Ask Maggie

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search previously asked questions

Am I supposed to try to not eat the cookie?

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Hey Maggie. Still learning all of this. So I went to the birthday party. On my plan, I allowed myself one dessert. In my old ways, I would have skipped it, had coffee or tea, and been fine. But since I had it on my plan, I ate a cookie. So my question is, should I follow the plan or try to avoid the dessert if I could have with no problem? Hope this makes sense.

Maggie's Answer

I may need more context for this but I'm going to answer it the way I understand it. Were you only eating the cookie because you put it on your plan? You do not have to eat the cookie if you don't want it or aren't hungry for it. The only part I want you to explore is "should I try to avoid the dessert if I could have with no problem?" It isn't whether or not you eat the cookie. It's the reason why you choose to eat it or not eat it. Why would you be trying to avoid the dessert? Is that choice coming from diet rules or from you legitimately not wanting the cookie? There are many times I put dessert on the plan and choose not to eat it because I don't want it or I'm not hungry for it. Some reasons I don't want you skipping foods on your plan is because you are afraid to eat it, you think you won't lose weight eating it, or you are trying to go without it to lose weight as fast as possible.

What if want to be low carb because that’s what I think will work?

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I'm just starting and learning the program, but I have a question that has been on my mind a long time. Is it ok if I choose to eat low carb if that's what I want to do? But risking it may not be sustainable after weight loss? Because I still want to eat rice, oatmeal, potatoes, and maybe like Quinoa once in awhile.

Maggie's Answer

What matters most is the reason why you do something. Eating low carb isnt good or bad. But the reason you have for eating low carb is because Its what you think will work. I assume you have tried low carb. Has it worked long term for you or have you fought against it because it was challenging to sustain? Remember that to lose weight, you have to stop overeating. But if you know your future includes rice, oatmeal, and quinoa, you are postponing doing that work and making peace with those foods and learning that they don't prevent weight loss. If you love to eat low carb, then that is great. What would be the issue with including rice, oatmeal and potatoes occasionally to practice eating those foods? Nothing changes once you lose weight. What if you can lose weight and enjoy those foods? (you can) Your best plan moving forward is a plan you can follow while honoring your body's hunger and fullness. Perhaps that plan includes both low carb foods (if you truly enjoy them) and higher carb foods you mentioned.

Diet mentality vs Health recommendations

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Hey Maggie. I am really struggling. I have gone through a lot of diet changes over the last 6 months. I was keto for 6 years but I was having a lot of health issues come up and my Doctors all steered me away from keto. I started seeing a naturopath and we did some food testing and hormone testing and based on that she gave me a bunch of recommendations. This has lead to me being in a binge/restrict cycle for what seems like months. And now these new food restrictions are adding even more intense feelings around food. I feel like I need some help to figure this out. I feel like my brain is in a keto/diet mentality while also having to stay away from foods that are causing me inflammation - grains/gluten, dairy, some vegetables, fruits and nuts. I really want to stop the binge/restrict cycle that has intensified during this process. While making my plan today (first time in a while) I found it almost impossible to make a plan without considering my diet mentality. Feeling lost, stressed and frustrated. Please help!

Maggie's Answer

You had health issues and your doctors advised against keto and gave you specific recommendations based on testing. Those are the facts. Diet mentality is when you make decisions based on weightloss and past diet history. So your brain is interpreting these recommendations from your doctor, for health reasons, as all the "stuff youre not allowed to have." But what if there is a completely different way to think about it? You don't have to follow any recommendations of your doctor. But it sounds like you value having a solution that could help with your health issues. It seems like its worth giving a try. Your work will be around creating a juicy story around these changes. One where they serve your highest good and who you want to be vs restrictions. Sometimes the way you learn to love your plan if you love the results it gives you. Instead of focusing on all the stuff you can't have, I want you to make a list of all the things you can have. Make your plan from that list. It's ok to feel disappointment and frustration. Allow yourself to process those feelings. But then decide how you want to show up that allows you to feel amazing. You are worth that. Get coached on a coaching call if you need more support with this!

Trying to uplevel

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I have been in vibe club a little over a month and focused in July on making a plan every single day no matter what and allowing urges/following my plan. I was really successful because I planned foods that I love, but those foods included a lot of flour and sugar. As the month went on, I noticed that I was starting to be hungry all the time, whereas when I ate low carb I didn't have a lot of hunger. My energy level has also gone down. I decided that because of these things and wanting to feel less hungry and have more energy, that I wanted to uplevel my plan a little and get back to eating a low carb protocol, with exceptions planned in a few times a week. The first day of low carb, I did great following my plan, but the second day I went off the rails and ate with the thought, "I want to take a day off from all this". So apparently I need to uplevel more slowly, but I really don't like being starving all the time and wish I could get back to it sooner. My question is: how do I uplevel my eating without setting off my restrict-binge cycle? Even just a bit of an uplevel scares me into thinking that I'm going back to a tightly controlled diet, and this results in thinking that causes a binge. Do you have any suggestions for how to uplevel in a way that doesn't trigger massive urges to eat off plan?

Maggie's Answer

This is a very common part of the process. As you allow yourself to enjoy foods you previously restricted, you start to actually be able to feel how they feel in your body and make a choice as to whether or not you WANT to include them after weighing the pros and cons. A desire to have more energy and less hunger are great reasons for the foods you put on your plan. But the mindset you have around a "low carb protocol" is triggering your diet thinking and your brain is panicking. I think you are right on about upleveling more slowly. What if you just take it a day at a time starting with your first meal of the day or first 2 meals of the day? What if you didn't have to see it as a "low carb protocol"? I eat many low carb meals, but I don't think about it that way. They are just meals that make me feel great. Watch your brain when it offers that there are only two options here: Plan foods you love and all the flour and sugar... or low carb protocol with exceptions. What if there's a perfect YOU protocol and you are still just finding out the balance of that? You have to have the conversation with your brain that this isn't a tightly controlled diet, this is you experimenting with what balance looks like for you. And again I want to remind you that this is totally normal. Start from where you are at and uplevel 1-2 things at a time. Start slow and be willing to have the conversations with yourself that this is not what you have done in the past so that your brain calms down.

Where do I go from here?

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I’m an OG Vibe Club member and I was keto for almost 3 years. I got burned out with it in May and decided to try eating more of a balanced diet. I’ve gained about six pounds since then. I’ve been bouncing between low carb, complex carbs, whatever carbs I want back to low carb. I don’t know what to eat and the “good food/bad food” thoughts feel very loud. Do you have any suggestions about how to transition out of keto into balance without gaining more? I could really use some direction.

Maggie's Answer

First off, I know how hard that transition can be. Having all the foods available can feel challenging and it may also seem like the reason you are up is because of the carbs, but the reason it is up is because of overeating. And that can be a totally normal part of the process. It’s doesn’t really matter whether you are low carb, no carb, complex carb or all carbs, your work is to honor your hunger and stop at enough/satisfied. What will determine gaining more is if you continue to overeat. If you want balance, it’s important to plan in a balanced way. Include foods you love. Practice eating those foods while really listening to your body while you eat. There isn’t a right answer on “what to eat” other than what makes you feel good and what you enjoy. Use what worked from keto when it comes to foods you like. Add in carbs that you enjoy. Don’t overeat. Your brain will want to complicate it. But the way you break food rules is by showing your brain that it is safe to eat those foods. Give yourself time. If you just decided in May to change what you are doing, make sure you allow yourself the time it takes to learn something new.

I'm new here...do you think that you can help me?

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Hi there! I've been following you for awhile and finally pulled the trigger and joined VIBE CLUB yesterday. I feel like I can relate to everything that you say on your posts, etc, thank you! I'm going to be brutally honest though, I've been dragging my feet because I'm absolutely terrified. I'm probably going to go into way too much detail here, but I want you to get a picture of where I am at right now so that you can tell me that you can/want to help me. I'm 45, 5'5'' and currently weigh around 220lbs. I'm exhausted what feels like all of the time, I have aches/pains constantly (see a chiropractor 2-3x's/month), I have a very physical job & an unusual/everchanging work schedule, I eat way too much and mostly all of the wrong things. I have tried EVERYTHING under the sun in the last 20 years: weight watchers; several different gym memberships; personal trainers; nutrisystem; beachbody/shakeology; pruvit ketones, NOOM, food logs, etc etc. I even had a breast reduction 3yrs ago, thinking that maybe that would make me feel better enough to really commit to exercising regularly. My latest try (last April thru November) was taking Adipex-P (under dr. supervision), which helped me lose 25lbs., but then one thing lead to another and I stopped taking it because it didn't seem to be effective anymore. My highest weight was 243lbs in April 2021 (which led to the Adipex). I haven't been under 200lbs in over 15yrs give or take. I was a very active athlete (soccer) throughout high school & college. But, I don't think that I ever have had a healthy relationship with food. I am definitely an emotional eater (overeater). I eat to reward myself and I eat to comfort myself. I eat way too large portions; I don't eat regularly. For example, I will go from 12p to 10p without eating, then binge and be in bed by midnight. I hate drinking water and don't drink nearly enough. I drink way too much coffee w/ flavored creamer, of course. My actually what I hope was my rock bottom/wake up call was a few weeks ago. I wasn't feeling right (lightheaded/dizzy/unsteady) and went to my doctor. My BP was 161/110! My doctor was concerned that I may have a stroke and sent me to the ER. Tests came back normal, decided that dehydration, stress, and a migraine were the cause. At a follow-up with the doctor, I was told that I'm pre-diabetic & pre-hypertensive and that if I continued this way, I would be in trouble. I know that I need to make a change and be healthier. I have a 6yr old that needs a healthy/active/happy mother. But, as ridiculous as this sounds, the thought of not being able to eat cheese and have my peppermint mocha coffee scares the crap out of me!!! And I have spent sooo much money and time on things that just haven't helped me find that balance. So, again, I'm sorry to have given you too much information. But, is this something that you can help me with? I'm willing to make the commitment (I think), but I NEED this to stick this time.

Maggie's Answer

Vibe Club will absolutely help you if you work the process that I teach in the weightloss course. Visit the "start here" page and get started. You do not need to give up your favorite foods like cheese and peppermint mochas to lose weight. But I want to invite you to be willing to release the story you have about why you can't lose weight and how nothing has worked and why there is so much standing in the way. If you continue believing that story, you will apply it to your experience in Vibe Club as well and experience the same outcome. You will be quitting before you even get started here. Can you be willing to trust that this is different and cant be compared to the other things you've tried? Vibe Club isn't a diet. It's a place where I help clients unwind their diet thinking and reconnect to themselves after years of being out of touch with their body. Going all day without eating will always drive overeating at night. Vibe Club will give you a process for listening to your body's hunger and enough signals if you're willing to give yourself time to learn and listen. Welcome to Vibe Club!

Keto

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I started keto (again) two weeks ago. I’m doing it because I have insulin resistance and I’d like to lower my A1C/lose weight so I can get pregnant. I mentally committed to 6 weeks of keto to start. My question is how do I make it easier to stick to keto without exceptions? Also, I’ve struggled with all or nothing in the past. When is a good time to practice start allowing exceptions so that I’m not on again off again with keto/low carb?

Maggie's Answer

The way you make it easier is to create a very juicy story around your health. That story will have to be more compelling than eating whatever you want. If it feels heavy and like an unfair obligation, you will push back against it. Spend some time journaling and making a list of your "whys" that will carry you through when your brain starts to complain. I am glad you are noticing the all or nothing possibility that may be triggered by your decision. The cool thing about keto is that if you get fat adapted, your body switches back into ketosis quicker. So staying keto 4 weeks before eating off of keto may be helpful. But remember that advice wont help if that's simply not doable. You will have to play around with the frequency that works best for you and your body.

Ketones

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What brand of ketones do u drink? Do u have a code or link? Thank u!

Maggie's Answer

I drink pruvit ketones, mainly as a pre-workout and moodboost. I do not use them for weight loss. Link is thelowcarbllama.shopketo.com and my referrer code is: thelowcarbllama

Diet Mentality vs. Protocol

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Hi Maggie, I realized in June that my protocol was a little "loose," meaning that I didn't really have a definition as to how many exceptions I would allow, what constituted an exception, etc. I adjusted my protocol for July and that has helped me be more intentional with my planning. One thing that I wrote in my protocol was that I would allow more carbs(low carb bread/pasta) only on days when I worked out(lifting), and try to keep it lower carb(mainly protein, veggies, and some high fiber fruit) on days that I just walk. I'm starting to feel a little resistance to this as I've gone along, or like I can only allow those things if I "earn" them with a workout. I know that's not the mindset I need to have. Is this me slipping back into diet mentality, or just my brain pushing back on my protocol?

Maggie's Answer

What will always answer the question of "is this diet rules/mentality?" is what is the reason I am making this choice? "I can only allow those things if I earn them with a workout" is a diet rule around carbs. Aka: I can have carbs but only if I earn them. And even still they are low carb carbs. You are keeping a very tight grip on the rules of allowance. You don't have to earn food. My challenge to you is to add more carbs on days when you are not lifting. It will make your brain explode a little bit and we want that. Those negative feelings that come up are showing you the diet rules. The way to make peace with food is by challenging the rules and showing safety around the food. As always, listen to your body while you eat and stop at enough.

Planning exception meal

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I’m planning my first exception meal on Sunday. I’m mostly excited to practice not overeating and getting back to my “normal foods” right away, but there’s a part of me that’s scared this is going to derail me and lead to binging sugar for days. I’m doing a lot of journaling to dig into these conflicting feelings, and I’m working on putting together a plan if I do find myself wanting to binge the next day. I was just wondering if any of you have any tips or advice for when you have an exception meal? Have you ever felt the same way I do now? What’s helped you? Thank you!

Maggie's Answer

Give yourself credit for everything you are doing and how you are already thinking about it.Your planned exception doesn't have the power to derail you, but what you tell yourself afterwards does. So def decide what you are going to think afterwards. What are the sneaky things your brain usually says that leads to binging sugar for days? "it doesn't matter" "not in ketosis (if you're keto)" "enjoy yourself before you have to get back to being strict)-- figure out what the thoughts are for you and what to say back. I also want you to go to the place in your mind where you plan the exception, don't over eat and then get right back on your plan the next day. How proud are you? How good does it feel to have new evidence that you can have a different experience? Spend some time in that place. And remember that this is a learning experience and it takes practice.

Following your plan

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I’m brand new to vibe club. I’ve been working on making a plan and sticking to it, but I’ve already messed up twice. Now I feel guilt ridden like I’ve failed. I worked a very stressful shift all night, and I stuck to my plan yesterday. I came home and hubby wanted to go to breakfast. My plan was to sleep and eat a low carb dinner later on. Instead of doing that I went to breakfast. I chose a low carb meal but I had 1/2 a muffin and 2 cookies then I bought two truffles. How do you plan for spontaneity? Do you always say no to your spouse if the thing wasn’t planned? If you do say yes, how do you make the right choices when you didn’t plan it ahead of time? I’m not sure if this is the correct place to ask these types of questions, but I’m feeling pretty awful and disappointed in myself for my own choices….

Maggie's Answer

No such thing as messing up and I truly mean that. I want you to consider that it not possible to change years of behaviors in a week or from watching a video. You’re feeling awful and disappointed because the story you’re telling is “I already messed up twice” What about this story: “I am really becoming aware of the specific instances where I get tripped up with following my plan. And I’m reaching out for coaching so that I can overcome these things and get momentum. I’m proud of myself” I like that description so much more and I believe it’s absolutely true. I want you to go to the worksheet section and print some curiosity worksheets out and do one for this situation. Let me know what insights you get from it.

Treats and urges

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How do you handle foods that you feel are turning into addictions? I eat (in my opinion) exactly the way I want to for my health and for weight loss. I love cooking with vegetables. I truly enjoy my meals. But I can’t seem to stop with ChocZero chocolate. I was consistently losing weight until I found it about a year ago. I listened to the podcasts and went through the course and started adding choczero into my plan, thinking that would help me get it under control. Reasonable amounts, like one piece after a meal. But I can’t seem to stick to one. I’ll have four instead. Or an entire bag. 😳 It doesn’t seem emotional, I just LOVE the taste. And I’m struggling when it comes to not buying it and not ordering more, even though that’s the logical solution. I really feel like I can’t stop, and going through multiple bags a week is definitely contributing to me not losing weight. It’s my favorite food, small amounts don’t satisfy, and I can’t even talk myself out of buying it, much less talk myself out of having 3-5x what I plan. Any tips?

Maggie's Answer

Hi Jennifer! This is such a great question. First I want to show you some thoughts that are standing in the way of getting to the bottom of this: "choczero is a food that is turning into addiction" "I cant seem to stop with choczero chocolate" "I cant seem to stick to one" "I really feel like I cant stop" "I cant talk myself out of buying it" It absolutely makes sense that you arent stopping when you believe those things. And you are believing them because thats what you currently have evidence for. But you are not at the mercy of choczero. Each time you eat one, you are making a choice and that choice is probably fueled by one of the thoughts above. So two places to look: Kari was dead on that sometimes what is actually happening is ou didnt eat enough at prior meals so start there. second place is: if you didnt keep eating them, what would you have to feel? Deprived? Fomo? Disappointment? You may not feel like its emotionally driven but you may be continuing because you dont want to stop for an emotional reason even if its not super deep. But you dont get to avoid the disappointment or fomo. Because you are disappointed that you arent losing weight and youre missing out on the results you want. You get to choose your flavor of disappointment here. So start at those 2 places. TFD + feelings module could be helpful.

Overeating on birthday

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So yesterday was my bday and I was doing so well for breakfast and dinner. I haven’t had any slip ups since I started vibe club in January. I went a little nuts last night and could have kept going with food but I stopped bc I didn’t want to be seen “going overboard”. I was so mad at myself and couldn’t understand why this was happening. Why was I overeating?! I had a great bday filled with relaxing and laughter. I had to really sit with the why. I didn’t want to beat myself up over it happening bc I couldn’t change it but I could figure out why I was doing this. I always spend my bday dinner at my parents house. This is the first year it just didn’t work out but I will on Sunday. My husband, son and sister would have been super late so I moved the day. This was a real test bc this is the “worst” I’ve been since starting. I never thought of having a plan for the full day when I’ve been so good. I never stray. I did not anticipate such a big change having an affect on me. Isn’t it weird when it’s almost like we don’t have control over our own body in moments like that. I remember doing all of it but never thinking wow you should probably stop. Lastly I will say I was triggered bc I wasn’t even hungry for dinner but my husband went out of his way to plan something so I forced myself to eat…I didn’t want to make him feel bad so I made myself feel bad instead. Idk sorry for the rant. Really I’ve reflected on it all day. I only know now what I would have done differently. I could have taken a few bites and just said I was full..idk

Maggie's Answer

I want to acknowledge that you did choose to stop. You may not like your reason for it, but you did. So take credit for that. Second it is normal to have slip ups. Look at how you’re describing this as the “worst” you’ve been. What if we removed all the judgement? The fact is “I overate on my birthday”… what else could you make it mean? Could It just be that because you forced yourself to eat dinner you weren’t hungry for, you brain went crazy with the story of “well we’ve already overate and we’ve been so good since January. May as well eat all the things we haven’t been allowing?” What if that’s ok? That’s not an abnormal thing on this journey. What if in the future you simply say “I’m not hungry and I don’t want to eat or I won’t love how I feel”. Don’t ruin your day ruminating ❤️ The hindsight you have already gathered will help you next time this happens. And it will happen again at some point. And that’s ok. You are doing great. Enjoy the rest of your birthday weekend!

Planning for vacation

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I listened to the vacations podcast, but I’m struggling with what protocol to plan. I’m going on my honeymoon, and it has two parts. I’ll be going to Napa valley for 9 days. I come home for 2 days then I’ll be in Paris for a week. The reason I’m a little stuck is I really want to drink all the wine in Napa, eat food good, and eat the pastries etc while in Paris, but I don’t want to blow up like a balloon and yolo ot.

Maggie's Answer

If it were my honeymoon, I would absolutely prioritize enjoying the food and drinks. But I would also prioritize how I wanted to feel as well. My protocol would prob look something like the 50/50 protocol I discussed in the vacation module! Half of the day would be what I would normally do and most likely dinner and dessert (and a drink) would be just enjoying myself without overeating. Do you have your current protocol decided? What parts of your current protocol will work for you honeymoon? Overeating and binging on past vacations probably came from not having a realistic plan as well as feeling like you may as well go all out while you're eating all the things. It's absolutely possible to have a balanced vacation. You will need a thought plan too. What are the thoughts you want to have on your trip so that you can prioritize following your plan knowing that it is a fabulous doable mix of food that makes you feel great and food that is super fun. You also could decide to eat fun food at every meal and watch portions without overeating. That is an option as well. A honeymoon/vacation doesn't make or break your journey. If you aren't overeating constantly, you aren't going to gain a bunch of weight.

Determining goal weight

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What factors do you suggest I take into consideration when trying to determine my goal weight?

Maggie's Answer

I feel like this podcast will be super helpful as a resource: https://podcasts.apple.com/.../sustaining.../id1487143525...

Using pictures for inspiration

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Do you think it’s ok to use a pic of yourself where you liked the way you look as inspiration, body composition wise? I know you say not to look to the past and try to squeeze yourself into something that you were before…I guess it just depends on how that pic makes you feel? Good or bad about where you’re at? Thanks for your advice!

Maggie's Answer

At the end of the day the only thing that will determine how you feel about it is your thoughts about it. So pics aren’t good or bad. They are neutral. Our thoughts about them will create how you feel. My thoughts after I had my second baby and saw pics from before I got pregnant were “I can’t believe I have to do this again” “I can’t believe I gained 55lbs, I said I wouldn’t let this happen” “I looked so much better then” so for me, not helpful. I could have worked on changing my thoughts about those pics but I decided a better use of my time was focusing on who I would be every day and who I was becoming, not who I had been.

Adding in alcohol

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Ok I need a little help. I am making myself a more definite protocol and plan for my upcoming week. How do you work around adding in booze? I’ve had the thinking in the past, that if I have a drink I won’t lose weight. So do I put one drink on my plan everyday incase I would like a glass of wine? Or do I make it more of an exception only a few times a week? But it’s almost like if I say I can’t have it, I want it more 😂 A lot of the time I don’t even care to drink so I haven’t been adding it, but then I’m drinking off plan. Not sure what would work best.

Maggie's Answer

If you’re drinking regardless, plan a drink. Then it’s a choice and there is permission there. You can still lose weight while drinking but normally the issue isn’t the drink it’s drinking too much and then eating a bunch that we didn’t plan. Best way to figure it out is to practice and collect feedback!

Making/following plan when circumstances change

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I have difficulty making/following a plan when my husband has time off from work. I treat it as vacation even though we may not be going anywhere. Sleep is off, eating is off, whole routine goes out the window. He has off for 2 months (June and July) and I am nervous I will be less consistent with my vibe strategies. I know its all in my head. But it just seems difficult for me. I've done so well for May and he's been off since Saturday and I have not followed my plan since🤦‍♀️. It has begun🙄.

Maggie's Answer

This is really a great question and will be helpful to so many people who have changes in routine coming up with the summer. You already have identified the issue. Two things you are believing is that you have difficulty making and following a plan and you treat it as a vacation when he is home. But it's not any harder to make and follow a plan when he is home. You are just telling yourself those things above and then making choices not to prioritize sleep, eating or a routine. They don't have an ability to go out the window without your consent. You have a certain routine you've created when he is home. And its not currently working. So if you don't want your husband being home to activate yolo mode, you will have to change your thoughts about him being home. When he is home, you deprioritize your habits. If you want to do something different, you will have to choose to think something different. What changes do you need to make to your protocol/plan so it is realistic for when he has time off? Plan more fun food? Eat breakfast? There is going to be a balance of making the plan more doable and managing your brain around the fact that when he is home it isn't eat all the things time and put yourself on the back burner. How can you enjoy your husband and keep your promises to yourself so that you don't find yourself feeling terrible come august?

Emotionally eating

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I am emotionally eating bc I am sad and stressed. I am planning and doing my best and a day or two will hit me and I will choose one thing off my plan for the day that keep me in a consistent rinse cycle of 2 up and 2 down. I’m journaling and trying to wrap my brain around not being on a diet when all I want to do is lose weight and be on a diet. This is painful and I feel stuck. Several great days strung together but a day a two of off plan and I am right back where I started. I’m 3 weeks into VC and I’m just spinning. Journaling definitely helps. I’ve done it every day. My data tells me I’m 50% on plan so there’s my answer in the data. But the emotionally aspect of this is just very hard and I am struggling. Can’t talk to hubby about it. I keep it all inside. Any pearls of wisdom, I know I’m not alone. We are all recovering dieters

Maggie's Answer

Have you finished the weightloss course? I would go back through the feeling the feels lesson + the urges lesson. Your brain is presenting food as a solve. That makes sense. It's a well practiced pattern. So if you were absolutely unable to solve with food, how would you solve it? The alternative to eating emotionally is allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling without judgement. When you practice that you realize that you are capable of feeling any feeling. What is wrong with being sad? or stressed? Those are normal human emotions. But when we judge them as something going wrong, we use food to escape.

After vacation brain drama

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Hi! Just have to share my thoughts and get them out of my head. I had lost 28.6 lbs since december and have like 8lbs left to my end goal. And now with a crazy busy May and a vacation to Barcelona where i went completely off my usual plan ( i had planned to to that 🙈😂), i just feel like shit and have gained 3.5 lbs on that week. I know that i will lose most of it this week since it’s mostly water. But i’m just having some brain drama and those feelings of «i will never get to the end since i gained some weight now». I think i know what to do and have already made my plan for eating tomorrow and will try to stick to my plan from here on, but i can’t help those destructive thoughts like «omg i need to loose this fast», «how fast can i loose it» etc 😬❤️

Maggie's Answer

You've lost 29 lbs since December and gained a little vacation weight. It will literally be gone within the week, I'm sure. Have your own back. You made a choice to go off plan so that you could enjoy your barcelona trip. Your brain is just throwing up weightloss BS thoughts and I'm proud of you for noticing and addressing them. They are showing you where there is still some work to be done. Because if you dont address those thoughts, you will still have similar ones once you do reach your goal weight, they will just be a different flavor. So spend some time digging into the way your brain is panicking and making some vacation weight gain mean you will never reach your goal. Those are just very old default thoughts. And it truly doesnt matter if they come up. What matters is if you believe them.

Scale isn't moving

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Wrapping up May, and while I have been more consistent this month than I was in April as far as following my plan, my weight has not budged. It will go down but always pops back up. Is it time to look at my tightening up my protocol? I like and feel good with the way I am eating right now, and I feel like I’m doing pretty well with listening to my hunger and fullness cues. I have returned to lifting workouts 3-4x/week after a 6 week break…could that be keeping the scale where it’s at? Just a little frustrated that I haven’t seen the scale budge…

Maggie's Answer

Absolutely take into account the strength training. That always throws things off for me for a bit. But thats when I have to have the conversation that its very likely I am losing fat and gaining muscle. When ryan got his follow up dexa scan last year it showed that he had only lost 14 lbs but that was because he put on muscle and lost fat. Overall I think he lost 28 lbs of fat. The scale is not a good representation of fat loss. Stick it out.

Planning during vacation

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I’m reaching out because I’m struggling a little. I’m on part two of my honeymoon (we’re in Paris), but I def gained weight during part one. I can see it, and I def feel it. I want to enjoy Paris, but I’m almost afraid to indulge for fear of gaining even more weight. In the past, I have always done a yolo thing on vacation. Not this time. A huge win is that I didn’t pig out in Napa, and I even worked out 3 times. Despite that, I clearly ate too much because my clothes are super tight and my stomach is visibly bigger. It’s affecting my confidence for sure…. I’ll be here in Paris for a week, and I’m not sure what to do…. I’d appreciate any tips you have to offer.

Maggie's Answer

I would revist your original post from before your honeymoon. Reexamine what you planned to do. Are you doing that? What you are feeling in your body could simply be more bloat and water retention than youre used to. It could be digestion related (mine always gets jacked on vacay). You dont have to do anything drastic. Make a plan daily and while youre eating pay attention not to overeat. I dont want you ruining A TRIP IN PARIS with thinking that youve messed something up. Make sure to hydrate and give yourself credit for noticing what is happening you joined VC right before this trip so its probably not the easiest situation to learn hunger and fullness on your honeymoon. But as Becky said what happens on this trip does not determine your ability to be successful. As you have said, you are not going yolo mode. Celebrate that. Enjoy yourself and your honeymoon!

Restricting before vacation

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I need help with a decades-old habit. We are leaving on vacation in two weeks, and it’s been my habit during those 2 weeks to hardcore diet to reach my goal weight. That way I’ll have a “buffer” in case (in case??) I gain weight since I throw all common sense eating out the window. I am currently 7 pounds over goal, and some of my pants are getting uncomfortable, so there is no buffer anymore. I’m staying on plan, and loving the foods I eat, but I doubt I can lose even 5 in two weeks. My Inner Mean Girl is telling me to go back to what has worked in the past, but I don’t want to be that person anymore. Maybe I need to stop weighing every day. 🤷‍♀️ All suggestions/comments welcome.

Maggie's Answer

I want to take a second to just acknowledge what you are noticing. It is so normal for your brain to offer this. It’s something you have done and practiced. You brain hears “vacation in two weeks” and says ok it’s go time to lose weight as fast as possible! But you are noticing your diet thinking. And interrupting the pattern. Deciding not to crash diet leading up to the event and then deciding not to throw common sense eating out the window on your trip will create new evidence. And when we create new evidence we create a new identity! If it worked in the past, you wouldn’t be here doing this work. I’m so glad to hear planning and following your plan is going so well. What if instead, you spent the next 2 weeks really honing in on hunger and fullness so that you are fully prepped to show up for yourself on your trip?

Following alcohol plan

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Having a moment here, guys. Super frustrated with myself and not feeling good in my body. Having to try really hard to turn down the negative self-talk about how my body looks and why I’m not seeing the results I want to. Frustrated that I plan drinks and then always seem to have more than I plan. It’s leaving me resentful about planning for the week, which I know I need to do because future me is working this week, and planning on work weeks has been SO key for me staying on track!! I’m good on the food but the alcohol is tripping me up, especially with hosting BBQs and attending graduation parties and such. Why can’t I just do what I plan to and know will get me the results I want?! Sorry. Just not a great day mentally. 🥴

Maggie's Answer

Really dig into that question “why can’t I just do what I plan?” What’s the answer? What are the obstacles standing in the way? You’re doing the work and not every day will be easy. Not every day will be hard either. You know what to do next ❤️ Make a plan and dust yourself off.

Planning treats

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Want to discuss treat vs snack. I enjoy pb-filled pretzels at night, and plan for them. But, if I'm not hungry, how does that work? Can we just plan something that tastes good (I personally love the crunch and salt).

Maggie's Answer

If your body isn’t hungry, you don’t want to eat because then it’s being over fueled. However if there is a snack you love, I would account for it at dinner but possibly eating less. But the real way to know if it is a problem is if you are planning it and eating it, is your weight still going down?

Intuitive eating for kids

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I am trying to teach my four year old to listen to his body about when it’s full and sometimes he even says “my body is full” and he barley eats anything but I’m so proud he is listening but sometimes he eats way more than he should and says that his body was hungry. Idk do you have any tips that you teach your little ones? I don’t want my kids to be my age and still trying to figure this stuff out.

Maggie's Answer

I would check out amazon for books on intuitive eating for kids! I am def not an expert at this. The changes I have made are having more nutrient dense snacks available, buying less processed snacks (but not eliminating them. they still have plenty of snacks) and not pushing that they finish their food. I also speak very openly about paying attention to how food makes you feel in your body so my 6 year old can start noticing and he def has!

Overeating when frustrated

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I knew I was done halfway through the plate but I just kept eating- I was frustrated and frustration is definitely the emotion/feeling that gets me every time. I was frustrated that my kids were being crazy and not eating this more expensive than expected restaurant food, that my tween had the worst attitude, that nobody cared how hard I was trying, that the stupid scale finally hit 139 and then was back up to 140 today. I know i can’t control them but frustration is where my mind keeps going. Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with the frustration?

Maggie's Answer

It’s normal to feel like your kids are causing frustration but kids don’t cause feelings, thoughts do. Spend sometime exploring the frustrating thoughts you had. They will come up again. What can you choose to think on purpose instead? TFD Will come in handy You’re right, we can’t change how the kids behave. You can ONLY change how you respond. This is great news because it means you have the power! The issue is that you would have had to sit with that frustration if you didn’t keep eating. It’s also worth exploring, what’s so bad about frustration? It’s a vibration in your body. What if you got really good at handling frustration without eating? Who would you be on the other side of that frustration? (knowing it will pass for sure)

Starting over

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Hi! I’m recovering from Covid and seeking advice about where to begin. I got off to a bit of a rocky start with vibe club since I went on my 2 week long honeymoon and ended up stuck in Paris with Covid. I’m home now and starting to feel a bit better, but the fatigue and coughing are real. Anyway, I feel like I need to start over with the process, but I’m not even sure what that’ll look like as I’m still recovering. I just know I need do something because my clothes are getting way too tight for comfort. I’d appreciate any tips you have to offer 🥹

Maggie's Answer

You never need to start over! Just pick up exactly where you left off. And meet yourself where you’re at. Revisit the weightloss course where I teach all the tools. Make a plan. Follow that plan and listen to hunger signals. That will obvs be a bit wonky for a bit while you’re recovering❤️ feel better soon! Here’s the start here link! https://www.vibewithmaggie.com/members/start-here

Eating off plan

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Hi everyone. I need a little help. It’s been 5 days now of making choices that are not helpful for me. I’ve made my plan everyday and some of the 5 days have included the treats I planned to enjoy. But at this point I feel like I’m spiraling. I keep waking up with good intentions but by dinner time or lunch time I’m just eating all of the things. HELP!

Maggie's Answer

Are you filling out curiosity worksheets each day? What are you finding out? What are the thoughts that drive the urges to eat off plan? When I find that I am feeling all wonky for days in a row I really hone in on planning filling meals so I know I am managing physical hunger and I can rule out that it’s not a hunger issue. And then beyond that, I identify the thoughts that are screwing me. “It doesn’t matter” “it won’t hurt” “I’ll start over tomorrow”. And I sell myself on the opposite. You’re talking yourself into eating off plan. How can you talk yourself into following the plan instead? Juicify that story.

Urges while traveling

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Leaving for a short vacation this Friday, and while it wont be too hard to stay on plan while I’m in New York, my downfall is the travel home day. I have packed healthy options before (protein bars, rice cakes, grapes, etc), but none of it matters once I see the candy and chips at the airport gift shops. I know I’m tired, and just want to get home, and feel like I need massive amounts of sugar (I’m talking straight up family size bag of jelly beans), which then triggers my “need” for salt (hence, the chips). This back and forth continues through the hour-long drive home, because well, I wouldn’t want to starve or fall asleep at the wheel, right??? So, can I please get some ideas to help me break this habit? Maybe some things to say to myself?

Maggie's Answer

You have a good story about being on the trip but your thoughts about the travel home arent as juicy.. "My downfall is the travel home" "none of it matters once I see the candy and chips" "I need massive amounts of sugar" "just another chance to make an unhealthy decision" Those are the thoughts I want you to look at. They are setting you up to not trust yourself in advance. So instead of your brain imagining success its imagining doing what you dont want to do. Heres what I want you to question... does sugar and a big family size of jelly beans help you not be tired? Does it help you feel focused and great while youre driving? I know for me it would make me crash and get super fuzzy brained. Your brain is saying you will fall asleep or starve at the wheel, is that true? These are just thinking errors that if you evaluate you will see arent true. They are based off your old identity and what youve done in the past. But we are shifting that! Why are you totally strong enough to follow your traveling home day plan? How would it feel to come back from your trip and post here and say "I DID IT! I followed my plan and I didnt believe the old story my brain gave me!" What if instead you saw this as your opportunity to practice something new? What would you have to think instead to successfully follow your plan?