel that way and to describe it as something that isn't fair. The binging is an action created by telling yourself "I deserve this because Im so limited on what I can even have". That thought will absolutely drive up the desire. Your brain believes they are dangerous so you always binge them, and you need to create safety in your brain. You could plan a GF treat every single day if you wanted. The scarcity mentality is kicking in "better eat it now because you don't know when you will have it again." Are you ever putting those GF treats on your plan? Use the worksheets this month to uncover your thinking and plan intentionally. And please use the cheat sheet as well. It's going to be very helpful for new ways to learn to eat those treats mindfully vs mindlessly and help you create that trust. If you need more help, get coached this month. It's the perfect month to practice eating those foods on purpose. Be patient with yourself while you learn and practice. :)

Am I supposed to try to not eat the cookie?

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Hey Maggie. Still learning all of this. So I went to the birthday party. On my plan, I allowed myself one dessert. In my old ways, I would have skipped it, had coffee or tea, and been fine. But since I had it on my plan, I ate a cookie. So my question is, should I follow the plan or try to avoid the dessert if I could have with no problem? Hope this makes sense.

Maggie's Answer

I may need more context for this but I'm going to answer it the way I understand it. Were you only eating the cookie because you put it on your plan? You do not have to eat the cookie if you don't want it or aren't hungry for it. The only part I want you to explore is "should I try to avoid the dessert if I could have with no problem?" It isn't whether or not you eat the cookie. It's the reason why you choose to eat it or not eat it. Why would you be trying to avoid the dessert? Is that choice coming from diet rules or from you legitimately not wanting the cookie? There are many times I put dessert on the plan and choose not to eat it because I don't want it or I'm not hungry for it. Some reasons I don't want you skipping foods on your plan is because you are afraid to eat it, you think you won't lose weight eating it, or you are trying to go without it to lose weight as fast as possible.

What if want to be low carb because that’s what I think will work?

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I'm just starting and learning the program, but I have a question that has been on my mind a long time. Is it ok if I choose to eat low carb if that's what I want to do? But risking it may not be sustainable after weight loss? Because I still want to eat rice, oatmeal, potatoes, and maybe like Quinoa once in awhile.

Maggie's Answer

What matters most is the reason why you do something. Eating low carb isnt good or bad. But the reason you have for eating low carb is because Its what you think will work. I assume you have tried low carb. Has it worked long term for you or have you fought against it because it was challenging to sustain? Remember that to lose weight, you have to stop overeating. But if you know your future includes rice, oatmeal, and quinoa, you are postponing doing that work and making peace with those foods and learning that they don't prevent weight loss. If you love to eat low carb, then that is great. What would be the issue with including rice, oatmeal and potatoes occasionally to practice eating those foods? Nothing changes once you lose weight. What if you can lose weight and enjoy those foods? (you can) Your best plan moving forward is a plan you can follow while honoring your body's hunger and fullness. Perhaps that plan includes both low carb foods (if you truly enjoy them) and higher carb foods you mentioned.

Diet mentality vs Health recommendations

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Hey Maggie. I am really struggling. I have gone through a lot of diet changes over the last 6 months. I was keto for 6 years but I was having a lot of health issues come up and my Doctors all steered me away from keto. I started seeing a naturopath and we did some food testing and hormone testing and based on that she gave me a bunch of recommendations. This has lead to me being in a binge/restrict cycle for what seems like months. And now these new food restrictions are adding even more intense feelings around food. I feel like I need some help to figure this out. I feel like my brain is in a keto/diet mentality while also having to stay away from foods that are causing me inflammation - grains/gluten, dairy, some vegetables, fruits and nuts. I really want to stop the binge/restrict cycle that has intensified during this process. While making my plan today (first time in a while) I found it almost impossible to make a plan without considering my diet mentality. Feeling lost, stressed and frustrated. Please help!

Maggie's Answer

You had health issues and your doctors advised against keto and gave you specific recommendations based on testing. Those are the facts. Diet mentality is when you make decisions based on weightloss and past diet history. So your brain is interpreting these recommendations from your doctor, for health reasons, as all the "stuff youre not allowed to have." But what if there is a completely different way to think about it? You don't have to follow any recommendations of your doctor. But it sounds like you value having a solution that could help with your health issues. It seems like its worth giving a try. Your work will be around creating a juicy story around these changes. One where they serve your highest good and who you want to be vs restrictions. Sometimes the way you learn to love your plan if you love the results it gives you. Instead of focusing on all the stuff you can't have, I want you to make a list of all the things you can have. Make your plan from that list. It's ok to feel disappointment and frustration. Allow yourself to process those feelings. But then decide how you want to show up that allows you to feel amazing. You are worth that. Get coached on a coaching call if you need more support with this!

Trying to uplevel

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I have been in vibe club a little over a month and focused in July on making a plan every single day no matter what and allowing urges/following my plan. I was really successful because I planned foods that I love, but those foods included a lot of flour and sugar. As the month went on, I noticed that I was starting to be hungry all the time, whereas when I ate low carb I didn't have a lot of hunger. My energy level has also gone down. I decided that because of these things and wanting to feel less hungry and have more energy, that I wanted to uplevel my plan a little and get back to eating a low carb protocol, with exceptions planned in a few times a week. The first day of low carb, I did great following my plan, but the second day I went off the rails and ate with the thought, "I want to take a day off from all this". So apparently I need to uplevel more slowly, but I really don't like being starving all the time and wish I could get back to it sooner. My question is: how do I uplevel my eating without setting off my restrict-binge cycle? Even just a bit of an uplevel scares me into thinking that I'm going back to a tightly controlled diet, and this results in thinking that causes a binge. Do you have any suggestions for how to uplevel in a way that doesn't trigger massive urges to eat off plan?

Maggie's Answer

This is a very common part of the process. As you allow yourself to enjoy foods you previously restricted, you start to actually be able to feel how they feel in your body and make a choice as to whether or not you WANT to include them after weighing the pros and cons. A desire to have more energy and less hunger are great reasons for the foods you put on your plan. But the mindset you have around a "low carb protocol" is triggering your diet thinking and your brain is panicking. I think you are right on about upleveling more slowly. What if you just take it a day at a time starting with your first meal of the day or first 2 meals of the day? What if you didn't have to see it as a "low carb protocol"? I eat many low carb meals, but I don't think about it that way. They are just meals that make me feel great. Watch your brain when it offers that there are only two options here: Plan foods you love and all the flour and sugar... or low carb protocol with exceptions. What if there's a perfect YOU protocol and you are still just finding out the balance of that? You have to have the conversation with your brain that this isn't a tightly controlled diet, this is you experimenting with what balance looks like for you. And again I want to remind you that this is totally normal. Start from where you are at and uplevel 1-2 things at a time. Start slow and be willing to have the conversations with yourself that this is not what you have done in the past so that your brain calms down.

Where do I go from here?

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I’m an OG Vibe Club member and I was keto for almost 3 years. I got burned out with it in May and decided to try eating more of a balanced diet. I’ve gained about six pounds since then. I’ve been bouncing between low carb, complex carbs, whatever carbs I want back to low carb. I don’t know what to eat and the “good food/bad food” thoughts feel very loud. Do you have any suggestions about how to transition out of keto into balance without gaining more? I could really use some direction.

Maggie's Answer

First off, I know how hard that transition can be. Having all the foods available can feel challenging and it may also seem like the reason you are up is because of the carbs, but the reason it is up is because of overeating. And that can be a totally normal part of the process. It’s doesn’t really matter whether you are low carb, no carb, complex carb or all carbs, your work is to honor your hunger and stop at enough/satisfied. What will determine gaining more is if you continue to overeat. If you want balance, it’s important to plan in a balanced way. Include foods you love. Practice eating those foods while really listening to your body while you eat. There isn’t a right answer on “what to eat” other than what makes you feel good and what you enjoy. Use what worked from keto when it comes to foods you like. Add in carbs that you enjoy. Don’t overeat. Your brain will want to complicate it. But the way you break food rules is by showing your brain that it is safe to eat those foods. Give yourself time. If you just decided in May to change what you are doing, make sure you allow yourself the time it takes to learn something new.

I'm new here...do you think that you can help me?

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Hi there! I've been following you for awhile and finally pulled the trigger and joined VIBE CLUB yesterday. I feel like I can relate to everything that you say on your posts, etc, thank you! I'm going to be brutally honest though, I've been dragging my feet because I'm absolutely terrified. I'm probably going to go into way too much detail here, but I want you to get a picture of where I am at right now so that you can tell me that you can/want to help me. I'm 45, 5'5'' and currently weigh around 220lbs. I'm exhausted what feels like all of the time, I have aches/pains constantly (see a chiropractor 2-3x's/month), I have a very physical job & an unusual/everchanging work schedule, I eat way too much and mostly all of the wrong things. I have tried EVERYTHING under the sun in the last 20 years: weight watchers; several different gym memberships; personal trainers; nutrisystem; beachbody/shakeology; pruvit ketones, NOOM, food logs, etc etc. I even had a breast reduction 3yrs ago, thinking that maybe that would make me feel better enough to really commit to exercising regularly. My latest try (last April thru November) was taking Adipex-P (under dr. supervision), which helped me lose 25lbs., but then one thing lead to another and I stopped taking it because it didn't seem to be effective anymore. My highest weight was 243lbs in April 2021 (which led to the Adipex). I haven't been under 200lbs in over 15yrs give or take. I was a very active athlete (soccer) throughout high school & college. But, I don't think that I ever have had a healthy relationship with food. I am definitely an emotional eater (overeater). I eat to reward myself and I eat to comfort myself. I eat way too large portions; I don't eat regularly. For example, I will go from 12p to 10p without eating, then binge and be in bed by midnight. I hate drinking water and don't drink nearly enough. I drink way too much coffee w/ flavored creamer, of course. My actually what I hope was my rock bottom/wake up call was a few weeks ago. I wasn't feeling right (lightheaded/dizzy/unsteady) and went to my doctor. My BP was 161/110! My doctor was concerned that I may have a stroke and sent me to the ER. Tests came back normal, decided that dehydration, stress, and a migraine were the cause. At a follow-up with the doctor, I was told that I'm pre-diabetic & pre-hypertensive and that if I continued this way, I would be in trouble. I know that I need to make a change and be healthier. I have a 6yr old that needs a healthy/active/happy mother. But, as ridiculous as this sounds, the thought of not being able to eat cheese and have my peppermint mocha coffee scares the crap out of me!!! And I have spent sooo much money and time on things that just haven't helped me find that balance. So, again, I'm sorry to have given you too much information. But, is this something that you can help me with? I'm willing to make the commitment (I think), but I NEED this to stick this time.

Maggie's Answer

Vibe Club will absolutely help you if you work the process that I teach in the weightloss course. Visit the "start here" page and get started. You do not need to give up your favorite foods like cheese and peppermint mochas to lose weight. But I want to invite you to be willing to release the story you have about why you can't lose weight and how nothing has worked and why there is so much standing in the way. If you continue believing that story, you will apply it to your experience in Vibe Club as well and experience the same outcome. You will be quitting before you even get started here. Can you be willing to trust that this is different and cant be compared to the other things you've tried? Vibe Club isn't a diet. It's a place where I help clients unwind their diet thinking and reconnect to themselves after years of being out of touch with their body. Going all day without eating will always drive overeating at night. Vibe Club will give you a process for listening to your body's hunger and enough signals if you're willing to give yourself time to learn and listen. Welcome to Vibe Club!

Keto

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I started keto (again) two weeks ago. I’m doing it because I have insulin resistance and I’d like to lower my A1C/lose weight so I can get pregnant. I mentally committed to 6 weeks of keto to start. My question is how do I make it easier to stick to keto without exceptions? Also, I’ve struggled with all or nothing in the past. When is a good time to practice start allowing exceptions so that I’m not on again off again with keto/low carb?

Maggie's Answer

The way you make it easier is to create a very juicy story around your health. That story will have to be more compelling than eating whatever you want. If it feels heavy and like an unfair obligation, you will push back against it. Spend some time journaling and making a list of your "whys" that will carry you through when your brain starts to complain. I am glad you are noticing the all or nothing possibility that may be triggered by your decision. The cool thing about keto is that if you get fat adapted, your body switches back into ketosis quicker. So staying keto 4 weeks before eating off of keto may be helpful. But remember that advice wont help if that's simply not doable. You will have to play around with the frequency that works best for you and your body.

Ketones

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What brand of ketones do u drink? Do u have a code or link? Thank u!

Maggie's Answer

I drink pruvit ketones, mainly as a pre-workout and moodboost. I do not use them for weight loss. Link is thelowcarbllama.shopketo.com and my referrer code is: thelowcarbllama

Diet Mentality vs. Protocol

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Hi Maggie, I realized in June that my protocol was a little "loose," meaning that I didn't really have a definition as to how many exceptions I would allow, what constituted an exception, etc. I adjusted my protocol for July and that has helped me be more intentional with my planning. One thing that I wrote in my protocol was that I would allow more carbs(low carb bread/pasta) only on days when I worked out(lifting), and try to keep it lower carb(mainly protein, veggies, and some high fiber fruit) on days that I just walk. I'm starting to feel a little resistance to this as I've gone along, or like I can only allow those things if I "earn" them with a workout. I know that's not the mindset I need to have. Is this me slipping back into diet mentality, or just my brain pushing back on my protocol?

Maggie's Answer

What will always answer the question of "is this diet rules/mentality?" is what is the reason I am making this choice? "I can only allow those things if I earn them with a workout" is a diet rule around carbs. Aka: I can have carbs but only if I earn them. And even still they are low carb carbs. You are keeping a very tight grip on the rules of allowance. You don't have to earn food. My challenge to you is to add more carbs on days when you are not lifting. It will make your brain explode a little bit and we want that. Those negative feelings that come up are showing you the diet rules. The way to make peace with food is by challenging the rules and showing safety around the food. As always, listen to your body while you eat and stop at enough.

Planning exception meal

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I’m planning my first exception meal on Sunday. I’m mostly excited to practice not overeating and getting back to my “normal foods” right away, but there’s a part of me that’s scared this is going to derail me and lead to binging sugar for days. I’m doing a lot of journaling to dig into these conflicting feelings, and I’m working on putting together a plan if I do find myself wanting to binge the next day. I was just wondering if any of you have any tips or advice for when you have an exception meal? Have you ever felt the same way I do now? What’s helped you? Thank you!

Maggie's Answer

Give yourself credit for everything you are doing and how you are already thinking about it.Your planned exception doesn't have the power to derail you, but what you tell yourself afterwards does.
So def decide what you are going to think afterwards. What are the sneaky things your brain usually says that leads to binging sugar for days? "it doesn't matter" "not in ketosis (if you're keto)" "enjoy yourself before you have to get back to being strict)-- figure out what the thoughts are for you and what to say back.
I also want you to go to the place in your mind where you plan the exception, don't over eat and then get right back on your plan the next day. How proud are you? How good does it feel to have new evidence that you can have a different experience? Spend some time in that place.
And remember that this is a learning experience and it takes practice.

Following your plan

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I’m brand new to vibe club. I’ve been working on making a plan and sticking to it, but I’ve already messed up twice. Now I feel guilt ridden like I’ve failed. I worked a very stressful shift all night, and I stuck to my plan yesterday. I came home and hubby wanted to go to breakfast. My plan was to sleep and eat a low carb dinner later on. Instead of doing that I went to breakfast. I chose a low carb meal but I had 1/2 a muffin and 2 cookies then I bought two truffles. How do you plan for spontaneity? Do you always say no to your spouse if the thing wasn’t planned? If you do say yes, how do you make the right choices when you didn’t plan it ahead of time? I’m not sure if this is the correct place to ask these types of questions, but I’m feeling pretty awful and disappointed in myself for my own choices….

Maggie's Answer

No such thing as messing up and I truly mean that.
I want you to consider that it not possible to change years of behaviors in a week or from watching a video.
You’re feeling awful and disappointed because the story you’re telling is “I already messed up twice”
What about this story: “I am really becoming aware of the specific instances where I get tripped up with following my plan. And I’m reaching out for coaching so that I can overcome these things and get momentum. I’m proud of myself”
I like that description so much more and I believe it’s absolutely true.
I want you to go to the worksheet section and print some curiosity worksheets out and do one for this situation. Let me know what insights you get from it.

Treats and urges

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How do you handle foods that you feel are turning into addictions? I eat (in my opinion) exactly the way I want to for my health and for weight loss. I love cooking with vegetables. I truly enjoy my meals. But I can’t seem to stop with ChocZero chocolate. I was consistently losing weight until I found it about a year ago. I listened to the podcasts and went through the course and started adding choczero into my plan, thinking that would help me get it under control. Reasonable amounts, like one piece after a meal. But I can’t seem to stick to one. I’ll have four instead. Or an entire bag. 😳 It doesn’t seem emotional, I just LOVE the taste. And I’m struggling when it comes to not buying it and not ordering more, even though that’s the logical solution. I really feel like I can’t stop, and going through multiple bags a week is definitely contributing to me not losing weight. It’s my favorite food, small amounts don’t satisfy, and I can’t even talk myself out of buying it, much less talk myself out of having 3-5x what I plan. Any tips?

Maggie's Answer

Hi Jennifer! This is such a great question. First I want to show you some thoughts that are standing in the way of getting to the bottom of this:
"choczero is a food that is turning into addiction"
"I cant seem to stop with choczero chocolate"
"I cant seem to stick to one"
"I really feel like I cant stop"
"I cant talk myself out of buying it"
It absolutely makes sense that you arent stopping when you believe those things. And you are believing them because thats what you currently have evidence for. But you are not at the mercy of choczero. Each time you eat one, you are making a choice and that choice is probably fueled by one of the thoughts above.
So two places to look: Kari was dead on that sometimes what is actually happening is ou didnt eat enough at prior meals so start there.
second place is: if you didnt keep eating them, what would you have to feel? Deprived? Fomo? Disappointment? You may not feel like its emotionally driven but you may be continuing because you dont want to stop for an emotional reason even if its not super deep. But you dont get to avoid the disappointment or fomo. Because you are disappointed that you arent losing weight and youre missing out on the results you want. You get to choose your flavor of disappointment here.
So start at those 2 places. TFD + feelings module could be helpful.

Overeating on birthday

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So yesterday was my bday and I was doing so well for breakfast and dinner. I haven’t had any slip ups since I started vibe club in January. I went a little nuts last night and could have kept going with food but I stopped bc I didn’t want to be seen “going overboard”. I was so mad at myself and couldn’t understand why this was happening. Why was I overeating?! I had a great bday filled with relaxing and laughter. I had to really sit with the why. I didn’t want to beat myself up over it happening bc I couldn’t change it but I could figure out why I was doing this. I always spend my bday dinner at my parents house. This is the first year it just didn’t work out but I will on Sunday. My husband, son and sister would have been super late so I moved the day. This was a real test bc this is the “worst” I’ve been since starting. I never thought of having a plan for the full day when I’ve been so good. I never stray. I did not anticipate such a big change having an affect on me. Isn’t it weird when it’s almost like we don’t have control over our own body in moments like that. I remember doing all of it but never thinking wow you should probably stop. Lastly I will say I was triggered bc I wasn’t even hungry for dinner but my husband went out of his way to plan something so I forced myself to eat…I didn’t want to make him feel bad so I made myself feel bad instead. Idk sorry for the rant. Really I’ve reflected on it all day. I only know now what I would have done differently. I could have taken a few bites and just said I was full..idk

Maggie's Answer

I want to acknowledge that you did choose to stop. You may not like your reason for it, but you did. So take credit for that.
Second it is normal to have slip ups. Look at how you’re describing this as the “worst” you’ve been. What if we removed all the judgement? The fact is “I overate on my birthday”… what else could you make it mean?
Could It just be that because you forced yourself to eat dinner you weren’t hungry for, you brain went crazy with the story of “well we’ve already overate and we’ve been so good since January. May as well eat all the things we haven’t been allowing?” What if that’s ok? That’s not an abnormal thing on this journey.
What if in the future you simply say “I’m not hungry and I don’t want to eat or I won’t love how I feel”.
Don’t ruin your day ruminating ❤️ The hindsight you have already gathered will help you next time this happens. And it will happen again at some point. And that’s ok. You are doing great. Enjoy the rest of your birthday weekend!

Planning for vacation

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I listened to the vacations podcast, but I’m struggling with what protocol to plan. I’m going on my honeymoon, and it has two parts. I’ll be going to Napa valley for 9 days. I come home for 2 days then I’ll be in Paris for a week. The reason I’m a little stuck is I really want to drink all the wine in Napa, eat food good, and eat the pastries etc while in Paris, but I don’t want to blow up like a balloon and yolo ot.

Maggie's Answer

If it were my honeymoon, I would absolutely prioritize enjoying the food and drinks. But I would also prioritize how I wanted to feel as well. My protocol would prob look something like the 50/50 protocol I discussed in the vacation module! Half of the day would be what I would normally do and most likely dinner and dessert (and a drink) would be just enjoying myself without overeating.
Do you have your current protocol decided? What parts of your current protocol will work for you honeymoon?
Overeating and binging on past vacations probably came from not having a realistic plan as well as feeling like you may as well go all out while you're eating all the things. It's absolutely possible to have a balanced vacation. You will need a thought plan too. What are the thoughts you want to have on your trip so that you can prioritize following your plan knowing that it is a fabulous doable mix of food that makes you feel great and food that is super fun.
You also could decide to eat fun food at every meal and watch portions without overeating. That is an option as well. A honeymoon/vacation doesn't make or break your journey. If you aren't overeating constantly, you aren't going to gain a bunch of weight.

Determining goal weight

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What factors do you suggest I take into consideration when trying to determine my goal weight?

Maggie's Answer

I feel like this podcast will be super helpful as a resource:
https://podcasts.apple.com/.../sustaining.../id1487143525

Using pictures for inspiration

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Do you think it’s ok to use a pic of yourself where you liked the way you look as inspiration, body composition wise? I know you say not to look to the past and try to squeeze yourself into something that you were before…I guess it just depends on how that pic makes you feel? Good or bad about where you’re at? Thanks for your advice!

Maggie's Answer

At the end of the day the only thing that will determine how you feel about it is your thoughts about it. So pics aren’t good or bad. They are neutral. Our thoughts about them will create how you feel.
My thoughts after I had my second baby and saw pics from before I got pregnant were “I can’t believe I have to do this again” “I can’t believe I gained 55lbs, I said I wouldn’t let this happen” “I looked so much better then” so for me, not helpful. I could have worked on changing my thoughts about those pics but I decided a better use of my time was focusing on who I would be every day and who I was becoming, not who I had been.

Adding in alcohol

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Ok I need a little help. I am making myself a more definite protocol and plan for my upcoming week. How do you work around adding in booze? I’ve had the thinking in the past, that if I have a drink I won’t lose weight. So do I put one drink on my plan everyday incase I would like a glass of wine? Or do I make it more of an exception only a few times a week? But it’s almost like if I say I can’t have it, I want it more 😂 A lot of the time I don’t even care to drink so I haven’t been adding it, but then I’m drinking off plan. Not sure what would work best.

Maggie's Answer

If you’re drinking regardless, plan a drink. Then it’s a choice and there is permission there. You can still lose weight while drinking but normally the issue isn’t the drink it’s drinking too much and then eating a bunch that we didn’t plan. Best way to figure it out is to practice and collect feedback!

Making/following plan when circumstances change

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I have difficulty making/following a plan when my husband has time off from work. I treat it as vacation even though we may not be going anywhere. Sleep is off, eating is off, whole routine goes out the window. He has off for 2 months (June and July) and I am nervous I will be less consistent with my vibe strategies. I know its all in my head. But it just seems difficult for me. I've done so well for May and he's been off since Saturday and I have not followed my plan since🤦‍♀️. It has begun🙄.

Maggie's Answer

This is really a great question and will be helpful to so many people who have changes in routine coming up with the summer.
You already have identified the issue. Two things you are believing is that you have difficulty making and following a plan and you treat it as a vacation when he is home.
But it's not any harder to make and follow a plan when he is home. You are just telling yourself those things above and then making choices not to prioritize sleep, eating or a routine. They don't have an ability to go out the window without your consent.
You have a certain routine you've created when he is home. And its not currently working.
So if you don't want your husband being home to activate yolo mode, you will have to change your thoughts about him being home.
When he is home, you deprioritize your habits. If you want to do something different, you will have to choose to think something different.
What changes do you need to make to your protocol/plan so it is realistic for when he has time off? Plan more fun food? Eat breakfast? There is going to be a balance of making the plan more doable and managing your brain around the fact that when he is home it isn't eat all the things time and put yourself on the back burner.
How can you enjoy your husband and keep your promises to yourself so that you don't find yourself feeling terrible come august?

Emotionally eating

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I am emotionally eating bc I am sad and stressed. I am planning and doing my best and a day or two will hit me and I will choose one thing off my plan for the day that keep me in a consistent rinse cycle of 2 up and 2 down. I’m journaling and trying to wrap my brain around not being on a diet when all I want to do is lose weight and be on a diet. This is painful and I feel stuck. Several great days strung together but a day a two of off plan and I am right back where I started. I’m 3 weeks into VC and I’m just spinning. Journaling definitely helps. I’ve done it every day. My data tells me I’m 50% on plan so there’s my answer in the data. But the emotionally aspect of this is just very hard and I am struggling. Can’t talk to hubby about it. I keep it all inside. Any pearls of wisdom, I know I’m not alone. We are all recovering dieters

Maggie's Answer

Have you finished the weightloss course? I would go back through the feeling the feels lesson + the urges lesson.
Your brain is presenting food as a solve. That makes sense. It's a well practiced pattern. So if you were absolutely unable to solve with food, how would you solve it?
The alternative to eating emotionally is allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling without judgement. When you practice that you realize that you are capable of feeling any feeling. What is wrong with being sad? or stressed? Those are normal human emotions. But when we judge them as something going wrong, we use food to escape.

After vacation brain drama

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Hi! Just have to share my thoughts and get them out of my head. I had lost 28.6 lbs since december and have like 8lbs left to my end goal. And now with a crazy busy May and a vacation to Barcelona where i went completely off my usual plan ( i had planned to to that 🙈😂), i just feel like shit and have gained 3.5 lbs on that week. I know that i will lose most of it this week since it’s mostly water. But i’m just having some brain drama and those feelings of «i will never get to the end since i gained some weight now». I think i know what to do and have already made my plan for eating tomorrow and will try to stick to my plan from here on, but i can’t help those destructive thoughts like «omg i need to loose this fast», «how fast can i loose it» etc 😬❤️

Maggie's Answer

Have you finished the weightloss course? I would go back through the feeling the feels lesson + the urges lesson.
Your brain is presenting food as a solve. That makes sense. It's a well practiced pattern. So if you were absolutely unable to solve with food, how would you solve it?
The alternative to eating emotionally is allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling without judgement. When you practice that you realize that you are capable of feeling any feeling. What is wrong with being sad? or stressed? Those are normal human emotions. But when we judge them as something going wrong, we use food to escape.

Scale isn't moving

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Wrapping up May, and while I have been more consistent this month than I was in April as far as following my plan, my weight has not budged. It will go down but always pops back up. Is it time to look at my tightening up my protocol? I like and feel good with the way I am eating right now, and I feel like I’m doing pretty well with listening to my hunger and fullness cues. I have returned to lifting workouts 3-4x/week after a 6 week break…could that be keeping the scale where it’s at? Just a little frustrated that I haven’t seen the scale budge…

Maggie's Answer

Absolutely take into account the strength training. That always throws things off for me for a bit. But thats when I have to have the conversation that its very likely I am losing fat and gaining muscle. When ryan got his follow up dexa scan last year it showed that he had only lost 14 lbs but that was because he put on muscle and lost fat. Overall I think he lost 28 lbs of fat. The scale is not a good representation of fat loss. Stick it out.

Planning during vacation

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I’m reaching out because I’m struggling a little. I’m on part two of my honeymoon (we’re in Paris), but I def gained weight during part one. I can see it, and I def feel it. I want to enjoy Paris, but I’m almost afraid to indulge for fear of gaining even more weight. In the past, I have always done a yolo thing on vacation. Not this time. A huge win is that I didn’t pig out in Napa, and I even worked out 3 times. Despite that, I clearly ate too much because my clothes are super tight and my stomach is visibly bigger. It’s affecting my confidence for sure…. I’ll be here in Paris for a week, and I’m not sure what to do…. I’d appreciate any tips you have to offer.

Maggie's Answer

I would revist your original post from before your honeymoon. Reexamine what you planned to do. Are you doing that? What you are feeling in your body could simply be more bloat and water retention than youre used to. It could be digestion related (mine always gets jacked on vacay).
You dont have to do anything drastic. Make a plan daily and while youre eating pay attention not to overeat. I dont want you ruining A TRIP IN PARIS with thinking that youve messed something up. Make sure to hydrate and give yourself credit for noticing what is happening you joined VC right before this trip so its probably not the easiest situation to learn hunger and fullness on your honeymoon. But as Becky said what happens on this trip does not determine your ability to be successful. As you have said, you are not going yolo mode. Celebrate that.
Enjoy yourself and your honeymoon!

Restricting before vacation

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I need help with a decades-old habit. We are leaving on vacation in two weeks, and it’s been my habit during those 2 weeks to hardcore diet to reach my goal weight. That way I’ll have a “buffer” in case (in case??) I gain weight since I throw all common sense eating out the window. I am currently 7 pounds over goal, and some of my pants are getting uncomfortable, so there is no buffer anymore. I’m staying on plan, and loving the foods I eat, but I doubt I can lose even 5 in two weeks. My Inner Mean Girl is telling me to go back to what has worked in the past, but I don’t want to be that person anymore. Maybe I need to stop weighing every day. 🤷‍♀️ All suggestions/comments welcome.

Maggie's Answer

I want to take a second to just acknowledge what you are noticing. It is so normal for your brain to offer this. It’s something you have done and practiced. You brain hears “vacation in two weeks” and says ok it’s go time to lose weight as fast as possible!
But you are noticing your diet thinking. And interrupting the pattern. Deciding not to crash diet leading up to the event and then deciding not to throw common sense eating out the window on your trip will create new evidence. And when we create new evidence we create a new identity!
If it worked in the past, you wouldn’t be here doing this work. I’m so glad to hear planning and following your plan is going so well. What if instead, you spent the next 2 weeks really honing in on hunger and fullness so that you are fully prepped to show up for yourself on your trip?

Following alcohol plan

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Having a moment here, guys. Super frustrated with myself and not feeling good in my body. Having to try really hard to turn down the negative self-talk about how my body looks and why I’m not seeing the results I want to. Frustrated that I plan drinks and then always seem to have more than I plan. It’s leaving me resentful about planning for the week, which I know I need to do because future me is working this week, and planning on work weeks has been SO key for me staying on track!! I’m good on the food but the alcohol is tripping me up, especially with hosting BBQs and attending graduation parties and such. Why can’t I just do what I plan to and know will get me the results I want?! Sorry. Just not a great day mentally. 🥴

Maggie's Answer

Really dig into that question “why can’t I just do what I plan?” What’s the answer? What are the obstacles standing in the way?
You’re doing the work and not every day will be easy. Not every day will be hard either.
You know what to do next ❤️ Make a plan and dust yourself off.

Planning treats

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Want to discuss treat vs snack. I enjoy pb-filled pretzels at night, and plan for them. But, if I'm not hungry, how does that work? Can we just plan something that tastes good (I personally love the crunch and salt).

Maggie's Answer

If your body isn’t hungry, you don’t want to eat because then it’s being over fueled. However if there is a snack you love, I would account for it at dinner but possibly eating less. But the real way to know if it is a problem is if you are planning it and eating it, is your weight still going down?

Intuitive eating for kids

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I am trying to teach my four year old to listen to his body about when it’s full and sometimes he even says “my body is full” and he barley eats anything but I’m so proud he is listening but sometimes he eats way more than he should and says that his body was hungry. Idk do you have any tips that you teach your little ones? I don’t want my kids to be my age and still trying to figure this stuff out.

Maggie's Answer

I would check out amazon for books on intuitive eating for kids! I am def not an expert at this. The changes I have made are having more nutrient dense snacks available, buying less processed snacks (but not eliminating them. they still have plenty of snacks) and not pushing that they finish their food. I also speak very openly about paying attention to how food makes you feel in your body so my 6 year old can start noticing and he def has!

Overeating when frustrated

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I knew I was done halfway through the plate but I just kept eating- I was frustrated and frustration is definitely the emotion/feeling that gets me every time. I was frustrated that my kids were being crazy and not eating this more expensive than expected restaurant food, that my tween had the worst attitude, that nobody cared how hard I was trying, that the stupid scale finally hit 139 and then was back up to 140 today. I know i can’t control them but frustration is where my mind keeps going. Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with the frustration?

Maggie's Answer

It’s normal to feel like your kids are causing frustration but kids don’t cause feelings, thoughts do.
Spend sometime exploring the frustrating thoughts you had. They will come up again. What can you choose to think on purpose instead? TFD Will come in handy
You’re right, we can’t change how the kids behave. You can ONLY change how you respond. This is great news because it means you have the power!
The issue is that you would have had to sit with that frustration if you didn’t keep eating. It’s also worth exploring, what’s so bad about frustration? It’s a vibration in your body. What if you got really good at handling frustration without eating? Who would you be on the other side of that frustration? (knowing it will pass for sure)

Starting over

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Hi! I’m recovering from Covid and seeking advice about where to begin. I got off to a bit of a rocky start with vibe club since I went on my 2 week long honeymoon and ended up stuck in Paris with Covid. I’m home now and starting to feel a bit better, but the fatigue and coughing are real. Anyway, I feel like I need to start over with the process, but I’m not even sure what that’ll look like as I’m still recovering. I just know I need do something because my clothes are getting way too tight for comfort. I’d appreciate any tips you have to offer 🥹

Maggie's Answer

You never need to start over! Just pick up exactly where you left off. And meet yourself where you’re at.
Revisit the weightloss course where I teach all the tools. Make a plan. Follow that plan and listen to hunger signals. That will obvs be a bit wonky for a bit while you’re recovering❤️ feel better soon!
Here’s the start here link!
https://www.vibewithmaggie.com/members/start-here

Eating off plan

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Hi everyone. I need a little help. It’s been 5 days now of making choices that are not helpful for me. I’ve made my plan everyday and some of the 5 days have included the treats I planned to enjoy. But at this point I feel like I’m spiraling. I keep waking up with good intentions but by dinner time or lunch time I’m just eating all of the things. HELP!

Maggie's Answer

Are you filling out curiosity worksheets each day? What are you finding out? What are the thoughts that drive the urges to eat off plan?
When I find that I am feeling all wonky for days in a row I really hone in on planning filling meals so I know I am managing physical hunger and I can rule out that it’s not a hunger issue. And then beyond that, I identify the thoughts that are screwing me. “It doesn’t matter” “it won’t hurt” “I’ll start over tomorrow”. And I sell myself on the opposite.
You’re talking yourself into eating off plan. How can you talk yourself into following the plan instead? Juicify that story.

Urges while traveling

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Leaving for a short vacation this Friday, and while it wont be too hard to stay on plan while I’m in New York, my downfall is the travel home day. I have packed healthy options before (protein bars, rice cakes, grapes, etc), but none of it matters once I see the candy and chips at the airport gift shops. I know I’m tired, and just want to get home, and feel like I need massive amounts of sugar (I’m talking straight up family size bag of jelly beans), which then triggers my “need” for salt (hence, the chips). This back and forth continues through the hour-long drive home, because well, I wouldn’t want to starve or fall asleep at the wheel, right??? So, can I please get some ideas to help me break this habit? Maybe some things to say to myself?

Maggie's Answer

You have a good story about being on the trip but your thoughts about the travel home arent as juicy..
"My downfall is the travel home"
"none of it matters once I see the candy and chips"
"I need massive amounts of sugar"
"just another chance to make an unhealthy decision"
Those are the thoughts I want you to look at. They are setting you up to not trust yourself in advance. So instead of your brain imagining success its imagining doing what you dont want to do.
Heres what I want you to question... does sugar and a big family size of jelly beans help you not be tired? Does it help you feel focused and great while youre driving? I know for me it would make me crash and get super fuzzy brained. Your brain is saying you will fall asleep or starve at the wheel, is that true? These are just thinking errors that if you evaluate you will see arent true. They are based off your old identity and what youve done in the past. But we are shifting that!
Why are you totally strong enough to follow your traveling home day plan? How would it feel to come back from your trip and post here and say "I DID IT! I followed my plan and I didnt believe the old story my brain gave me!"
What if instead you saw this as your opportunity to practice something new? What would you have to think instead to successfully follow your plan?