153 - Food Freedom (Vibe Club Sneak Peek)

[00:00:00] Hello everybody and welcome to the podcast today. I wanted to do something different today. I wanted to give you a peek into the bonus content that is available monthly in vibe club, [00:00:10] which is my weight loss coaching program for women. So these courses are in addition to the weight loss course, the sustainable weight loss course, and then the vault of all the past coaching calls and everything that [00:00:20] you get when you join vibe club, there's also bonus monthly content.

[00:00:23] So if you're already in vibe club, you can skip this. It was uploaded to your private member podcast during the first Monday of October and. [00:00:30] And you will get the other three on the next three Mondays. So it's going to go straight into your private member podcast, which is another thing that my members get access to.

[00:00:38] I get asked a [00:00:40] lot, what is the difference between the free content, you know, stuff you hear on the podcast, TikTok, Instagram, and then my coaching program where I work, you know, with my clients in a group [00:00:50] setting. So this is it. It's the way that I'm able to give step by step instructions so that you're able to learn it.

[00:00:58] Apply it, ask [00:01:00] questions about it, get coached on it, and the reason why is because the process of learning something new, it takes time. It takes time. It takes repetition. It takes focus. And so it [00:01:10] can feel really good to hear something on a podcast and be like, Ooh, that makes so much sense. Love that. But taking that from hearing it and getting it like intellectually to actually [00:01:20] doing it.

[00:01:20] I like to compare to listening to a book on how to learn to ride a bike and actually getting on the freaking bike. Right? Like there's only so much you can learn. You can [00:01:30] be like, no, it makes perfect sense. You just get up on the bike and you move your feet one foot in front of the other and you just push.

[00:01:35] It's going to be a completely different experience getting on that bike. So [00:01:40] you're going to be bad at first and you're going to want to give up. So my coaching program helps you to learn and master the skills that I teach. And then of course normalize what the process actually looks like, which is [00:01:50] not just a straight line from point A to point B.

[00:01:52] So if you're ready to learn how to apply what I teach on this podcast so that you can lose your weight while healing your relationship with food, your body and the scale, [00:02:00] go to vibewithmaggie. com to join Vibe Club or you can just click the link in the show notes. Let's get into it. Hello everyone and welcome to October.

[00:02:09] I'm so excited. [00:02:10] This is probably one of my favorite months of the year and this month I wanted to focus the bonus content on food freedom and what that means to me [00:02:20] and what that process has been like and teaching you exactly the way that I really healed my relationship with food and got really clear of what food freedom even means because [00:02:30] I think there are many definitions of it.

[00:02:34] And so the way that I share it may be different than some of the definitions that you've heard, but I'm [00:02:40] excited to take that aspect deeper, especially as we move into the holiday season and the last three months of the year, because It really does matter what you do the last three months of the year.[00:02:50]

[00:02:50] There's going to be a tendency to want to take your foot off the gas and just know that throughout the end of the year you don't need to be like full throttle pedal to the ground. You can, [00:03:00] you can live the last three months of the year. In a way that feels really juicy and cozy to you, but that doesn't have you taking all this action that has you massively [00:03:10] overeating and believing that you have only two modes to be in like weight loss mode or eat all the things mode.

[00:03:16] There really is a good balance. And if you haven't taken time this year to [00:03:20] start healing your relationship with food, I don't think that it's too late to do that. I think this is a really good time, especially using October because of course most of the holidays are [00:03:30] in November, December, but October is a good time to start just practicing.

[00:03:33] So I want to focus on food freedom this month so that you can feel like you have some [00:03:40] tools to use and some ways to get started with this or to take it deeper and that maybe some of the things that I share will give you a deeper understanding as to why it's important and why it may [00:03:50] be something that you want to do.

[00:03:52] finding that freedom around food. So food freedom means that all foods fit in moderation into your way of eating. Now, this is of course, [00:04:00] unless there's an allergy or a medical condition that prevents it. But diet culture has us believing that there is good food and there's bad food and there's weight loss food and then there's food that you could [00:04:10] never lose weight eating.

[00:04:11] And I think it's important, a good way to know if you want to take food freedom [00:04:20] and healing that relationship. with food seriously? Cause I do think that people put it into two categories. It's like, I'm either, you know, have weight loss goals or I'm healing my [00:04:30] relationship with food. And you know what?

[00:04:31] That's a common narrative that a lot of people believe you can't actually focus on weight loss while finding food freedom. But because I did, I know that it's [00:04:40] possible because I've coached women to do that at the same time. I know that it's possible, but that doesn't mean that it's not a challenge. So a good way to know if this is something that you want to focus on is, do [00:04:50] you plan to eat the foods that you're refusing to plan right now?

[00:04:54] Like, are there, does your brain tell you you can never have chips again, yet you know that you will have [00:05:00] chips again? Or that you shouldn't ever eat sugar, but you also know you will be eating sugar. You're kind of just, you keep pushing it out into the future, but also you're eating it right now, [00:05:10] but you're not planning it and you're eating it behind your own back or you're binge eating it.

[00:05:13] You're not eating it. you're not eating it in a way that serves you. If so, if there is fear around [00:05:20] food, if you feel like you don't have control around food, if you feel like you're choosing not to eat those foods because you're scared of them versus choosing not to eat [00:05:30] those foods because they don't make your body feel well or they give you inflammation or a reason that comes from, you know, self power [00:05:40] versus fear, then this is really good work for you to do because for most people, aside from some type of medical condition or an allergy, that [00:05:50] you will be eating those foods that you deem bad at some point.

[00:05:53] So most of us are eating these foods, but we're not eating them intentionally. We're eating them in weak moments. We're eating them from a really [00:06:00] emotional state of mind. Um, And do, and we're doing that because of food rules, which really just translates into our thoughts about these foods. So I want you to [00:06:10] think about the correlation between your thoughts about these foods and your experience.

[00:06:15] So your history with foods may be telling you that you can't have them because [00:06:20] they're bad, but then you wait until you feel bad to eat them. Then you overeat them, and then you feel terrible. It takes you further away from your goals, it [00:06:30] spirals out of control, and then what we do is we blame the food.

[00:06:34] And that's one of the biggest things that I learned was all of that blaming that I was doing on the [00:06:40] food was actually coming from the overeating of the food. So I believe that you deserve the freedom that comes from a yes or a no. So for [00:06:50] some, for some people, the freedom comes from saying, yes, I will have that thing that in the past I judged myself for eating.

[00:06:56] I felt guilty for eating or saying, no, I'm not going to be eating that thing. [00:07:00] Food freedom isn't just, I eat carbs and sugar all the time. I believe that freedom comes from you actually making an intentional choice [00:07:10] based on reasons that you really love and reasons that are not rooted in fear. They're rooted in confidence.

[00:07:17] They're rooted in a sureness of what you want for [00:07:20] yourself. Um, food freedom isn't just like eat cookies all day. And if you have any confusion around that, like that's not the way I teach it. That's not the way it is taught. It's, [00:07:30] That's not what it is. It's the freedom to be able to say yes or no. It's the freedom to make your decisions from confidence and sureness versus [00:07:40] fear and guilt and shame and regret.

[00:07:42] So I didn't have anyone guiding me through healing my relationship with food, but I'm going to tell you exactly what I did and continue to do. [00:07:50] Um, I, recently found my journal around this time when I made, decided, decided to do this. It was around March of 2021. [00:08:00] So it's almost been about 18 months and I found lots of journal entries that were kind of devastating to find [00:08:10] from before that, um, that are just laced with so much frustration with myself and so much.

[00:08:16] And maybe you can relate just like, what is wrong with me? Why [00:08:20] can't I do this? I'm not going to do this again. Why do I keep overeating? I just need to be stronger. I need to get stricter. I, the way that I thought that I needed to course correct was [00:08:30] not helpful. And my confusion and overwhelm and frustration came from Why can't I stop overeating these foods?

[00:08:36] Even when I was in the active practice of planning these [00:08:40] foods, I kept overeating them and I did not understand what the problem was. So After I found [00:08:50] those, I realized that there were things that I was overeating because of the thoughts that I had underneath them. So what I'm going to tell you right now, we're going [00:09:00] to get into the thinking around it because I want to get into the, the real to do here.

[00:09:08] about how to heal that [00:09:10] relationship. But I want to kind of tell you the action steps first of all, because there's going to be three different worksheets that you're going to be able to use. Well, one of them is a cheat sheet. Two of them are [00:09:20] worksheets that are going to help you to be able to uncover all your thinking about these foods as well as plan to eat them on purpose.

[00:09:27] So let me kind of tell you what I did [00:09:30] when I started incorporating these foods. Um, I chose two days a week that I was going to incorporate my favorite foods guilt free. So for me, it was [00:09:40] Wednesdays and Sundays and on Wednesdays I would plan to eat my favorite crunchy snack. I've always loved snacks. I love Doritos.

[00:09:46] I love chips. I love Chex Mix. I love rice cakes. And anytime I [00:09:50] was eating those foods, I had a really bad relationship with them because I was always standing at the counter, eating them out of the bag, eating the whole bag saying, Oh, I already had snacks, so now I'm going to eat all the snacks. What else do we have?[00:10:00]

[00:10:00] It was always spiraling out of control. I felt like I had no control over snacks. But I like snacks and I want to eat them and I want to know how to have snacks in my house without feeling [00:10:10] like I have to eat the entire bag, so. I would plan those for Wednesdays and then I would also normally include carbs with my, with my dinner because obviously after being keto for so [00:10:20] long, so long, I had really demonized carbs and sugar and snacks and all that.

[00:10:24] So normally I would also plan rice. I love rice, but eating it would trigger thinking that I ate too many [00:10:30] carbs and that would trigger binge eating before I addressed that. So that was kind of how my Wednesdays looked. I was eating rice with dinner normally, or maybe potatoes or something. And then. [00:10:40] Also snacks.

[00:10:40] Normally I did like two servings of whatever snack I wanted to have. And then on Sundays we would have a date night for dinner and dessert. I would get whatever I wanted to eat on the menu of my favorite restaurants and [00:10:50] I would focus only on my hunger and enough signals. I wasn't even super um specific with what I put on my plan.

[00:10:57] I just knew you get to choose whatever you want to eat. But the main thing [00:11:00] we're going to focus on is how we feel and we are going to be able to I'm going to eat when we're physically hungry and we're going to stop at enough, which is obviously something I teach you in the weight loss course. And so I practice this for six months [00:11:10] and then I increased the frequency of including those foods by giving myself unconditional permission to plan what I wanted based on how I wanted to feel and how I wanted to live.

[00:11:19] What you need to [00:11:20] know though is that there were many, many times that I overate, even with the planning. There were also many times that I underate. Both of those choices were driven by fear. [00:11:30] So the times that I was under eating, it was coming from this fear that I couldn't possibly eat this and lose weight.

[00:11:35] And the times that I was overeating was coming from feeling like, [00:11:40] I can't, I'm going to have to take these away. Like the scarcity mindset would kick in. But you have to remember, weight loss happens when you stop overeating. Nobody [00:11:50] gained a bunch of weight because they planned their favorite foods and ate them mindfully.

[00:11:54] I really want you to think about that. Nobody gained a bunch of weight because they were like on Friday, I'm going to [00:12:00] eat pizza and I'm going to have a brownie after dinner and I'm going to really pay attention while I'm eating them. That's not why we gain a bunch of weight. Like we [00:12:10] don't plan that food.

[00:12:11] We wait till we're exhausted because our week has been so terrible. We. have our strict diet that worked Monday through Thursday, all of a sudden Friday hits, you're [00:12:20] exhausted. You don't want to do that crap anymore. You don't want to eat that stuff anymore. So you order a pizza, you eat half the pizza, you eat the brownie, then you eat the ice cream.

[00:12:27] Then you tell yourself you had too many carbs or you already blew [00:12:30] your diet. And then you eat everything else you can find. And then. That leads into Saturday and that leads into Sunday and then we start the cycle over on Monday. That's what we're trying to stop. So I want you to just remember like [00:12:40] when you feel like you can't eat these foods, I really want you to ask yourself, how many hours have I put into this?

[00:12:46] How many reps have I put in to planning food, [00:12:50] sitting down and paying attention and eating them mindfully, eating them while paying attention and the cheat sheet that we have for um, healing your relationship with food and, and eating [00:13:00] these foods without overeating them is going to be really helpful.

[00:13:03] for that. Um, so, and this is what I recommend because it can be overwhelming for those who have been on a diet, like been on diet [00:13:10] after diet to just plan any foods they want. Like, Oh, the whole world is available to you now. Plan whatever you want. For some people that can feel, that can feel scary. And This [00:13:20] method provides safety around something most of us have, which is diet trauma.

[00:13:24] Like the trauma that we have from doing diets and how we feel about our body and what our mothers said to us [00:13:30] about certain foods and about our bodies and the way other people made comments on what we're eating and how much we're eating and why we're eating. Like we have these situations. [00:13:40] related to food and related to these foods that are triggering to our nervous system.

[00:13:44] For most people, trying to, trying to heal this relationship with food triggers their fight or flight [00:13:50] response. It makes you feel panic, it makes you feel overwhelmed, and then we wonder why we're overeating and it's like. We're eating, we're overeating to calm that down. So it can [00:14:00] be a very dysregulating experience, which again, doesn't make fun food very fun because it's the foods that we fear.

[00:14:07] So we're really trying to create that, that [00:14:10] safety. So what I recommend utilize is, you know, making those decisions in advance with planning in advance. but then also being present in the moment, which is hunger and fullness. [00:14:20] So I want you to choose your frequency and I want you to practice. So for you, it may be once a week for you.

[00:14:26] It might be once a month. All I recommend [00:14:30] is that if you're afraid of food and if you aren't planning these foods, but you are eating them, it's a really good idea to start practicing because what that does is it puts the power back in your [00:14:40] hands. It puts the power back in your hands to be able to choose these things on purpose and eat them with intention.

[00:14:47] Eat them because you made a choice in advance [00:14:50] versus making a choice in the moment, which is how most of us are eating these foods and we're doing it in a way that doesn't serve us and then we're overeating it and we're saying we blew everything and then we're waking up the next morning with [00:15:00] guilt and shame that we, we want to stop that cycle completely.

[00:15:03] And one of the ways we stop that cycle is we start. planning to eat the foods on purpose. And so I want you to choose [00:15:10] what frequency feels best for you. Um, at the lowest, you know, I would say maybe one time a month because it's just this one time a month where like you can, you [00:15:20] can stay conscious and focused and aware for one meal a month.

[00:15:25] Just one where you follow some of the tools and the tips on the cheat sheet [00:15:30] that just talks about like eating mindfully, taking it slow. Like you'll be able to find all that in the downloads on your August or sorry, on your October page in the member [00:15:40] portal. Use those tools and when you overeat and I, yeah, I just use the word when cause it's going to happen when you overeat.

[00:15:47] And if you overeat, fill out a curiosity [00:15:50] worksheet to identify the thinking. Do not judge yourself. If you've always overeaten these foods, this will be new for you. But the more your brain understands that these [00:16:00] foods aren't getting taken away, the less it's going to go into scarcity mode when you eat them.

[00:16:05] So I wanted to give you like an outline of like the tactical what I [00:16:10] did. To do, to heal my relationship with food and to start eating these foods to the point where like, if I, if I have chips in the house, I won't eat all the chips. I can [00:16:20] even eat chips out of the bag and I won't overeat the chips. I, everything I put on that, um, cheat sheet is one of the, tools that I use to [00:16:30] slow things down, be with myself and heal my relationship with food.

[00:16:33] And you have to understand that a lot of us don't want to eat these foods mindfully. We want to eat them as a way to check out. [00:16:40] And so be aware of that as well. We're not checking out and overeating. We're checking in, we're tuning in, we're turning towards ourselves so we can hear what is my body saying about this?

[00:16:49] What is my brain saying [00:16:50] about this? What is the thinking that's coming up? How do I be with this experience? Because it's super easy to overeat when you plop your butt down in front of the camera. of the TV and open up a bag and [00:17:00] watch a show. It gets much harder when you sit down mindfully, intentionally, with all your food in front of you after calming your body down [00:17:10] and eating that food.

[00:17:11] It's harder to overeat. And that's just because we're bringing so much consciousness into the experience to where we're like, I'm not blacking out. I'm not going to not know what happened. I'm [00:17:20] doing this on purpose because this is food that I will eat throughout my life. Maybe you won't eat it often, but even if you're going to be eating it, sometimes practice eating it.

[00:17:28] Sometimes then [00:17:30] nothing magical happens. Once you lose your weight, you just all of a sudden will lose your weight and then you'll have to heal your relationship with food. So do you want to do them at the same time or do you want to do them separately? I [00:17:40] say, do them at the same time. Because what I know for most people is that they're still eating those foods.

[00:17:45] They're just overeating them and they're afraid of them and they swear off. And then you are [00:17:50] me and you have a journal full of frustration and just like, what's wrong with me? Why can't I figure this out? Why aren't I stronger? Why don't I do what I say I'm going to do? Like [00:18:00] beating the crap out of yourself when it's like, all that was missing was me being like, all right, well we haven't ever practiced eating these foods on purpose.

[00:18:06] So that's what we need to do. We have to practice and guess what happens when you practice [00:18:10] something new? You're bad at it. Be bad at it so you can get good at it. That's what it takes. Okay? And then in the following weeks we're going to get into the deeper [00:18:20] side of this, okay? Your diet thinking. So one of the worksheets where we uncover your thinking, You're going to, um, fill that out [00:18:30] next week on October 10th is when that podcast will come out and you'll be able to follow along with the exact process I used to uncover the thinking that was driving [00:18:40] the overeating because that was a huge part of, of what I did here and it kind of came to me naturally as I was journaling and I just really was like, I don't [00:18:50] Something is off here.

[00:18:51] There's something I'm missing here. And when I dug deeper and I found the thinking, I was like, Oh, this is it. This is the reason why, because this is under the surface. So I wanted to give you [00:19:00] guys an introduction. I wanted you to be able to check out those worksheets. Um, but you'll, you'll probably start using them.

[00:19:06] Starting next week, but make sure you check out the cheat sheet. Look at the, [00:19:10] uh, questions that are asked and you can fill them out if you'd like, you can print out multiple copies of them so that once I go over them on the podcast, maybe it will make more sense and be more [00:19:20] helpful for filling them out.

[00:19:21] Um, and so that's what I wanted to leave you guys with today. I hope it's helpful. I just, at this point, I just want you to be open. This isn't a situation where [00:19:30] it's like, you need to eat these foods, eat sugar. Like that's not what this is about. What it's about is actually having success with your weight loss to the point where once you [00:19:40] lose your weight, you're not also left with a bunch of remnants of fear and being terrified of certain foods and feeling like, oh my gosh, in order to keep This up, I'm gonna have to, you know, be [00:19:50] tracking everything and I'll never be able to eat sugar.

[00:19:52] And the second I do, I start gaining weight. It's like, I don't want you to lose weight, but then have all of this, all of the fear still there. 'cause that's not freedom. [00:20:00] That's just a smaller body. And a smaller body is not gonna give you the peace that you're looking for. Peace comes when you heal your relationship with food and then you choose on purpose.

[00:20:08] Listen for this bod. For [00:20:10] my body, this is, this is the way that it likes to be fueled. This is the frequency it likes to eat sugar. This is, and that's going to be different for everybody. My frequency is not going to be your [00:20:20] frequency, but you're never going to find out what yours is if you don't start practicing and listening to your body more than you listen to the BS thinking.

[00:20:27] Right? It's driving the overeating and [00:20:30] driving the guilt and driving the shame. Okay. So that's what we're going to get into over the next couple of weeks. And I'm really excited to dig into this with you guys in October. Make sure that you're getting coached on this stuff. [00:20:40] Okay. Get coached on it. Bring your questions to the Q and A's.

[00:20:43] Um, bring this stuff up with your accountability partners. The, the more reps you put in, the [00:20:50] more work that you do, the more, the more you're going to see in terms of results. The more you just dip a tiny toe in, you're not going to see anything from that. Okay? [00:21:00] So I understand that this work takes bravery for sure, but I just want you to be open to the fact that it's not just a smaller body.

[00:21:09] It's not just weight [00:21:10] loss. It's just not a smaller number on the scale. It does not give you what you think it's going to give you, but healing your relationship with food, being able to feel confident around any food and being able to pivot [00:21:20] whenever you need to pivot and enjoy your anniversaries and your holidays and all that, I think it's just priceless.

[00:21:25] Okay. So that's what we're going to talk about this month. I cannot wait to get into it with you guys and [00:21:30] I will talk to you next time. Bye guys.

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