Vibe Club Coaching Call: Getting the scale moving; is eating to enough at night going to really be enough?

The Honeymoon Phase

When Ashley first joined Vibe Club in August, everything clicked. She was excited, motivated, and saw immediate results, losing 4 pounds in that first month.

But as September rolled around, the newness wore off and old patterns started creeping back in. Late night binges after dinner became her biggest struggle, leaving her frustrated and stuck.

The Sneaky Culprit

Despite her best efforts to eat intuitively and allow all foods into her diet, Ashley wasn't seeing the scale move. She couldn't understand why - until her coach Maggie helped her uncover a subtle but significant issue: not stopping at "enough."

You see, Ashley was eating past the point of comfortable fullness, especially at dinner. It wasn't a huge amount, maybe just a few extra bites here and there, but it was enough to keep her weight stable instead of decreasing.

As Maggie explained, "You're not overeating, except you're eating to maintain the size body you have right now. If you were eating less, it would be less fuel to support a smaller size body."

The Lowest Hanging Fruit

Instead of drastically cutting calories or eliminating food groups, Maggie encouraged Ashley to start with the path of least resistance: those moments when she was clearly ignoring her body's "enough" signal.

This meant getting curious about why she wanted to keep eating past fullness. Was it because the food tasted good? Or was she using it to cope with the stress and overstimulation of her busy life?

As a teacher surrounded by teenagers all day and a mom of young kids at home, Ashley realized she often felt depleted by dinnertime. Food had become her go-to way to check out and numb the noise in her head.

Reparenting Yourself

The key to breaking this pattern, Maggie explained, was learning to offer herself the same compassion and care she so readily gave to others.

Just like soothing a crying child, Ashley needed to sit with herself in those difficult moments and acknowledge the "big feelings" that were coming up, without trying to fix or change them.

This type of reparenting takes practice, especially for women who have spent their whole lives putting others' needs before their own. But with time and consistency, it allows true healing to occur.

The Cusp of Change

Although Ashley had yet to see the physical results she wanted, Maggie reminded her that all the mental and emotional work she had done was laying a vital foundation.

She was on the cusp of a breakthrough, and the key was to keep going, one bite at a time. To replace frustration with curiosity, judgment with compassion.

And as Ashley left that coaching call, armed with a newfound sense of hope and determination, she could feel a shift occurring. The very next day, the scale began to move, proving that she had been right there all along, perfectly on track.

The lesson? Weight loss is never just about the food. It's about learning to love, trust, and care for yourself on the deepest level. And when you have that, everything else falls into place.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Maggie: Hi, everyone. I just wanted to give you a little taste of what a coaching call is like in VibeClub because I do get that question about what group coaching calls are like. So [00:00:10] I wanted to do this bonus podcast where I share a coaching call that I actually talked about on the last podcast. I coached Ashley on VibeClub.

[00:00:18] Maggie: All the work she had been putting in, the [00:00:20] foundation that she had laid, and the frustration she was feeling about, like, where's my weight loss? Like, what's the difference between eating to maintain and eating to lose, and is it really going to be enough if I just [00:00:30] look at my overeating at dinner, and why am I so overstimulated by dinner?

[00:00:34] Maggie: We got into all of that within her. coaching call. And I want you guys to be able to hear [00:00:40] that so that you have an idea of whether or not Vibe Club is right for you. Just want to remind you that right now, if you use the code Black Friday at VibeWithMaggie. com, you will get 50 [00:00:50] off. And I always ask my clients, you'll hear me do it in this call to keep me updated.

[00:00:55] Maggie: And a few days after this call, Ashley gave me an update and I am going to go ahead and share that with [00:01:00] you after the call. I hope you enjoy it. Hello, Ashley. Hello, how are you? Oh, I'm hanging in there. Good. Good. Good. Okay. So [00:01:10] tell me kind of I got your submission Expectations versus reality your data Tell me like where your brain because I know that there's normally like a couple day laps Like where's your brain at today as far as [00:01:20] yeah

[00:01:20] Ashley: It's so funny because I was listening to you coach kristina right now and I was like, oh my god She's hitting so many points like that.

[00:01:26] Ashley: I feel I needed to hear. Okay, good. Um, You [00:01:30] So I joined in August, uh, the beginning of August and I felt like August was really easy and I think it's, it was that, you know, oh, this is new. Oh, this is exciting. You [00:01:40] know, Um, I did a lot of the front loading of absorbing information over the summer before I ever joined So when I joined I was like, all right, i'm in this I [00:01:50] don't have a problem with that.

[00:01:51] Ashley: Um, and I lost four pounds in august and that was really exciting for me because I was like, okay, this is working like You know, this [00:02:00] is what I need and I'm very dedicated to the process and then September hit and it was not as easy anymore Um a lot of stuff started coming up [00:02:10] and I have a really bad habit of late Night binging after dinner.

[00:02:16] Ashley: Okay, and so the more that I kind of [00:02:20] Was looking at my data and then that podcast on dirty data was like totally for me. I'm like, okay I don't think i'm being as completely honest with myself as I should be. Okay. [00:02:30] Um, I realized that my problem is Dinner and afterwards stopping at enough like and [00:02:40] it's more it's habitual, but it's also an urge And so I'm not having issues at breakfast.

[00:02:46] Ashley: I'm not having issues at lunch. It's all it seems to be all at night [00:02:50] and so what i'm struggling with now is that balance between like food freedom because One of the things that I love about the program is I don't feel like I [00:03:00] have to be scared of eating whatever I want Like I can plan what I want and I can eat what I want Um, but now I'm like, okay, so is that [00:03:10] halting my results or is it really the overeating that's halting my results?

[00:03:13] Ashley: Because I have not had any weight loss since August. Um, [00:03:20] and so I,

[00:03:22] Maggie: well, so, okay, so you're good. So let me, let me see here. So you are, [00:03:30] all your data you're planning every day. How often are you following your

[00:03:33] Ashley: plan? Um, it seems to be getting like worse and worse the more honestly [00:03:40] Okay And i'm a perfectionist so for me it's like I want to check the bubble like I want to you know Like I want to click the little bubble, but when i'm [00:03:50] honest with myself Um, i'm not stopping at enough like that is my so that's the main thing affecting Thing that's like making me not able to follow my plan [00:04:00] so to speak like I can eat the food that's on my plan You Yeah, there are days where I do go off sometimes and i'll have like a binge or something but god my binging has just [00:04:10] Dramatically decreased since I started this program.

[00:04:12] Ashley: So that's a huge win huge win. Yes And and realizing that it was a cross between habitual [00:04:20] and an urge, you know, and that I was using it to soothe Restlessness and anxiety, you know, and whatever comes at me at the end of the day, I'm a teacher. [00:04:30] And so I'm very overstimulated by the end of the day between my students and then my own family, you know, that I've been using food to cope with that tremendously.

[00:04:39] Ashley: [00:04:40] So, you know, I, but yeah, it's the stopping at enough. And, and, you know, it's like, how, how, what is the [00:04:50] wiggle room between three bites over and. Those extra three bites, you know what I mean? Like, is that really the difference between me seeing any [00:05:00] progress or is it a combination of that and the type of food that I, you wanna blame?

[00:05:06] Maggie: You wanna blame the food? I see you. Yes. But I guess my question back at you is like, [00:05:10] why not find out the answer to that question? Like, I, your brain went, I, you're saying a lot of stuff, but what I'm hearing is like, it's just stopping it enough is not gonna be [00:05:20] enough. That's not going to do it. And so with that underlying thought, which like I said, you didn't verbalize, but like everything you're saying is like, is that really, that is the type of like sneaky [00:05:30] thinking that justifies just eating a little bit more and just a little bit more is enough for you.

[00:05:34] Maggie: You're not gaining weight, right? No, not, I mean, you know, there's always that little fluctuation, but for the, for [00:05:40] the most part, you're not like, Oh, I'm trending up, up, up, up. Yeah. So it's like, you asked a question of like, is this like, it's, it's interesting the way you kind of describe it. It's like overeating [00:05:50] to maintain the, all that means is you're eating to support the size body that you have.

[00:05:55] Maggie: And that if you were eating less, it would be. Less fuel to support a [00:06:00] smaller size body, right? Like so it's not it and I think a lot of people will be like, well I'm not overeating. Well, you're you're not overeating Except [00:06:10] for you're eating to maintain the size body that you have right now And so depending if you I don't know how much weight you want to lose But like there will need to be eating less And so I don't want you to [00:06:20] fall into this thing where you feel like you have to cut a bunch of stuff out I would absolutely say why don't we just start with You The places where you're just not stopping it enough.

[00:06:29] Maggie: Because to me, [00:06:30] that's always the lowest hanging fruit. I always want you guys going for what's the easiest. Like, instead of cutting down our meals so that you're like, constantly hungry throughout the day, but you get a big dinner or something. Like, I [00:06:40] want you to look for the times where you're clearly just saying, I hear you, I don't care.

[00:06:44] Maggie: Like, I hear what you're saying, I don't care. I'm gonna keep eating. And that's kind of the way I like to view it. It's like our body being like, [00:06:50] that's good. And we're like, I don't care. I'm gonna keep eating.

[00:06:53] Ashley: And like, figuring out why. Well, when Christina was talking about, you know, like I was raised in a household, obviously also with, [00:07:00] you know, you clean your plate.

[00:07:01] Ashley: And so that's been, uh, you know, an issue that I've, I've had to be mindful about. And so I've started, you know, putting smaller portions of [00:07:10] things on my plate, but then even still I'll get to a point where there's like three bites left of something, you know, or like one bite left of something I'm like, Oh, it's only one bite, you know?

[00:07:18] Ashley: And so I'll take it. But [00:07:20] then I realized I really shouldn't have taken that last bite. I really was at enough and so I went past it You know and being honest with myself about that um [00:07:30] Yeah, I it's a combination of Is, is it enough or am I really just saying like, Oh, well, [00:07:40] whatever. It's just one bite. It's just, you know, two bites.

[00:07:42] Ashley: It is enough if you do it

[00:07:43] Maggie: consistently. Yeah. It's not enough if you, if you leave those three bites once every 12 [00:07:50] days, no, I promise you that won't be enough. It'll probably keep you right where you're at, but enough of like, yes, if I do this consistently and then maybe like, I didn't bring it up with [00:08:00] Christina, but it was something that came to my mind.

[00:08:01] Maggie: And one of the ways you guys can solve this. the cleaning your whole plate, serve yourself less. I am one of those people where like, yes, I can make peace with like, save [00:08:10] half the meal, that kind of stuff. But to me, I always like, I'm gonna serve myself this amount and then if I want more, I'll get more. So to me, that was always like, I do get to finish my plate most of the time.[00:08:20]

[00:08:20] Maggie: I don't have to feel that loss that some of you have such a hard time feeling with like, I don't want to throw this away. It was so good. I can't even save this. This is wasting, you know, all that thought. I just serve myself [00:08:30] less and I don't

[00:08:31] Ashley: know if that's my passing. You know? Oh yeah. Like, well, when I go out to eat, I've started doing that.

[00:08:37] Ashley: Like, you know, cutting half of the burger or putting half of the under. [00:08:40] Yeah. Cause like portions. Yes. And, and I realized, Oh, this is plenty. Like it's fine. I can eat the other half later, you know, I mean, the amount of progress I've made [00:08:50] in other areas, like weekends, you know, going out to eat, eating in a social situation, like it's crazy, but like I said, like now I'm at this point where I'm like [00:09:00] frustrated because.

[00:09:01] Ashley: Okay, I've made all of this progress in these other areas, but I'm

[00:09:05] Maggie: not seeing it. You want to know where's my reward? Yes. The reward is the [00:09:10] piece. I know. For now. You know what I mean? Yeah. But that should be highlighted. Yeah. Because you're not the only one who feels like, so many of you fall into this where you're like, I [00:09:20] have made so much progress.

[00:09:21] Maggie: Where is my weight loss? Yeah. And you, and I, I get that. I get that. That is so hard to be like, I'm binging so much less. How am I not losing weight? I'm [00:09:30] not doing this stuff on the weekend, like where is my results because we want, we want payment. Yeah. We want payment in on the scale.

[00:09:37] Ashley: Yes.

[00:09:38] Maggie: And that's coming [00:09:40] because you are setting such a good foundation, but the more you get in your head, like I've already done enough work, like, cause sometimes you guys don't realize you're right at the cusp of, [00:09:50] of the scale.

[00:09:51] Maggie: And I don't mean the, the weight scale, but the scales tipping in the favor of what you want. Yeah. And we, we sit back and we're just like, I've just. [00:10:00] Pay me for my work, for all my hard work. And right now, the reward has to be in the non scale victories. I know it's so annoying, [00:10:10] but if you can stay in that energy of how far you've come and how much progress you've made in a matter of a couple months and then be like, and now we're at the nitty gritty part where in order for me to lose weight, I'm [00:10:20] going to need to eat less.

[00:10:21] Maggie: Lucky for me, I have a very obvious place where I'm eating more. Then I ended up eating.

[00:10:26] Ashley: I even cut out my afternoon snack. I [00:10:30] realized last month that I wasn't eating it because I was hungry. I was eating it more out of habit and a fear of getting too hungry before dinner. And I [00:10:40] do, I have this like fear of being hungry.

[00:10:42] Ashley: And so I feel like I have eaten so much throughout the, you know, a lot. For the last couple of years but out of [00:10:50] that like drama of not wanting to be hungry because I had starved myself Exactly in the past, you know, like I hated that feeling so Yeah, I mean, [00:11:00] so then again, I'm like, okay, well, I skipped a snack.

[00:11:02] Ashley: So why am I not seeing?

[00:11:05] Maggie: I know, but I guess one question I have just as far as like the literal logistics of it. [00:11:10] Have your other meals gotten bigger at all breakfast, lunch or dinner? I don't

[00:11:15] Ashley: think so. Um, like in all [00:11:20] honesty, I, there's like no drama for breakfast or lunch for me, like whatsoever. And even when I'm at work, which is huge, because again, I'm a teacher, I'm, you know, there's people at me constantly.

[00:11:29] Ashley: Yeah. [00:11:30] Even at lunch, I'm so good about, you know, like I, I get that sigh and I'm like, okay, and I close my container and I put my container, you know, like I'm done. And so what's different

[00:11:39] Maggie: [00:11:40] at night you get, you get that sigh, I assume your hunger system probably worked the same at dinner. So you get that sigh and then tell me what happens in your brain.

[00:11:48] Ashley: This is so good. It's [00:11:50] only two bites left, you know, like, Um, you, you, you stopped at enough during breakfast and lunch. You know, it's not that big a deal [00:12:00] if I have, you know, the last little bit of what's remaining. Okay. So

[00:12:05] Maggie: your brain, okay, dinner time you eat, you're like, Oh, I think I've had [00:12:10] enough, but there's three bites left.

[00:12:11] Maggie: And the thought you have that comes to your, my head is like, it's so good. And I'll even, I'll even add in two thoughts for you. It's so good and there's only two bites left. What [00:12:20] do you need to hear in that moment when your brain is telling you, it's so good, there's just a couple bites left?

[00:12:26] Ashley: I can have more later if I still want [00:12:30] it.

[00:12:30] Ashley: Do you buy that though? Why don't you buy that? I mean sometimes I do Sometimes I do I can talk myself, you know out of that moment And then there's [00:12:40] other times I don't know. I just i've used food to cope with To push down all of those thoughts for so long. It's making me emotional just talking [00:12:50] about it.

[00:12:50] Ashley: No, it's fine like I have, I've used it to push aside all of those other thoughts. And so at the end of the day, when my [00:13:00] brain is just spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning, it's the, it's the easiest, quickest go to, to.

[00:13:07] Maggie: Quiet, all of that. And that's the thing for [00:13:10] most of you that find that you have struggles with nighttime eating.

[00:13:12] Maggie: I want you to kind of see like, especially for those of you, I fall into this camp as well. Breakfast, no problem. Lunch, no. For those, for [00:13:20] anybody on this call or listening to this replay who is hearing that and being like, same with me, breakfast and lunch are no problem. I want you to consider that there's a bit of a pressure cooker happening in the background.

[00:13:29] Maggie: [00:13:30] That pressure cooker, the top pops off at Whatever time 6 p. m. 5 p. m. 7 p. m. Whatever where all of a sudden all the thoughts all of the stress of the day [00:13:40] Really has you being like I don't care. I have been touched that I have been yelled at I have been needed I have been tugged constantly constantly. I don't care.

[00:13:49] Maggie: It's [00:13:50] three bites. Give me a break And as hard as that is, that's the, that's the exact time. That's the time when you're on the clock. That's the time when you have to be like, this is that, this [00:14:00] is this old thing I have. But you know what you have to realize is when you've, when you've used that as a way to stuff for so long, unfortunately the food dampens the feelings.[00:14:10]

[00:14:10] Maggie: So you guys can only imagine what happens when we take away the food. The feelings come up, which feels bad, but is very good.

[00:14:17] Ashley: Yeah.

[00:14:18] Maggie: You know, it just allows you to [00:14:20] be like, Oh my gosh, I am, cause that's going to be my flip side of what I want to talk to you about really quickly is what are you doing for the overstimulation?

[00:14:28] Maggie: What are you, cause sometimes the focus [00:14:30] doesn't need to be on you being better at enough. It has to be on you giving yourself what you need so that eating pasta enough doesn't need to be your main tool in your toolkit.

[00:14:39] Ashley: Yeah. [00:14:40] Um, well, for a minute I was trying to, I was like watching a show with my husband, you know, and we would sit there and I'm like, okay, let me check out, you know, like, let me get involved.[00:14:50]

[00:14:50] Ashley: And then that was not good because then I wanted, I wanted to reach for food while I was trying to check out, you know, mentally, so. So I realized that was not good. Um, [00:15:00] I read and I also, um, publish like books on the side. And so I will go and, you know, immerse myself in a book or whatever. I've [00:15:10] tried walking on the treadmill.

[00:15:11] Ashley: Um, I have walked out of the kitchen, you know, set a timer, put myself in, you know, my computer chair or, or whatever, or [00:15:20] just laid down. There was one night where I was fighting an urge so bad that I paced around my my room like with my hands on my head and was like talking to myself [00:15:30] out loud like you don't need the food that's not what you need right now you know like i mean so well

[00:15:37] Maggie: and i think you and i have touched on that a little bit maybe in the facebook [00:15:40] group i want to just highlight that that feeling and that experience That's resisting an urge, for sure.

[00:15:46] Maggie: And the telltale way you know is if you're just like, it was you, right? It [00:15:50] was like something about clenching your fist, something like that. Okay. Yes. My memory serves me sometimes. But yeah, that is literally you being like, I know the pink elephant is a dumb example that everyone uses. We're like, [00:16:00] don't think of a pink elephant.

[00:16:00] Maggie: Don't worry. It's like, oh, that's all I can think of. Don't eat the food. Don't eat the food. You don't need it. You don't need it. You don't need it. Sometimes what I want to invite for you guys in that moment is like, the [00:16:10] compassionate. Why do you want the food? Like, I want you to just see how it's so different than just like, don't, you don't, you can tell like that you're constricting, you're [00:16:20] stressed out.

[00:16:20] Maggie: You're saying, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it until like you're going to explode. It's like at that point, like eating the food is going to give you a massive amount of relief when really what we need in [00:16:30] those moments is we need someone to sit with us. And what I think is cool is that we can do that with ourselves.

[00:16:36] Maggie: We have to kind of just be the like, oh, like, do you have kids? [00:16:40] You have kids and you're around kids all the time. You know what it's like to comfort a kid, to be like, you know, like I want you guys to kind of see like two parts of you, of like you have this part of [00:16:50] you that's like this kid that's freaking out and like you know what it's like to comfort a kid that can't really be comforted and like they just kind of need someone to sit with them and show them like I know I get it wow like [00:17:00] you're feeling like big feelings like this is big this feels important this is I want you to start practicing that with yourself because I guarantee

[00:17:08] Ashley: you've got experience.

[00:17:09] Ashley: Yeah [00:17:10] no yeah and but I I I wonder if that's part of where I struggle is that, you know, like I give so much of myself to other people all day long. I teach teenagers. And so [00:17:20] it's not the little, little kids, but even still like sometimes they're, what they need is much bigger than, you know, what a smaller child would need.

[00:17:28] Ashley: And then, you know, and [00:17:30] then coming home and doing that for my own children, you know, and my husband and running a household, you know, and all of those things. And so it's like, by the end of the day, I don't feel like I have, Any [00:17:40] compassion left for myself. So what do I do? I turn to food You know, like I turn to the food because it allows me to check out it allows me to shut my brain off, you know and so [00:17:50] When you said that like why do you need the food?

[00:17:53] Ashley: I need to have that conversation with myself more I need to sit in that moment more and You know, it [00:18:00] takes energy. It takes mental energy that sometimes by the end of the day, I don't have. I

[00:18:05] Maggie: want you to consider just lazy ways to do it. And when I say [00:18:10] lazy, what I mean is low effort. Like, does it involve you just like asking your partner to take care of the, like, I need to go lay horizontally, please.

[00:18:19] Maggie: Yeah. Like, whatever, [00:18:20] because you're not the only one that falls into this, like, mom, wife, business, job, giving, giving, giving. Like, what, now I'm supposed to, like, parent myself? I've been parenting every, like, [00:18:30] you know, but that's where you have to remember that you deserve that love and compassion and attention as well.

[00:18:36] Maggie: And if you don't have energy for it, that needs to be addressed, you [00:18:40] know, as well as trying to find some more energy or finding places to cut to give yourself more of that energy is also like, what's the laziest way I can do this? Is it a bath? Is it [00:18:50] whatever? But like, yeah, having that conversation of like, There's nothing wrong with the fact that you've done it with food.

[00:18:55] Maggie: If there's any shame around that, that like there's been binging and there's been emotional eating and then that's the way you [00:19:00] stuff for all your life. You know, you had emotion come up around that. If there's any shame, like it's time to let that go. There's no need to feel shame around that. It's just the main tool that you've had.

[00:19:08] Maggie: No one faults you for [00:19:10] that. Do not fault yourself for that. Most of, like, none of us were taught anything else. Yeah. I'm 34 and I'm just like, oh, okay, I need to breathe. Oh, I need to put my shoulders down. Cool. Could [00:19:20] someone have told me this in kindergarten? Like, yeah. Unfortunately, we all have to, like, learn to reparent ourselves right now, and it is hard work, but you also have the skills already.

[00:19:28] Maggie: Yeah. You just have to turn [00:19:30] them. on yourself.

[00:19:31] Ashley: And that's where my frustration is like, you know, it's like, okay, I'm, I'm doing the work. Like, I know I have the skills. I know I've made this progress. I know that [00:19:40] I have changed so many things just in the last three and a half months, you know,

[00:19:45] Maggie: so. You're unlocking phase two.

[00:19:47] Maggie: That's what's happening. Okay. And [00:19:50] you should be so grateful like to have that foundation because like kind of like you said and kind of the way you came into this call it's like I have this foundation but like it's also kind of annoying because like I haven't been losing weight but I've been [00:20:00] making all these great changes that make me feel more peaceful around food and like I'm not binging all the time but like you know I want you to see like.

[00:20:06] Maggie: this has all been part of it. This has all been part of the setup. This is what [00:20:10] I'm always talking about.

[00:20:11] Ashley: Yeah. I need that reassurance because that's exactly how I feel like you rolling your eyes right there. That's how I'm feeling. Thank you so much. This is so great. Like, [00:20:20] yeah, because I do, I maybe, you know, you can kind of like, you know, as like a weight loss plateau, you know, when I counted calories and, you know, and.

[00:20:27] Ashley: Did all of that craziness, like, [00:20:30] you would hit those moments where you wouldn't see, you know, the scale move and then it's like, okay, so now what's the next drastic thing that I have to do? And I feel myself going back to that [00:20:40] mentality, you know, like I said, like, do I change my food? Do I, you know, start tracking this?

[00:20:45] Ashley: Like, you know, isn't that

[00:20:46] Maggie: so interesting how your brain wants to go everywhere other than [00:20:50] stopping? where you're overeating. Like, that's what's so impressive to me and when it comes to weight loss and plateaus and things stalling, that's how it works. We lose a little weight, things chill. We look and when it's [00:21:00] chilling, we don't realize that we just need to keep going and instead we're like, okay, let's do something that's so drastic that I start overeating because I went too drastic when really the goal is like keep going and if [00:21:10] you're going to make a shift, make a small shift and that small shift for you is dealing with that enough.

[00:21:14] Maggie: Yeah, you don't need to like go. Your brain is just like something else, like anything but the thing. [00:21:20]

[00:21:20] Ashley: And I'm getting frustrated with that because like there's times where like I stop and I'm like, okay, cool. Like that. All right. I got it. Like that was perfect. I feel good. I don't feel like I [00:21:30] overdid it.

[00:21:30] Ashley: And then like the next time it's like three bites and I'm like, gosh, I should have stopped, you know, like I could have stopped. And so I'm getting frustrated with myself in that [00:21:40] moment. And, but again, I keep trying to remind myself, okay, but you're learning, you're still learning. This is not going to happen overnight.

[00:21:47] Ashley: You need to, it's practicing, you know, it's like you say, [00:21:50] putting in the reps, one of the best analogies that I've ever heard to help me or anybody else with that, you know, it's like, you have to keep practicing. with [00:22:00] certain foods, you know, I remind myself of that all the time because there are certain foods that I, I have continued to overeat this entire time, but every time it's less and less and less, you know, so, okay, I'm, I'm getting [00:22:10] there.

[00:22:10] Ashley: I'm getting to that point. Just

[00:22:11] Maggie: about to tip. And in those moments where you don't nail it, where you don't nail the rep, where your weights go down, right, where you're like, oh, I'm not as strong as I thought I was, which happens [00:22:20] with weightlifting and it happens with this process in any process, that's when we bring in the curiosity.

[00:22:24] Maggie: Anytime you're like, damn it, I should have stopped, I want, that's the shame voice coming in. We're not listening to that voice [00:22:30] anymore. We're going to get really curious. Two days ago, I did this just fine. Today, there was, I didn't. What, what happened? Like, exactly how you would ask a kid if you weren't trying to shame the [00:22:40] kid.

[00:22:40] Maggie: It'd be like, what's wrong with you? I thought you did it fine two days ago. What happened? What's changed since two days ago? Like, we talk to ourselves like that instead of like, hey bud, what? What happened? Some [00:22:50] things were a little bit different this time. You know, amazing you did it the other day. What, what was going on for you today that made it a little bit different?

[00:22:55] Maggie: And you may find there was a need that wasn't met. There was distraction. So you went a little [00:23:00] further without realizing it. Like get the answer to that question in the most compassionate way possible. Don't beat it out of yourself

[00:23:06] Ashley: with shame, judging yourself. Shame is real. I, the more [00:23:10] you bring it up, the more I feel, I feel that like, I think that's what Is this underlying kind of emotion behind what's going on is [00:23:20] I'm shaming myself.

[00:23:21] Ashley: You've gotten to yourself to this point You you know, you you've eaten like this for so long and and that's why you're where you're at. This is your phone. Yeah [00:23:30] Yeah, yeah. No,

[00:23:31] Maggie: it's not

[00:23:36] Maggie: does that enough to chew on for the next little bit? Yeah,

[00:23:39] Ashley: for sure You [00:23:40] feel like it's gonna get you Yeah, no, I needed this. Thank you. I I appreciate knowing that i'm i'm where I need to be, you know, like I Like I said, I [00:23:50] know I've done work. I know I have done work. I jumped in with both feet. Like I, this is what I need and what I want for my life moving forward.

[00:23:58] Ashley: And so [00:24:00] to know that I'm just on the cusp of. you know, going into that next phase is the motivation, I think, you know, just the reassurance that I need, like, [00:24:10] well, in that

[00:24:11] Maggie: thought that you just said, like, truly, like, I'm just on the cusp, like, how, what emotion does that thought not feel like I've done so much work and [00:24:20] all the other thoughts we've talked about, but the thought, I have put in the work.

[00:24:23] Maggie: I jumped in with both feet and I am on the cusp of the change that like I came here for like, how does that make you [00:24:30] feel

[00:24:31] Ashley: hopeful? You know, like I have experienced so much more peace in the past couple months around food around. [00:24:40] You know, like food has been such a driving force in my life and and it has Like controlled my thoughts for so long and the [00:24:50] older that i've gotten the more i've beat myself up over Choices i've made in regards to food, you know and things like that and like even now just realizing like the habits and the Emotions and things that i've [00:25:00] used food to cover up, you know is crazy, but I, I know that this is where I'm supposed to be, and this is the process that I need to move past [00:25:10] this.

[00:25:10] Ashley: And so, like you said, hearing that and thinking about that, it just makes me hopeful. Like, I, I know I'm on the right path. I just need [00:25:20] to keep going.

[00:25:23] Maggie: It's like, sometimes that's the magic hat that most people just avoid. They just like don't even see it. They're just like, I don't know, quitting [00:25:30] just feels like it would be easier.

[00:25:31] Maggie: It's like, the reason I'm highlighting that is because when you're stuck in that frustration, feeling like you're owed something, like I'm owed my result, I've been doing the work that is going to have you taking [00:25:40] action from frustration. If you can just, Remind yourself every single day, even in the like journal prompts in the planner.

[00:25:46] Maggie: Like, what can I tell myself if I have the desire to overeat? Like, I want you [00:25:50] to put there every single day over and over. I am on the cusp right now. We are right. The scales are like, we are right here. This is not the time to quit. It's the time to just get a little bit [00:26:00] more precise in one specific place.

[00:26:01] Maggie: And I want you to just keep reminding because that's going to create hope instead of frustration and resentment and the desire to quit and the desire to like make it easier or [00:26:10] do something more intense. That's the reason I wanted to highlight the change between when you guys say things like I can see your energy change There's one that's just like oh, I'm fed up And then [00:26:20] there's one that's like I'm where I'm supposed to be like amazing thought to think I've really done a good job I've made a lot of amazing thoughts to think everything you just wrapped it up with [00:26:30] It's like, that's, there are going to be two paths in your head.

[00:26:33] Maggie: That's the one I, this one will be blabbing like a little yippie dog. It has been for the last

[00:26:38] Ashley: couple weeks.

[00:26:38] Maggie: I know, I hear you, like [00:26:40] we've been, I know, you've been a voice in my head for a really long time. Thank you. No, and then put your focus on that other voice, okay? Okay. Keep me [00:26:50] updated, which you do a good job of.

[00:26:51] Maggie: All right. Thank you so much. You're so welcome. Four days after that coaching call with Ashley, I received this update, Maggie, I swear my coaching call on Sunday was [00:27:00] exactly what I needed. Since that day I have been on fire. My focus has been fixated on stopping it enough at dinner, really listening to my hunger, especially when I've had to pivot because my schedule has been weird this week [00:27:10] because I'm off for work and have nailed it for the past four days.

[00:27:13] Maggie: Just tonight we went out to eat and I purposely ordered less because I know from past experience I could never eat the entire plate of what I usually order [00:27:20] and I didn't want the drama Now know that I don't need to eat as much as I have in the past. The portion discussion we had too has been on my mind as well, and it was perfect.

[00:27:29] Maggie: I cleared my plate [00:27:30] and I felt so good. I even passed on frozen yogurt afterward because I did not want it. I wasn't hungry and it didn't sound good to begin with. There was no drama and I made a decision [00:27:40] and that was it. And literally the day after our call, the scale moved. I was right there, and even though my victories are far beyond that number, it was good to see the payoff after all that frustration.

[00:27:49] Maggie: I know one call [00:27:50] doesn't mean that it will all be smooth sailing from here on out, and I still have so much to learn, but it gave me the confidence to keep going, and I just want to say thank you. I'm going into Thanksgiving tomorrow with a mindset I have never felt [00:28:00] before. I know I can stop it enough. I know I can eat more later if I want to when I'm hungry.

[00:28:04] Maggie: Thank you, thank you, thank you for this program and for sharing your knowledge with this group. I am so thankful for you this year. [00:28:10] It made me so happy to receive that update from her after that coaching call. Group coaching is so powerful. And if Vibe Club is something that you feel ready for, and you're ready to do [00:28:20] that work, and create a new relationship with food, and your weight, and your body, and the holidays, and the new year, Vibe Club is the place to do that.

[00:28:28] Maggie: So again, use code BLACKFRIDAY [00:28:30] at VIBEWITHMAGGIE. COM to save 50 off the joint fee.

Vibe Club Coaching Call: Getting the scale moving; is eating to enough at night going to really be enough?