[00:00:00] Maggie: How much weight have you lost since joining? Uh, 60

[00:00:03] Monika: pounds.

[00:00:05] Maggie: Did you say 60 pounds? Like

[00:00:06] Monika: zero, yes, 60.

[00:00:07] Maggie: Since joining Vibe Club? [00:00:10] What? I did not know that. Congratulations. On this bonus episode of the podcast, I wanted to give you guys a little peek into what a coaching call is really like in Vibe Club. [00:00:20] Vibe Club is my virtual coaching membership, and we have decided to close enrollment for the year on October 3rd.

[00:00:26] Maggie: Enrollment will not be opening up again until 2022. So if you've been on the [00:00:30] fence, make sure you sign up at vibewithmaggie. com before midnight on October 3rd. Hello, Monica.

[00:00:37] Monika: Hi. How are you? So [00:00:40] good. So excited.

[00:00:42] Maggie: I know, I'm so excited. When was the last time we coached? I think it was back in May. Does not just feel like forever ago.[00:00:50]

[00:00:50] Monika: I know. I was thinking about it. I'm like, Oh, but I'm doing so good. I don't really need any help. And I'm like, yes, I do. Yes. I do help. I need that missing piece to [00:01:00] make my life smooth as butter.

[00:01:02] Maggie: Yeah. Yeah. And I love that you guys don't have to always feel like you need some like earth shattering coaching where it's like, people [00:01:10] will want to reach for coaching when they're like, everything is a mess.

[00:01:12] Maggie: Everything's a disaster. I have no idea what to do. And that place almost is such a place of spinning confusion. That coaching can even be hard because we're [00:01:20] just like indulging in that confusion of like, Oh, you know, but just know for everybody, you don't need some hue. You don't need to be like in a state of emergency to submit, to get [00:01:30] coached.

[00:01:30] Maggie: You can just be like, Oh, there's just this thing that I'm not quite getting. So I'm going to read some of the stuff that, and did you guys all plan this? Did you all get together? And you're like, let's all SOGs, let's unite [00:01:40] and we'll all submit to be coached. No,

[00:01:42] Monika: definitely not me. Cause, uh, you know, I'm like the one behind of the scenes on the Facebook group, I don't really, I read [00:01:50] everything, but I'm not big on posting.

[00:01:52] Maggie: Yeah. Yeah. And I remember you saying that, and that's another great thing for everybody. Cause we've had a lot of new people recently. I'm closing down vibe club [00:02:00] through the end of the year. It's only open for like another week. And so that's another good thing to know. You guys don't have to be like posting in the Facebook every, like it just meets everyone where you're at.

[00:02:08] Maggie: So I love hearing about the [00:02:10] success that you've had, despite like not being Volunteering to get coached every call, posting everything in the Facebook group, you know, being super extroverted in the group, you know, [00:02:20] I'm going to read a little bit about what you said, because I think it's important for people to hear what's possible for when you start versus when you've been at it for a while.

[00:02:29] Maggie: So you said [00:02:30] as the OG, which I love that you claim that I can attest that I have had a lot of resistance to everything and anything that you have told us to do make a 24 hour plan. What? No. [00:02:40] Do daily vibe checks. What? I don't think so. I don't have time for that. Now, almost a year later, all of that is my second nature.

[00:02:47] Maggie: I don't even think twice about a plan or vibe [00:02:50] checks. So I know what struggle, um, what I struggle with will come to me as well, but I need help on how to only eat when I'm hungry and stop when I've had enough. I tried waiting [00:03:00] 15 minutes and then still always think, Hmm, no, I can totally eat. this, but I'm not sure if it's because it's yummy as I only eat yummy foods or if it's just because I'm truly not hungry.

[00:03:09] Maggie: And I know you've talked about [00:03:10] that before. You love your food. You love the food that you're eating. And now, so kind of tell me where you're at with like, what does that look like in the last couple of days? Like eating one hungry, stopping at enough. [00:03:20]

[00:03:20] Monika: So this is the first thing that, um, I have to say, I, this is the only thing ever that I've started with you that I didn't have any resistance to.

[00:03:28] Monika: And the only reason [00:03:30] why is because I have so much data collected over the year that anything you say feels to me, like, I don't want to do it at first. [00:03:40] It's just, it's just, you're just

[00:03:41] Maggie: used to like the immediate resistance. That's like, no, I'm not going to do that. Okay.

[00:03:46] Monika: So I'm like, I already, I'm prepared for this.

[00:03:48] Maggie: Yeah.

[00:03:48] Monika: This [00:03:50] fullness, um, I feel like it's a lot of work at the moment because I have to be conscious and I'm a mom, a busy mom. I have my job. So for [00:04:00] me to think about it now, I have to sit here in front of my plate of this yumminess because thanks to you, I only put food that excites me on my plan. I never have anything shitty on my [00:04:10] plan.

[00:04:10] Monika: I'm not excited about, so I'm always excited to eat, but now I'm so excited. And I have to sit here and think, but am I actually hungry? Oh, but do I want to eat all of it? Or like, should I split it [00:04:20] in half and then wait a little bit? Like, because my weight is sort of, and I'm okay with this. Like I'm even okay to stay where I am.

[00:04:26] Monika: Like, even if I don't, I look awesome, I think. [00:04:30] So, but I think maybe I can take this. I can level up and take it a step further. Um, and maybe have the best body I [00:04:40] had in my entire life. However, to do this, I would need to drop a couple of more pounds. Okay. And the only missing piece for me right now is that perhaps I'm just eating for [00:04:50] maintenance.

[00:04:50] Monika: So I would have to eat a little bit less, but I don't particularly feel full or I feel like, Oh, I I'm overeating. [00:05:00] Yeah, after each meal when I'm done. So I don't know. I don't know.

[00:05:04] Maggie: Yeah. So yeah, totally. So it feels like So [00:05:10] Tommy, are you maintaining your weight right now? Like within a certain amount? So how long has that been going on for

[00:05:15] Monika: for a month now

[00:05:16] Maggie: for a month?

[00:05:16] Maggie: Okay. So, you know, that like generally what you're eating right now is [00:05:20] working. It's keeping you just where you're at. And I also want, you mentioned something, you said, I'm okay to stay where I am. And can I just say that, like, I feel like that has been one of [00:05:30] my worst, like my least helpful thoughts because it feels like.

[00:05:36] Maggie: This is fine. This is what's the problem here. And I [00:05:40] have found that, that I I'm trying to decide, do we have a problem here or not? And so for anybody who's struggling with that, who gets into this thing, [00:05:50] because I feel like I've seen a lot of discussions lately, they're just like, I used to be so uncomfortable.

[00:05:54] Maggie: Like there used to be such a drive to like, feel better in my body. And then Once you've lost [00:06:00] a good amount of weight and, or like, you're at a point where you literally could be like, no, this could be like, I could literally just be like me, we maintain here, we start to kind of feel like, I kind of feel like I should be doing more, [00:06:10] but I kind of don't want to do more or I kind of start, but then we always revert back to like, but this is fine.

[00:06:15] Maggie: I look great, which all are, which are all great thoughts, but you just have to [00:06:20] decide what you actually really want and know that those thoughts of like, but this is fine. But it doesn't really matter. Why should we stop? Why should we be conscious? Why should we do this [00:06:30] work? We're fine. It looks, we look great.

[00:06:32] Maggie: Does that resonate for you that like those kinds of thoughts, is that what's prevent, is that contributing at all to you continuing to like, keep [00:06:40] trying with the hunger stuff?

[00:06:41] Monika: Well, you know what? I never thought about it until you mentioned it. Potentially because I am at such a happy place in my life.

[00:06:48] Monika: Like even with my, [00:06:50] my husband, you know, he thinks. It was, what do you mean? Like, you can't lose any more weight. You're going to be like a bone rack. You look so great. Like you have a lot of people like that. Yeah. Less than, you [00:07:00] know what I mean? But like, I'm like, but maybe I can go a little bit farther, but like, he says it's okay, everybody else is okay.

[00:07:05] Monika: My doctor thinks I'm okay. Like he thinks I'm in the best shape of my life. He doesn't even [00:07:10] know like, what did you do Monica to get so healthy? Like your results, like your blood work, everything is at this point that everybody around me is telling me. That I'm just [00:07:20] so in this like, you're good. Yeah. Oh, maybe I am like, oh yeah.

[00:07:27] Maggie: And that's what's funny is like, your submission is like, [00:07:30] I need to figure out my hunger signals, but what's most important to me is like, I think like we need to figure out what you actually want and make sure it's not coming from a place where you're [00:07:40] like, I just feel like I could push it a little further.

[00:07:43] Maggie: I just. Feel like it, like my best body. And we want to question this thought too. I feel like my best [00:07:50] body would be just a couple more pounds down because it can be tricky. It's not right or wrong. I'm not trying to convince, you know, stay here. If you're good, you're good. I'm not trying to convince, you know, let's push it.

[00:07:59] Maggie: If [00:08:00] you can push it, let's push it. I am here. To help you solidify what it is you actually want so that the reason is, um, [00:08:10] concrete enough for you to start being willing to try these things that you are resistant to because you don't have to.

[00:08:17] Monika: Right. So I think I know what I [00:08:20] actually know, but it's like a secret wand.

[00:08:22] Monika: My secret is kind of like Ryan's. I want to have abs. Okay. The last time I have abs, I was in my twenties and now in my, I'm [00:08:30] in my forties. So I want to have visible abs.

[00:08:33] Maggie: Okay, and how bad on a scale of 1 to 10 do you want visible abs?

[00:08:36] Monika: Pretty

[00:08:37] Maggie: fucking bug. Pretty fucking much, okay. [00:08:40] So like, but like scale of 1 to 10?

[00:08:42] Maggie: 11. 11, so. Think about it, so. Okay, so how often do you spend thinking about that goal? [00:08:50]

[00:08:50] Monika: Uh, daily, multiple times a day, only in my head and like, you see, I'm blushing because you're there first. You're like, I don't know what

[00:08:58] Maggie: the secret [00:09:00] is about. No, I'm glad that it's open because a lot of this stuff, a lot of the thought work that I teach you guys, a lot of that stuff, these things reside in like the dark corners of our [00:09:10] brain.

[00:09:10] Maggie: And whether it's the thoughts that aren't serving us or the little things that we're like, I would just really like that. I, I, I. I think that part of my life experience includes working for and achieving this [00:09:20] goal. And it's like, until we say it out loud, it's just kind of like, well, I would like to have abs.

[00:09:24] Maggie: Well, abs would be tight. I don't know. Like I have always wanted abs, but it hasn't been a thing where you're like, this is something that I want. [00:09:30] And I want to own that want. So knowing, knowing that that is something that's important to you, does that change at all what you're [00:09:40] willing to do to get it?

[00:09:41] Monika: Well, yes, I'll do nearly anything.

[00:09:45] Maggie: Okay, so abs and remember, I'm not like a [00:09:50] fitness coach, um, abs in my opinion, and maybe we need to, you know, get Ryan's opinion on this well, as well is a combination of [00:10:00] what you eat for sure. Um, protein and then working out, but I would say that it's more, um, diet, diet based to get [00:10:10] rid of the fat.

[00:10:10] Maggie: And then obviously the muscle side of it, where are you at with like working out and stuff like that? Is that part of your planning right now? I have a

[00:10:16] Monika: tight program for working out. Like I cannot get it any more tighter. So I know it's [00:10:20] nutrition.

[00:10:20] Maggie: Okay. So it's the nutrition. So, you know, that's like the, the part that you're focusing on.

[00:10:24] Maggie: Okay. So if you were to lose more weight and then just reveal what's probably right under [00:10:30] there, is that how you feel like you're close, but it would be the difference of like, how many pounds do you think?

[00:10:36] Monika: Maximum 10, maybe 15, but probably about 10 [00:10:40] ish.

[00:10:40] Maggie: Okay. So you kind of just have to, you have to manage that conversation in your brain that has two voices going on.

[00:10:49] Maggie: That's like, [00:10:50] things are fine. Everybody's telling me I look great. I feel great. I'm so happy with my progress. How much weight have you lost since joining?

[00:10:57] Monika: Uh, 60 pounds.

[00:10:59] Maggie: Did you [00:11:00] say 60 pounds?

[00:11:01] Monika: Zero, yes, 60.

[00:11:02] Maggie: Since joining Vibe Club? What? I did not know that. Congratulations. Okay, so you have these [00:11:10] two voices in your head and one of them is like, I've lost 60 pounds.

[00:11:13] Maggie: Like, hello, and when did you join? October. So you, you are the owest Of OG [00:11:20] as original as they come about to hit your one year anniversary. I'm just so glad to have you. And I'm so, so proud of the work that you've done. And, and especially the work that you've done, [00:11:30] despite all of the initial resistance.

[00:11:31] Maggie: That's like, don't make me make a plan. Don't make me write shit out. I don't want to write about my thoughts. You know, I just love it. So, so beautiful to see [00:11:40] this, you know, come full circle a year later. Okay. So you have a voice in your head. That's like, things are fine. Blood work is great. Doctor says, I'm great.

[00:11:46] Maggie: Husband says, I'm great. I think I'm great. Right. And that's kind of like a [00:11:50] juicy place to be, but then you also have this other side of you that is probably arguing that with the, like, everything's fine mentality. Like, I really do think it's a problem. Once you get down to the point where you. Could [00:12:00] lose 10 more pounds, could lose 15 more pounds.

[00:12:03] Maggie: The other voice of like, but I would like abs, I would like to lose some more weight. And the next up level [00:12:10] that I need to do that is I need to, I need to reevaluate what enough feels like because you're killing enough. As far as maintenance is concerned,

[00:12:19] Monika: right? [00:12:20]

[00:12:20] Maggie: Like, you know how to do that. You could decide to maintain and just like do this forever.

[00:12:24] Maggie: But when I say that, when I say let's decide to maintain, you're good forever. How does that feel? [00:12:30]

[00:12:30] Monika: I feel like I'm not done. I feel like I'm missing something.

[00:12:33] Maggie: Okay. So I

[00:12:35] Monika: want

[00:12:36] Maggie: to explore that.

[00:12:37] Monika: And maybe because I just don't want to leave Vibe Club. I [00:12:40] want to be here forever. I don't know. Okay.

[00:12:42] Maggie: Okay. So here's the thing.

[00:12:45] Maggie: First of all, you can stay forever. I will never kick you out. Okay. But I, what I, what I've been [00:12:50] using these tools on lately is time management. And my calendar, because with my ADD brain, you guys would be shocked at how much overwhelm I live [00:13:00] in, in regards to like my time and my events and the urges to not follow my calendar.

[00:13:05] Maggie: And like, so I just want you to know, like, when you do feel like weight loss is [00:13:10] complete, you could literally take any of the prompts or teachings that I teach you here and apply it to overspending, to over drinking, to time management, [00:13:20] to relationships, you know, to All planning in advance, honoring what you say you're going to do.

[00:13:25] Maggie: All of it applies. So don't let that be a concern. Let's get rid of that concern because [00:13:30] unless I close down, which I'm not planning on doing, you can stay here forever. I'll coach you in October of 2022. Okay. Um, But you did say you feel like you're [00:13:40] not done, but you also said you feel like you're missing something.

[00:13:44] Maggie: Tell me more about that. What do you feel like you're missing? What do you think Monica with abs? What does she [00:13:50] have that you don't have right now? Like, what is she thinking?

[00:13:54] Monika: It's not that she has more for me. It's, um, I just want to not, not so much proof [00:14:00] to myself and prove to everybody around me, like my kids, my family, that we are not destined.

[00:14:06] Monika: My whole family from grandmothers. To my mother, everybody was [00:14:10] always obese and I think, um, I just want to show them that this is not our destiny. We don't have to all end it up like this. That we can change [00:14:20] this and it doesn't have to be hard. Cause even my mother, when I speak to her now about my weight loss, she feels, um, like how, how did I possibly [00:14:30] do this?

[00:14:30] Monika: Like what changed? Cause we've been on a diet. 12. So she doesn't know. what magic possessed me to do it easily [00:14:40] because I told her that doesn't have to be hard. So I kind of want to leave a legacy for the kids in our family that we are not destined to be obese. We can slim and we can have a six pack [00:14:50] if we want to, you know what I mean?

[00:14:51] Maggie: Yeah.

[00:14:52] Monika: So I guess that's my, like a bigger why for, for. For doing it to show people, look, you can do it and you can do it easy. You [00:15:00] don't have to struggle. You don't have to starve. You don't have to, it doesn't have to be hard because it wasn't hard for me with the exception of the resistance. But now I'm speaking, looking a [00:15:10] year back, it was hard at the little moments on time, but.

[00:15:14] Monika: In general as a year, the year was easy. Yeah. It was pretty effortless to, to lose [00:15:20] that weight, even though that I had a little hiccup, um, uh, last year, my, my father passed away. So I had a little hiccup. I gave up the weight. That's why I say 60 pounds. Cause I gained someone and then I lose [00:15:30] it again. Yeah.

[00:15:31] Monika: But, uh, in general, it was easy because I had the tools I had, I knew how to get back to. [00:15:40] To go back on my plan and everything else. So I just want to show people that it can be done like that.

[00:15:45] Maggie: Yeah. So how do you feel about that story that you just [00:15:50] told me about why you, why you want that? Cause it just sounds so much better than just like the way we started the call.

[00:15:56] Maggie: It's just like, I want to leave a legacy. I want to go, I would just want to show my kids [00:16:00] and my posterity that like, well, you can go after what you want. You can get what you want. It does not have to be hard, you know, like that feels. I mean, from over here, that feels great. Does that feel, does [00:16:10] that feel good to you?

[00:16:11] Monika: Yes. It feels empowering. It feels amazing.

[00:16:15] Maggie: Okay. So I love how you did the whole little think, [00:16:20] feel, do. Cause what you just gave me, like. None of those things were facts. They were all thoughts, but those thoughts help you feel empowered. [00:16:30] So what I want to highlight is that yes, eat hunger. Okay. Eating when you're hungry, stopping, like those are do line.

[00:16:39] Maggie: Those [00:16:40] are just things that you're doing. And a lot of people get really held up in the, like, okay, how do I do this? Like, how do I do, like, how do I know? And they're really [00:16:50] held up on that do line. When my biggest work with you guys is getting. Jacking you back up the process a little bit and being like, let's start thinking [00:17:00] about why we're doing this.

[00:17:02] Maggie: Cause if we know it's not even just why, like what we're thinking about this, why it's important, why we would even want to do this. And when you have a story like, [00:17:10] like you just told, which literally could have been a Ted talk, like it makes you feel empowered. And when you feel empowered, it's really easy to do the little minuscule, [00:17:20] like I can pay attention while I'm Like that, that is, that pales in comparison to what I want to create here, what I want to do, the legacy I want to [00:17:30] leave, the example that I want to be.

[00:17:32] Maggie: That's where we want to focus because when we focus there and you wake up every morning and you write, cause I do want you to listen to this back. You write about [00:17:40] the legacy you want to leave. You write about how you're breaking generational patterns of obesity. You write about that stuff. You focus on that.

[00:17:47] Maggie: And when your brain goes. Well, this is so yummy. [00:17:50] Just eat it all. And you're like, excuse me, like we are trying to build a legacy here. Shut up. Like we're not doing, you know what I can, you just see the comparison that it's like, [00:18:00] Oh, this little thing that I need to do to get what I want. I'm not going to waste any more energy worrying about if I'm doing it, right, doing it wrong.

[00:18:08] Maggie: Like you will figure it [00:18:10] out and we can do, we can do tips and tools all day, but ultimately, you know, what it takes, you know, that it requires consciousness. You know, that it requires consciousness, despite. [00:18:20] Kids and noise and overstimulation and funky bits of space where you have to work yourself in as a mother, but that stuff is going to feel so much less [00:18:30] heavy to you when you just constantly read about direct your brain to why you're even doing what you're doing, because that kind of stuff is just going to feel like no big deal, easy, [00:18:40]

[00:18:40] Monika: I guess I thought maybe you have some sort of a secret because I don't feel like my brain and sense like I don't have those hell.

[00:18:47] Monika: I don't even know what hunger signals are to [00:18:50] be honest with you because I always eat until I couldn't eat anymore, right? Totally, yeah. So I don't feel like when I'm eating, I don't, [00:19:00] my brain doesn't say, Oh, you had enough now. Okay. Cause I'm like, I can eat it. If I don't eat it, like if somebody, if you would serve me and you would put a plate in front of me, I'll eat that [00:19:10] plate.

[00:19:10] Monika: But it's, I always feel like there is room to eat more. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know.

[00:19:15] Maggie: Yeah. Ryan and I have this conversation all the time. Okay. All the time, because [00:19:20] the first thing he always says when we go out to eat, when we have date night, whatever, even if he makes food is like, I could have eaten so much more than that.

[00:19:27] Maggie: Right. And every time he says that I'm like, [00:19:30] I can't coach him guys. Cause like I'm his wife. Okay. So I got to like, just kind of. But I just in my head, I'm like, but why think like that's got to feel terrible, you know, like just thinking like, well, I [00:19:40] could eat so much more. We all could. I mean, I can down a fun size bag of Twix.

[00:19:44] Maggie: I can eat an entire bag of Doritos. I can, you know, eat five Krispy Kreme donuts. I can [00:19:50] do that. But. That's kind of what got me into the problem in the first place. So I know you guys think I have all these tips and tricks, and I'm not saying I'm unwilling to talk [00:20:00] to you about the hunger. I totally am. I just want to make sure like you listen to this back.

[00:20:03] Maggie: And when you went off telling me about what is missing and you, you clarified, I'm not missing something. It's not like you're [00:20:10] looking for this hole, but you're like, if I'm going to do this, why not go big? If I'm going to do this, why don't I complete? It like for what that means to me, if like, why don't I literally become [00:20:20] an example of what is possible, you know, to the people in my life, to my family, whatever, right.

[00:20:25] Maggie: That's what I want you focusing on as you make your plan for the day, as you, [00:20:30] as your brain starts to get tricky about this specific up level that you're on, which is the hunger aspect, which I have to say, you guys, like this. I did not understand [00:20:40] this or implement it for a long time in my weight loss journey.

[00:20:44] Maggie: I was, I think I was just able to like eat less than I needed to eat to maintain my weight. And I always had like [00:20:50] 60 pounds to lose, 55 pounds to lose. And then I would get to a place where it would slow down a little bit. And I would adjust my protocol and stuff, but I was never ever in tune with [00:21:00] hunger.

[00:21:00] Maggie: I was even trained in a sense of the hunger scale type thing went right over my head. I didn't get it. I didn't apply it. Yeah. [00:21:10] And so, and so I think one of the reasons is because the way that I was taught was a little bit overcomplicated. And so. Yeah. I also think we're [00:21:20] looking for really big signals were like, my body is hungry.

[00:21:24] Maggie: My body has had enough. No, that is too much. Like we're looking for that when really, [00:21:30] if I was going to share my hunger signals with you guys, here are some of the ones when I'm hungry, I don't have huge hunger signals. I know when it's gone too far [00:21:40] because I start to get irritable, I start to get like kind of panicky and I'm cool.

[00:21:44] Maggie: We pushed it too far. And most of the reason that's happening is because I'm a mom and it's because I'm busy. It's not because I'm like, Oh, how long can we [00:21:50] go? It's literally because I'm just like, shit, I, we, we missed the window here. So as far as hunger signals, I also mostly don't eat until noon. So like regardless, maybe I [00:22:00] do mentally override it a little bit, but it's like, okay, last night I ate at five 30 it's noon.

[00:22:04] Maggie: Like it's time to eat. Okay. Bye. But I'm so used to that feeling of like, I haven't really eaten anything. I've kind of been fasting. [00:22:10] The hunger thing for me isn't huge. Like, am I actually hungry as for much else than snacking [00:22:20] and treats? Like it's really easy for me to know. Like if I'm between meals. Am I actually hungry?

[00:22:25] Maggie: That's when it really matters. And most of the time, the answer is no for the treat at [00:22:30] night that I like literally have had my entire keto journey that I had last night, a built bar was the tree. It was so good, but like before that it was five days since I had eaten the treat that I had planned. [00:22:40] I just, I haven't been hungry for it, so I'm not eating it.

[00:22:43] Maggie: So that's when. Asking myself, am I hungry comes really into play. I'm hungry at noon. Like it's time to [00:22:50] eat. I'm hungry. I haven't eaten since five 30 of the last night. I don't need to push it till three. I'm hungry at five. That's five hours in between my meal because I eat something that's so satiating.

[00:22:59] Maggie: So [00:23:00] I just want to say when it comes to hunger, You want to just play around and get familiar with, like, do I just have a little bit of an emptiness? Do I start having thoughts? Are my thoughts kind of [00:23:10] frantic? A lot of the time it's our thinking, which is what comes into play when I am eating and I need to find enough.

[00:23:18] Maggie: Enough for me looks [00:23:20] like I do start looking for the best bites. I start, like, if I'm eating a salad, I'm like, where's the salami? Like I start, that's one of my signs. Like, where's the salami? Where's the cheese with the [00:23:30] ranch? Like, where's the avocado pieces? Like I start to just,

[00:23:33] Monika: okay. So you

[00:23:33] Maggie: start to get a little bored and you start to look for the best pieces.

[00:23:38] Maggie: I also always [00:23:40] notice my thinking and my thinking is normally like, I think that's enough. I think I've had enough. And the way that I really learned this, and I did this very, very frequently as I was first implementing [00:23:50] it is I would, I would have the thought, I think that's enough. And I would say, I would just leave the food on the counter.

[00:23:57] Maggie: And I just set a timer for 10 minutes. And I [00:24:00] was like, I'm just going to go, like, I'm going to start cleaning up the kitchen or I'm going to like change the baby's diaper. I'm just going to do something else. I swear to you guys, nine out of 10 times that that happened, the timer would [00:24:10] go off and I'd be like, what is that for?

[00:24:11] Maggie: What's what was that timer for? I was completely fine. And I think initially when you're trying to figure out it's comforting your brain and [00:24:20] saying, listen, dude, I'm not trying to take food from you. I'm not trying to keep you from eating, but I think we've had enough. And the only way we're going to learn is if we kind of fool around with this, set a timer for 10 minutes, [00:24:30] it's literally there it's right there, or if you need more of the food or whatever, it's right there and you can eat it.

[00:24:35] Maggie: And then all of a sudden, when you start doing this a bunch of times and you're like, I'm not hungry, that was enough. I did just [00:24:40] mean need 10 minutes for my. belly to tell my brain that it was enough. Then you start realizing, Oh, I've been like over serving myself. And then at that point, maybe you serve yourself less.

[00:24:49] Maggie: And [00:24:50] then you do get to finish your food because you're getting a better idea of what the portions look like now.

[00:24:54] Monika: Okay.

[00:24:55] Maggie: So how does that, what do you feel like you struggle with more? Do you feel like you're spending a lot of the time being like, I don't even [00:25:00] know if I'm hungry, or I don't even know if I'm full.

[00:25:02] Maggie: I don't even know if I

[00:25:04] Monika: don't even know what I'm full because I, uh, just like yourself, I get irritated when I'm like, when I miss [00:25:10] my window for eating because I'm busy with kids or picking them up or dropping them off at dance or whatever else you have to do. Yeah. I get to the [00:25:20] nearly angry. I'm like, no, you guys don't understand before we do anything.

[00:25:23] Monika: I need to eat or bad things are going to happen. So, so I guess I do know when I'm super hungry. Yeah. [00:25:30] Just more of the now I'm so super freaking hungry and I get to eat finally. So I want to eat at all. So I don't really maybe give myself enough time to see if I [00:25:40] had enough.

[00:25:40] Maggie: Yes. And so that's what I want you to be aware of.

[00:25:42] Maggie: That's the thinking that I want you to pay attention to. You need to tell yourself on purpose. I let myself get too hungry. My brain is going to [00:25:50] tell me Lick this plate clean, because you're so starving and we, we want to like stop the starving food. I have found that so much of like, especially my, my wonky times, my like 4 to [00:26:00] 7 PM, all the times that I naturally struggle with, if we were going to make a list of like one of your most challenging times, the only thing that keeps me between success or failure is just.

[00:26:09] Maggie: [00:26:10] Hearing what my brain is saying, and it's like, eat all the food. And it's like, Hey, we don't like, it's literally like comforting a child. And that maybe puts it into perspective for lots of moms that you don't want [00:26:20] to scream and be like, you've had enough. You're like, calm down. You want to just be like, Hey, it's totally fine.

[00:26:24] Maggie: Like, we're just gonna, we're going to eat and we're going to slow down. And I know that a couple bites [00:26:30] in the hanger is going to subside. This anger is not going to last. It's like comforting. Like, yeah, you let yourself, let's, let's troubleshoot for how we don't let this happen again. First of all, start [00:26:40] troubleshooting for like, what do I need to plan?

[00:26:42] Maggie: How do I need to plan so that I'm not starving when I get to eat? And then to also know if by chance life happens and I missed that signal, I [00:26:50] missed that boat of like, yeah, we should have eaten 30 minutes ago. We definitely let it go too far. I am aware my brain is going to convince me this is yummy.

[00:26:57] Maggie: We're starving. We have any, you know, [00:27:00] all of the thoughts to overeat will just be locked and loaded,

[00:27:04] Monika: right?

[00:27:05] Maggie: And then you manage your brain and just let it know the hunger, the [00:27:10] hanger, all of that is going to subside. And as soon as we're going to pay attention to when it does as we're eating, and then we are going to consciously.

[00:27:19] Maggie: Tune [00:27:20] in to have I had enough food yet? And, and the biggest thing with this, you guys is allowing yourself to learn. You're going to overshoot it a lot. You're going to undershoot it a [00:27:30] lot. Like you're going to figure it out, but I would say that this would be the most challenging part of the process for most people.

[00:27:37] Maggie: And I think that's crazy. Because it's [00:27:40] crazy to me that we were never taught to like, be like, am I even hungry for lunch right now? Then why am I eating yet? You know, unless there's some reason where it's like, I must eat now because I'm [00:27:50] working a 12 hour shift. We're never asking ourselves, am I hungry for my food now?

[00:27:54] Maggie: Am I getting those signals that it's like, my stomach is empty. It's kind of grumbling. I'm starting to lose focus a little bit. And my brain [00:28:00] is saying, I think it's time for lunch. That could literally be what your hunger is. Hungry for food signal is, whereas fullness is just like, yeah, I think that was enough.

[00:28:08] Maggie: I'm going to go ahead and just trust that [00:28:10] set a timer, relieve the rest of the food. And then if, if, if you want that food for a reason, other than like, it was just so good, if you want it, because you're like, no, I definitely, I [00:28:20] had something the other night and I can not remember what it was. And I was done.

[00:28:24] Maggie: And I was like, I, that wasn't enough. And so you get used to just knowing what that feels like [00:28:30] versus that was so good. I don't want to stop. That is not hunger. That is not a hunger issue. That's a thought issue. That's a like, we're romanticizing the food and it was just so good and we [00:28:40] don't want to let it go.

[00:28:40] Maggie: So we do have to find a balance between like, I freaking love my food and I can make this again. And it's not the last time I'm going to have it. And I can eat it tomorrow if I [00:28:50] want. And you know, there's just, and what else? You know, when your brain is like, I don't want to stop and I'm learning how to get better at stopping.

[00:28:59] Maggie: So like, we're just going to [00:29:00] figure out what it feels like. We're going to figure out why this isn't the scariest thing that can happen to me. You know, this isn't, no, one's going to die. If I put the last four bites in the trash, [00:29:10] I know I felt the pain. There has been some food where I'm like, this physically hurts.

[00:29:14] Maggie: Okay. But also I know I'm dramatic. And so I know that's also what's happening. Okay.

[00:29:19] Monika: [00:29:20] Awesome.

[00:29:20] Maggie: So how does that feel?

[00:29:22] Monika: Good. Yeah. Like, um, um.

[00:29:24] Maggie: You're ready.

[00:29:26] Monika: I'm very content with everything that we've talked about.

[00:29:28] Maggie: Yeah. Get those abs. [00:29:30] Focus on, focus on like, that's the result you want. So you have to ask yourself, what do I need to do to get that result?

[00:29:36] Maggie: How do I want to feel? I think empowered is a great place to start. [00:29:40] What creates the feeling of empowered for me, thinking about what I'm doing, really focusing on the impact that I am having and that I can have on people who look at Monica and say, [00:29:50] how she did it different. She didn't seem like she was having a bad time.

[00:29:52] Maggie: She seemed like she was enjoying her life. I thought weight loss was painful. I thought weight loss was torture. I thought it was restriction, but she says [00:30:00] it's not. And you're just like, yeah. And I got apps just like for kicks and giggles. Like I just decided I wanted them. Like how tight would that be?

[00:30:05] Monika: For all the new people, I have to say it wasn't like this. I'm 44. I [00:30:10] struggled my whole life until I found you. But it did take me this whole year to, because you learn in such a small pieces, all of it to click because one piece [00:30:20] clicks in and then like, it takes you for me, it took me, I don't know, maybe three months for it to click in that, well, now I'm making this plan, but I actually have to follow it a long time [00:30:30] for all the fields to click into the hole.

[00:30:33] Monika: And it's so easy right now that I can't believe that I didn't know this for the [00:30:40] first four years of my life. Do you know what I mean? Nobody told me this.

[00:30:43] Maggie: Well, and we're so used to like the instant gratification, like for everybody who's on this call and listening to, I want you to ask yourself, [00:30:50] would it be cool?

[00:30:51] Maggie: Like would I like to lose 60 pounds if it took me a whole year to do it? Most people like [00:31:00] anyone who's like, no. I need to do it in two months. I only have four weeks. I'm getting married. I, whatever, like that's where you really need to pull back and be like, the time is going to pass anyways, if I, [00:31:10] if I knew, cause that was kind of like, it was for me the first time, I think it was 18 months.

[00:31:13] Maggie: The second time it was nine months. The second time I knew what I was doing, but it was like, it took time. It [00:31:20] takes time. You learn stuff, but then also you kind of, you had a moment where like you gained some weight back, but the most. Brilliant. Part of that was you knew what to do. And that's what I promise [00:31:30] you guys, I promise you, you'll learn what to do, but then you'll know what to do.

[00:31:33] Maggie: If life does happen. If, if a parent does pass away, if a child does get sick and you're just like, most people gain [00:31:40] weight back and they're like, see, I knew it wasn't going to work, like I knew that I wasn't going to be able to keep this up. Instead of being like, I experienced a massive loss, I'm going to take my time to process this [00:31:50] and when I'm ready, I know exactly what to do.

[00:31:53] Maggie: Yeah. So I'm just so proud of you. I don't know, I, I gotta get the facts from you guys more often about like, what you're [00:32:00] doing. 'cause it's like, I don't even know.

[00:32:02] Monika: So fun. I don't really participate in Facebook. So how would you know, right? Like, and yeah, I guess you gotta ask for every, for all [00:32:10] the new people.

[00:32:10] Monika: The biggest difference for me, until this day, I do that. 'cause I was very apprehensive when I made my plan and I would make the meals and then I always, I was always. that I [00:32:20] wouldn't have enough. It wasn't, wasn't enough food that maybe I'm restricting the one huge, huge difference in my life was I on my plan.

[00:32:28] Monika: I put extra snacks always. [00:32:30] And then at the end of my plan, so I have my, like my ketones, my ketones, my coffee, my, my lunch, my whatever snack or treat. And then at the [00:32:40] end of my plan, I put if hungry, I can have this and I literally have six things listed that I can have. I haven't eaten this [00:32:50] probably for last six months, maybe in six months I had it once or twice.

[00:32:53] Monika: Yeah. However, it's there. So my brain, it plays a little trick on my brain. If you're hungry, like [00:33:00] chill, you're not going to die. You still going to stick to your plan, break the plan. And if you have that one little extra thing, there to keep me comfortable. Give my mind a [00:33:10] comfort that you want it. It's on your plan.

[00:33:13] Monika: So you will not break. Cause I hated doing the X's behind my back. I decided did not follow plan because I love my check.

[00:33:19] Maggie: You guys are just [00:33:20] so resistant to just like, Oh no, but yeah, like People are resistant when I'm like, just plan it. And they're like, but I couldn't possibly lose weight. First of all, that's not true.

[00:33:27] Maggie: But second of all, we're just like, we make our [00:33:30] plan and it's just the bare minimum and it's like, hope nothing goes wrong today. Hope you don't get extra hungry. Hope like the plan is so strict and restrictive that when I tell you to add more, you don't realize [00:33:40] that what that does initially, just instantly as your brain is just like.

[00:33:43] Maggie: Okay. Well, like, I guess like it's there, like, there's not the panic of like, I don't know if this is going to be enough food. I hope this is enough food. And then [00:33:50] we get to the end of the day and we're like, I'm starving, but it's because all day we've been telling ourself that we're probably going to be hungry and it's probably going to suck.

[00:33:56] Maggie: And this is the only way we can lose weight. So thank you for being. [00:34:00] So that's an amazing example of that.

[00:34:02] Monika: The biggest difference that it's, it's there if I need it, but I never need it. But it's there in case.

[00:34:08] Maggie: Yeah. I love [00:34:10] it. Okay. Well, you're the best. Please keep updated on everything or just keep just DM me, whatever.

[00:34:16] Maggie: Are you in the Facebook group? Of course. Okay. You're in there. [00:34:20] I just feel like I'm there. I'm watching everything. All right. You're the best Monica. Okay. I'm going to put you [00:34:30] [00:34:40] back.

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